Save Yourself: 15 Slut-tastic Sex Facts

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1. Vajonfidence means “vagina confidence.” (I made that up.)

2. Bad: 83% of U.S. teenagers have sex for the first time before receiving any formal sex education.

3. Good: Almost a third of all women over 80 years old still have sex with their spouse or boyfriend.

4. Rub some jiz on your face immediately, because sperm has a tightening effect on the skin–aka it’s the world’s cheapest anti-aging cream.

5. Sperm has other uses beyond being an affordable beauty product. During World War I, British Secret Intelligence Service (MI6) used semen as invisible ink, because it didn’t react with iodine vapor (the main method used to detect invisible ink), and because there was clearly tons of it available. However, they stopped using it once they realized it smelt jank if it wasn’t, ya know, fresh.

6. They’re called STIs now, not STDs (that’s racist).

7. Important:  Researchers from the University of California found that men who helped with the housework got 50% more sex than those who did none.

8. Prostitution is legal in many countries (like about half of them), including Iran, where “temporary wives” can be obtained for a few hours. Convenient.

9. There are 5 calories in a teaspoon of semen. (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SPIT IT OUT!) (J/K it’s gluten free so fuck it.)

10. We automatically perceive people who smell good as being more attractive.

11. Weird: Women used to menstruate during the new moon (when it’s dark at night) and ovulate during a full moon (when it’s light). Now, in a world full of artificial lighting and bright screens, women are not as in tune with the connection between their biology and nature, so our periods are all over the place. (Is this actually real tho? Whatever, it’s funny.)

12. Here’s a terrifying fact: Most Americans have an STI. More than two-thirds of Americans adults are infected with one or more strains of HPV (although thankfully only a small portion have the strains that can cause cancer).

13. 1 in 10 Americans with a smart phone have used it during sex. (Does that number seem low to anyone else??)

14. Your vagina is special and unique, just like a snowflake! Nerve endings are distributed differently in every woman’s vagina, which means that every woman needs a different combination of stuff going on in order to cum. (That’s why we need to help guys out–they can’t read a vagina’s mind.)

15. Cray: Gay men have bigger boners than straight men. (Not lying–you can read about it here.)

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A French Sugar Baby’s Guide to Hedonism in NYC

Screen Shot 2014-11-18 at 11.11.32 AMFor the latest installment of my Sugar Babies column for VICE, I spoke with a French sugar baby who recently arrived in New York, and who’s using a sugar daddy website to fulfill her hedonistic fantasies. Think caviar, ticking fetishists, penthouse threesomes, bruises and hidden cocktail parlors. Read it HERE :)

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15 Of My All Time Fave Porn Star Quotes

Stoya and James Deen by Steven Klein
 
As well as having genitals, porn stars also have brains. I’ve compiled 15 of my favorite things ever said by the porn stars I most admire. You’re welcome :)

1. “If you think pubic hair on a woman is unnatural or weird, you aren’t mature enough to be touching vaginas.” – Stoya

2. “I don’t define myself as straight, because if I meet a guy and I’m attracted to him, I’m going to have sex with him. I just have yet to meet the guy. I don’t like labels, I like freedom.” – James Deen (from his interview on the Brett Easton Ellis podcast–so good!)

3. “I think some people recognize my butthole before they recognize my face.” – Bobbi Starr

4. “People don’t understand that the main ingredient to everything is consent. I don’t believe that there is any fantasy too extreme or too out there to enact between two consenting adults in a safe environment. I actually think that it helps people grow and become comfortable with who they are. And that little step to admit what you like in the bedroom will bleed over to the rest of your life and allow you to be more open with yourself and with others about what you need and who you are.” – Princess Donna

5. “What one person sees as degrading and disgusting and bad for women might make some women feel empowered and beautiful and strong.” – Sasha Grey

6. “Something I find really amazing about porn is that the girls aren’t rail thin, they’re real women. Porn stars don’t starve themselves. Porn stars think, ‘Maybe if I eat this piece of cheesecake it will go straight to my ass, and then I’ll get hired for more butt movies.’ And actually, the girls who are super skinny don’t sell well, because people want to see bodies bounce. They want to see flesh–something to grab onto and suck on. Like, I don’t want to stick my face in somebody’s bony ass, because it will hurt my face, you know?” – Bobbi Starr (from my interview with her)

7. “I think every woman should get double penetrated at least once. It’s an intense experience, even if you just do it with a large toy and a person, or two toys and yourself. I just think every girl should try it.” – Joanna Angel

8. “When I went to the AVN [Adult Video News] awards, I’d just found out that I was pregnant. I was sitting there signing autographs, listening to my fans say, “Oh my God Tori! I love the way you sucked this dick,” or, “Oh my God, you take cock in the ass so great,” and all the while I was saying to myself, “These Spanx are really tight; I really just want to let my belly out.” – Tori Black (from my interview!

9. “I have found that when I know my own boundaries, when I have confidence in myself, other people do as well, and I’m also far better at blowing off any random a-hole that wants to pass judgment on me. Not in my life? Not one of my chosen people? I don’t care what you have to say about my choices.”- Dylan Ryan

10. “Why is there porn explicitly “for women”? By saying there needs to be porn for women, you’re basically isolating women as a gender, and saying, “This is how women should think. This is how their sexuality should be.” It’s counterproductive (from what I understand) to the equality movement. Who says that one woman’s take on sexuality is the right way to think? One woman might like to watch a film with high production value and beautiful sex. Another might like some BDSM things with beating, degradation — and it doesn’t mean either is right or wrong. Pornography is made for individuals to find what they enjoy, and what turns them on. There’s no market research on this because sexuality is always developing, growing, and evolving. You could talk to a million people about what they like in porn, and you’re going to get a million answers of what a million people like in porn at that moment.” – James Deen

11. “My goal is to be myself, and to challenge stereotypes, and to follow the rules, and break them, and make new rules. It’s not about doing something that’s already been done. That would be silly.” – Sasha Grey

12. “People always say, ‘You could be doing the most intense, extreme dirty thing and you make it look so pure.’ Whenever someone smacks my ass or hits my in the face, I’m smiling.” – Belladonna (from her cover interview in Richardson mag)

13. “I really enjoy the performance aspect of porn. Some of the best sex scenes to me can be poetry, and I think sexuality can be an art form. Sasha Grey always used to say that she was a performer, and I feel that way too.” – Kimberly Kane

14. “When I was 12 and 13 I had a lot of BDSM fantasies, and it was very difficult to deal with. I grew up Catholic, and I thought my fantasies and desires were wrong and immoral, and I didn’t have anybody to talk to about them, and the few friends I felt comfortable speaking to thought I was crazy. I wish I’d read 120 Days of Sodom when I was that age–I think it would have healed me as a person a lot.”  Sasha Grey (from my interview)

15. Our relationships to porn remain complicated and incredibly simple. Porn has proliferated and taken so many hits. It prevails and continues to be one of the many pop culture meters that is both affected by what people want and determines what people want. It is the ultimate representation of human sexuality and the biggest way in which we incorrectly interpret human sexuality. Porn is us.” – Dylan Ryan

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Ask Slutever: Why Am I Attracted to Ugly Dudes?

Dear Slutever,

Is it weird to fantasize about fucking ugly people? I’ve noticed that often, when I see a guy who I don’t find physically attractive, I immediately have thoughts about us fucking doggy-style. I’m semi concerned that subconsciously it’s because I want to be the more attractive person in a sexual scenario, making it a self-esteem issue. . . but I don’t know, maybe I’m just legitimately into ugly dudes? Help, Sarah

Honestly, I’m at the point where I don’t think it’s “weird” to fantasize about anything. The human mind is incredibly perverted, and I think most of us wouldn’t admit–sometimes not even to ourselves–where our deepest, darkest fantasies could lead us if we let them. Having said that, I don’t think “fantasizing about fucking ugly people” is even particularly that dark. And not to be overly PC, but I wouldn’t use the world ugly, because it just feels kind of cruel, ya know? But I do understand what you mean about desire to fuck someone who you–or who general society–wouldn’t deem a standard beauty.

It’s no secret that, since the dawn of sex, people have been attracted to things that are “dirty,” and have felt the impulse to have have types of sex that polite society says we shouldn’t be having–e.g. anal sex, piss sex, fucking your friend’s spouse, or your teacher, or your student, sleeping with prostitutes, eating your girlfriend out on her period, being treated like a dog and kept in a cage… whatever, there’s a million examples. And I think your impulse probably falls into a similar category. 

My personal fantasies evolve and change over time, but there was a period that lasted for about two years where every time I masturbated I would think about being gangbanged by a group of really gross, hairy, fat, brutish guys, which is literally the exact opposite of the the type of person I’m actually attracted to in a relationship way. At the risk of sounding egotistical, I think I liked the idea/the perversity of being used and abused by guys who “didn’t deserve me.” My friend, the sex blogger Tea Hacic, used to have similar fantasies–we’d talk about it all the time. We even nicknamed it (quite narcissistically) the “Beauty and the Beast complex.” And I guess maybe you could link that to a self esteem issue, but I don’t think it has to be. Like, I enjoy getting smacked during sex sometimes, and that doesn’t mean that I devalue myself or think that I deserve abuse in my regular life–I just like it, OK? Sometimes we’re just turned-on by stuff, and we don’t have to over-think it, but that can ruin the fun and impulsiveness of it.

It does seem like what you’re talking about is specific to sex, and not “romance,” because you mentioned that your immediate impulse is to get fucked doggy-style by these guys, rather than to kiss and hug them. And actually, there is such a thing as “teratophilia,” which is defined as “the sexual paraphilia characterised by sexual attraction to deformed or monstrous people / Attraction to monsters.” Maybe that’s you! Yay, you have a paraphilia–now you’re officially special.

But basically, no, I don’t think it’s weird or harmful to have these fantasies, and I of course don’t think it would be bad to act on them either, so long as your less-attractive partner doesn’t feel objectified, or like a novelty (unless that’s what he/she is into, I guess… ugh, sex is confusing).

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