Monthly Archives

January 2009

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Back to Hell

January 28, 2009

See, hideous. After two month of living the high life in my parent’s cozy little house in upstate New York, with a committed slave to wash my clothes, make my dinner, and clean up after me (my mother), I am now back in Squallyoaks, and it’s fucking hell. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve become accustomed to a life of luxury, or if it’s just that my memory of what our squat used to look like is completely warped,…

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What I Think Boys Think Is Cool

January 19, 2009

Boys are a very simple species, with tiny, uncomplicated brains, which means it’s pretty easy to figure out why they do the things they do, and like the things they like. In terms of style, it seems that most boys choose their clothes based on what they think will most likely get them laid, and what will make them feel most comfortable. Not that that’s a bad thing. We like it when you adorn your peculiar little angular bodies with…

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My Boyfriend is a Lesbian

January 16, 2009

I used to think by boyfriend was gay because he wore makeup, cried during Meg Ryan movies, and liked to wear my lingerie while having sex. After months of extensive scientific research and lots of snooping through his private things, however, my new theory is that he’s not a cake boy after all, but rather a woman trapped in a man’s body. But the catch is, he’s still into girls (I think). So technically, this makes him a lesbian. It’s…

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Online Dating

January 10, 2009

Bob = future hubby I’ve always thought of online dating as being really depressing- sort of like a false Mecca for the socially illiterate (e.g. ugly people). And call me old fashioned, but the idea of forming a human bond through an LCD screen was just far too abstract for me. However, recent pangs of loneliness and my own curiosity as to what actually goes on in this mysterious digital love orgy inspired me to try it out for myself.…

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