Monthly Archives

June 2009

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The Intruder

June 30, 2009

This is a short story I wrote a few months ago I love jerking off in the shower. It’s the perfect way to start the day, if you ask me. Actually, you could probably go as far to say I’m addicted to it. For some people it’s methamphetamine. For me it’s that perfect, glowing moment. That instant where the rest of the world seems to disappear and all that’s left is beautiful, sublime nothingness. If I believe in God, this…

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New Squat

June 24, 2009

Last night at Squally… I’m sitting in the front room of our new squat which, ironically or not, is the ex-HQ of a seriously massive drug operation. “Are the Nigerian drug lords going to come back and kill us?” asks Dale, worriedly. “I like it here,” smiles Dominic. “It’s like living in a crime scene.” The new squat is a semi-detached terrace house on a lovely street in Elephant and Castle. Well… as lovely a street as you get in…

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R.I.P. Our Stuff

June 15, 2009

As it’s only a week until our beloved squat is being smashed into a pile of rubble, yesterday my housemates and I decided to drag all of our worldly possessions out onto the street and attempt to sell it to the crack heads/mutants who live in the neighboring council estate. This included the majority of our furniture, some clothes, a basketball hoop, about three thousand VHS tapes, some miscellaneous junk, and some music equipment we later realized was actually our…

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Mid Life Crisis

June 11, 2009

Photo Matthew Josephs “I think I’m going to become a lesbian,” said my mother down the phone. My mother received a four-handed massage from two Mexican women in Cancun last weekend and now she was contemplating converting to homosexuality. “Wow mom,” I replied. “You’re so, like… edgy.” If I had to describe my mother in three words they would be ‘Jesus-loving prude.’ So if you can imagine, this statement came as quite a shock to me. Not to mention she’s…

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Ritual

June 8, 2009

This post was originally written by my flatmate and I for the Vice blog. Hey! We’re Karley and Bunny. We’re homeless. Well, in three weeks we’ll be homeless, as our beloved squat of two and a half years is finally coming to an end. Bummer. As we’re not too into the idea of being vagrants, we’ve decided to try and use magic as a method of salvaging our home. You know, rather than, like, looking over the paperwork and associated…

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Right Now

June 4, 2009

Photo by Ben Rayner (P.S. That’s my hand.) I’m sitting in my living room thinking about how badly I want to fuck that French guy from The Dreamers, Louis Garrel. He is just so… amazing. I want to slit my throat and bleed all over his naked chest, then cut him open and spend the remaining moments of my life curled inside his rib cage. “Do I look more or less like a tree than yesterday?” Dale just stumbled into…

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