Monthly Archives

January 2010

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You’re Not Real But I Love You Anyway

January 25, 2010

Everyone knows how it feels to fall for someone who doesn’t actually exist, whether it’s a character in a film, or the hero in your favorite a novel, or even the occasional cartoon (as IF you don’t want to bone Trent from Daria). I’ve always had a thing for fictional guys, and have spent the majority of my life lusting not after actors, but rather the characters they play. I don’t want Johnny Depp; I want Edward Scissorhands. I don’t…

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Sexual Disasters

January 20, 2010

Pic @ Darren Cullen   Having sex is weird and dangerous. And fun, on occasion, but lately I can’t seem to remember why. These past few months have been plagued with one dating disaster after the next. I’ve been victim to everything from shameless rejection to sloppy kisses to erectile dysfunction. Naturally, I refuse to believe that any of this has anything to do with me. I mean, what’s wrong with you London?! Can’t you produce just one hot, smart,…

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Secret Society

January 16, 2010

Pic @ Harley Weir Losing your virginity is super important in the grand scheme of your life—major right of passage, sexual discovery, loss of innocence, becoming a woman, blah blah, whatevs. I remember my first time like it was just yesterday. It was the most profound twenty-six seconds of my life. Growing up my girl friends and I would sit around for hours, planning the details our first sexual experience. We were so delusional, all genuinely believing we were going…

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Stupid Kids

January 13, 2010

Today is strange. I’m currently under quarantine, after having come down with a horrible cold. I haven’t left the house in days. I don’t know if it’s the gross amount of cough medicine I’m on, or if it’s being all cooped up like this, but as I sit here, huddled over my laptop, typing these words, I’m suddenly overwhelmed with feelings of bliss. I’m in bed. Matthew’s in the living room singing and making lots of abstract noise with his…

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House Arrest

January 11, 2010

I haven’t left the house in four days. I feel trapped, but in a good way. I’m still staying at Mavi’s. I keep planning to leave, but have yet to muster up the courage to actually do so. Outside is too cold, too dismal, too filled with obligation. Penned up in this house, it feels bizarrely like time has stopped. Mavi lives in a converted ballroom in east London. The house consists of one bedroom, a kitchen, a large bathroom…

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Platform: Blind Date (Sort Of)

January 8, 2010

Photo by Matthew Josephs I’ve never been on a blind date. The whole idea of it is just so embarrassing; I don’t understand why anyone would willingly put themselves through it. However, lately I’ve been feeling sort of alone / lost / dick-needy / whatever, so when my friend Mavi offered to “set me up” with one of her hot friends, I wasn’t completely averse to the idea. As of late, it’s been Mavi’s main mission in life to find…

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Set Up

January 6, 2010

  I’ve been crashing on my friend Mavi’s sofa for the past two nights, trying to avoid going back to the basement from hell. Mavi is my beautiful, loud Italian friend who has a shaved head apart from one long ponytail that sprouts from the top of her head. Random but also kind of amazing? She can’t speak English very well, mainly because instead of familiarizing herself with actual English words she would rather spend her time learning (and sometimes…

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Home Sweet Home

January 5, 2010

I’ve been back in London for twenty-four hours. It’s shit here. Although being back home in Nowheresville USA is akin to choking on normalcy, I already miss the comforts it provided—the warm bed, the constant supply of food, the unconditional (yet perhaps undeserved?) love from my mother. It’s easy to get used to. And now I’ve been plunged headfirst back into the squat-o-sphere, and I’m beginning to remember why I left in the first place. The real world sucks. During…

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