“Pornography allows us to explore our deepest, most forbidden selves. Porn dreams of eternal fires of desire, without fatigue, incapacity, aging, or death.” – Camille Paglia
Bobbi Starr is one of the best and biggest porn stars today. She’s also an intelligent, funny, sex-positive feminist. Duh, all the best post stars are! You may remember that I interviewed Bobbi in the “Orgasms: Where R They?” episode of the VICE Slutever show. Bobbi also does a lot of work with the fetish porn Mecca Kink.com, and directs porn films for Evil Angel. She and I recently chatted about butt stuff, girl-power and emotional breakdowns.Oh hey just hanging out, nbd
Slutever: You’ve said that your butthole is what made you famous. How so?
Bobbi Starr: Well, just because of the mass amount of work I’ve done that has involved my butthole. I think some people recognize my butthole before they recognize my face.
Last year you won the XRCO award for best “orgasmic analist.” What does that mean, exactly?
Who knows. I don’t understand a lot of the awards I win. I also won “orgasmic oralist,” but last time I checked your clitoris isn’t in your throat, so…
When I was younger I had a boyfriend that genuinely thought I should be able to cum from giving him head. Although he also thought that all girls store breast milk in their boobs from childhood, and didn’t understand that the absence of a period is a sign of pregnancy.
Wow, you dated winners.
Tell me about it. But anyway, can you actually cum from anal sex?
Yeah. Actually it’s way easier for me to cum from anal sex than vaginal sex. I just like the intensity of it. I think it’s because my butthole is sensitive. I’m not saying that my butthole is more sensitive than my vagina, but I don’t know… maybe it is? I’m at the point now where if I want to cum fast I just stick something in my butt.
How much stuff have you had up there at once, like multiple dicks?
Two. I did double anal twice.
Is it good?
It’s crazy intense. I don’t know if it’s good yet, I haven’t done it enough. Like, you know how the first time you try anal sex you’re like, “I don’t know if that was good, but I want to do it again anyway”? Well that’s how I feel about double anal. I think if I did it more, I would probably figure out a way to relax my body into it and enjoy it.
What about people who aren’t porn stars but want to be double anal’d? That seems like it would be a difficult thing to orchestrate.
True, that seems hard. Do you just stroll into a bar and say, “Hey guys, wanna DP me?”
There’s always OK Cupid.
I once tried to get these two Italian brothers to do double anal on me, but they weren’t really into it because they were brothers, so they didn’t want to sword fight my asshole, unfortunately.
That’s a perk of being a porn star: you can have experiences that normal people fantasize about but can’t actually make happen.
Right! People always ask me, “What made you want to do porn?” and I say, “Well, it’s the safest environment to participate in extreme sex acts.” In the real world it’s hard to bring the party back to your apartment for an anal gangbang. And even if you could make that happen, you’d be taking a huge risk. In the porn industry people are tested frequently, and you know who you’re fucking, so it’s a special environment.
I was actually pretty anti anal for a long time, because I tried it as a teenager and there was a minor shit situation, which was obviously my worst nightmare, and after that I didn’t do it for six years. But then recently I tried it again and I realized that I like it because if the dick is in my ass, it means it’s out of the way enough that I can masturbate without interference. Because sometimes when the dick is in my vaj, it’s just too up in my grill to be able to touch myself efficiently.
I agree with that–it’s a serious added advantage. Like, get that thing out of my way.
Exactly. So, I know you often talk and write about being a sex-positive feminist. However, some people, including many feminists, think that porn degrades women. Thoughts?
First of all, any industry can be degrading toward women, if the woman is allowing herself to be degraded. Also, what the general public needs to understand is that what they see in a porno is the edited version of a scene, not what happens on set. When a girl walks onto a porn set she has all the control in the world. She can stop the entire production, because if she leaves, there is no vagina or asshole to fuck. I have never felt degraded on a porn set, I have only felt powerful. I participate in porn for my own enjoyment and exploration.
I think that’s why it’s important to have porn stars like you, Sasha Grey and Kimberly Kane–girls who are perceived by the public as being intelligent and sex-positive, and who love their job. It’s changing the mainstream perception of the porn industry.
I think this has a lot to do with the current wave of feminism, which is a very personal wave. The previous waves of feminism were very public. They were about protest, fighting back, and going out into the streets. Whereas this particular wave of feminism is like, “This is the way I want to live my life, and I don’t care if you think it’s right or wrong, and no one is going to convince me otherwise.” It’s about living by example.
Yeah, that’s so true! Also, modern feminism can get a bit whiny at times. It’s like, stop complaining and just do something cool instead yo! Don’t talk about it, be about it! But moving on, do you think porn presents an accurate representation of female pleasure in sex?
I think the porn industry gives an exaggerated example of all types of sex, including female pleasure It’s kind of like in theater, where the actors have to give performances big enough to reach the people sitting in the last row of the theater. It’s the same with porn–everything is exaggerated, everything is bigger. That doesn’t mean the representation is necessarily inaccurate, I just think it’s sensational.
I’ve said this before, but when I was a teenager, watching porn helped me to have a more positive body image, because I realized that I preferred watching the curvier girls have sex, because I was turned on by the way their bodies bounced.
That’s something I find really amazing about porn–the girls aren’t rail thin, they are real women. Porn stars don’t starve themselves. Porn stars think, “Maybe if I eat this piece of cheesecake it will go straight to my ass, and then I’ll get hired for more butt movies.” And actually, the girls who are super skinny don’t sell well, because people want to see bodies bounce. They want to see flesh–something to grab onto and suck on. Like, I don’t want to stick my face in somebody’s bony ass, because it will hurt my face, you know?
Totally. So, you do a lot of work with the fetish porn empire Kink.com. Is dominance and submission something you’re into IRL?
I wouldn’t say it’s something I’m specifically into, because the sex I have isn’t very specific. I’m more in the moment. If I find a partner who is submissive, then I know I can pull out my dominant side. Generally I don’t like to use terms like ‘switch’ or ‘dom’ or ‘sub, or even terms like ‘gay,’ ‘straight’ or ‘bi,’ because honestly, my sexuality goes with the wind. One day it’s one thing, the next it’s completely different.
Sometimes you’re in the mood for pizza, and sometimes you’re on a no-carb diet.
Sometimes you want sausage, and sometimes you want a taco.
That’s so true Bobbi. So, do you think BDSM allows for a heightened emotional connection with your partner?
A lot of people who participate in BDSM on a regular basis are looking for an extreme high. For them “subspace” is a sexual goal. It’s kinda of like an orgasm–once you have one, you want more. So once someone who is into BDSM achieves subspace, all they can think about is getting back there.
Can you explain what subspace is?
Subspace is what I consider an orgasm for a BDSM sub. It’s basically a very intense emotional reaction to something of an extreme nature that’s being done to you. This could be being beaten, or verbally humiliated, or pissed on, and so forth. There’s something that is triggered in your brain when you’re going through an extreme experience–you have to give into it, physically and emotionally. But subspace is different for everyone, so it’s a little ambiguous to describe.
So at the Kink.com armory do you see people experiencing intense emotional breakdowns through S/M where they like cry and stuff?
Yes, we see this on a regular basis. Sometimes it’s a very healthy release, and sometimes it’s not so healthy. For example, some people will allow themselves to go into subspace when they don’t quite understand the intensity of going through an emotional experience like that, or other people are just so desperate to achieve the state that they are reckless with the trust they give out. That being said, Kink are very familiar with this, and we have a BDSM protocol that we go through. We make it very obvious to performers that we have a safeword and they need to use it. Our crews are allowed to stop a production at any point if they feel something unsafe or unhealthy is going on, and we allow for aftercare if someone has broken down. Our talent department will even follow up with the talent a few days later, just to make sure they’re still alright. Kink.com wants to provide an experience not only for the members of the website, but also for the models who walk through their doors. That being said, negative experiences do occur, both in BDSM and vanilla sex, and there’s nothing you can really do about it.
Do you think BDSM is a form a therapy for some people?
Oh, completely. I have friends who do pro-domme sessions that say the job is one third dominatrix, one third business, and one third therapist. People will walk into their dungeon and say, “I have this and this going on in my life, and I need you to beat it out of me.”
I suppose that’s just as a fine a way to deal with something as any. Some people drink, some take Prozac, some pray, some see dommes. I guess.
I think it’s admirable and healthy, as long as people understand what they’re getting into. S/M is not for the weak of heart :)