Vogue Column

Breathless: Does Size Matter?

January 4, 2014

Have you ever boned a small peen? Does size matter, or is it just one of those “issues” we are taught to care about? How small is too small? Also, how many penises can a normal female mouth fit into itself at one time? I answer almost all of those questions in my most recent Vogue column. Read it HERE!



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  • Reply O January 4, 2014 at 9:18 am

    Lol good read, you always write in such a down to earth way.

  • Reply mary January 4, 2014 at 9:17 pm

    why do you not publish comments anymore? :(

    • Reply karleyslutever January 6, 2014 at 3:06 pm

      I do! There just haven’t been as many. I think people comment less when they read my writing on other sites… because maybe it doesn’t make so much sense to come back here and comment. Or maybe people just have less to say!

  • Reply pablo January 5, 2014 at 3:51 am

    r u emma roberts actually, u look like her?

    • Reply B January 9, 2014 at 12:22 pm

      I think so too! :D xx

    • Reply L January 9, 2014 at 1:23 pm

      I agree :)

    • Reply El January 10, 2014 at 8:11 am


  • Reply Nathan January 6, 2014 at 7:14 pm

    Do people really buy magnifying glasses that cost £100?

  • Reply Lala January 8, 2014 at 1:30 am

    I need a substantial penis after I fucked my English teacher who had the smallest appendage I had ever seen in my young inexperienced life. I learnt to feel a cup or sometimes asking to see it because i don’t play with a small penis.

  • Reply steph January 8, 2014 at 9:26 am

    Great article, really well put and right on in every way in my opinion. I too have my own small dick experience (like micro penis experience). Have also many times experienced the other end of the spectrum where it was too big and no fun at all. I think in reality Goldilocks was a fairytale specifically rendered to prepare us for the big wide world of varying genitals. Nothing can rival one that’s just right.

    • Reply Chris January 24, 2014 at 11:26 pm

      Wonderfully observed, and what a journey of discovery it is to find that just-right one, and to hold on tight.

  • Reply Guy Bezzar January 9, 2014 at 3:56 am

    I’m so jazzed to have discovered Slutever! Clever writing that makes me laugh out loud. Look forward to the articles as she travels deeper into the ruby fruit jungle.

  • Reply Vincent January 10, 2014 at 1:08 pm

    Karley, would you please be kind and define how many inches a ”small penis” is?

    Best regards, Vincent

    • Reply lala January 12, 2014 at 3:14 am

      2 inches up to 4.5 that is below average

    • Reply Chris January 24, 2014 at 11:32 pm

      I know your question is directed to Karley, but I’ll offer this in case she doesn’t get to it. Eighty-five percent of men fall into the range of 5-7″, something I’ve seen referred to as the “normal range.” Consequently, anything under five may be considered to be obviously small, and anything over seven may be considered obviously large. That’s just considering the bell-shaped curve and distance from average. I have it on reasonable authority that a quarter of women consider six and under to be small. Perhaps they take into account that the universe is expanding.

  • Reply LadyLiberty January 14, 2014 at 9:25 am

    Karleyyy – Now that you are writing for Vogue, I’ll read it <3 You fckin bombshell, you :)

  • Reply Chris January 24, 2014 at 4:53 pm

    Karley, not in Vogue’s target readership (man 52), I spotted your article there and loved it. I followed here to offer this comment. I’m probabably hung just about exactly like your filmmaker, and I’ve realized since age six that I’m significantly small in that department. Well, I didn’t realize then that it would never grow, but the rest of me did rather nicely, and there, alas, not at all. I entered the world of dating, relationships, and sex with the penis the size of a toddler’s. It has been a dealbreaker for some women in my life, and I never begrudged them following their desires and preferences elsewhere. When they were honest with me about it, I’ve always thanked them for their honesty. It’s much better than having her say to me that it’s “nice,” or “fine,” or “a good size,” and then tell her friends that there won’t be an encore or repeat performance because it’s the size of a raisin and a total turn-off.

    Learning many ways to please, as your filmmaker has done, the best reealistic beginning is if a woman can say: “Well it isn’t ideal, but I’m sure we can both have some fun with it.” Afterward, I’m pleased if the stories a woman tells her friends begin with a satisfied smile and faraway look, and words like: “He has a very little dick, but he sure knows how to use it.” That isn’t always the result, but that’s my realistic goal.

    I enjoyed very much your article, openness, and viewpoint, and you’re an excellent writer.

  • Reply ivan milton February 2, 2014 at 10:10 pm

    On this subject try reading The Sotweed Factor by John Barth

  • Reply john March 4, 2014 at 9:52 pm

    I appreciated reading your point of view. This seems to be a subject of great concern to many people of both sexes. Personally, I fall into the high average size but have noticed, as Chris posted, that some women seem to have a scale in mind that is unrelated to the actual normal range. It seems that what they want is a “big one” and anything that isn’t a “big one” must therefor necessarily be a small one and unsatisfactory. But honestly, as any man of some experience would agree, there are size differences in women as well. Some vaginas are snug, some are less so, and some are very loose. I would suggest the possibility that there is a direct relationship between the size of a woman’s vagina and her insistence that her suitor have a large penis.
    On the other hand, a woman I loved nearly 20 years ago, had a roomy vagina and we still both agree to this day that the sex we had together was the best sex we’ve ever had. I attribute that to the size and compatibility of our other sexual organs…our imaginations.

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