Killing Kittens is a members-only sex club that professes to be “the world’s network for the sexual elite.” Think Eyes Wide Shut, but without the scary illuminati part. Founded by the tough talking, 6-ft blond, Emma Sayle, Killing Kittens been a big thing in the UK for a decade now, holding debauched parties full of upscale guests that begin with champagne and oysters, and end in a fall less civilized manner.
Killing Kittens is held monthly in London, Ireland and Los Angeles. It moves around to various locations–a swanky cabaret club, a sauna bar with a huge jacuzzi, and the London townhouse where The King’s Speech was filmed are all regular destinations.
And, I have some exciting news: This Saturday night, Killing Kittens will make its New York debut! For all those approved by the KK board, the party charges $100 per woman and $250 per couple. They don’t let in single men. I understand the reasoning behind that–no one wants a rapey sex party–but I’ve been to sex parties in the past that let in men, and just have a more intense screening system, and I feel like it evened out the gender ratio in a good way. BUT, I’m still very excited for KK’s NYC presence! And I will surely report back after I attend the party this weekend. (And I’ll try not to get so wasted that I pass out, like I did at my last sex party… :/)
Last april, Sayle released her book, Behind the Mask, a memoir about her kinky life, and her road to forming a sex party empire. The Metro newspaper described it as “a mix of Jackie Collins (all sauntering and purring) and Carrie Bradshaw (cocktails, high heels and fireside sex with a mysterious ‘Mr Black’).” In the USA it’s available on ebook, and the paperback is out this September. I recently chatted with Sayle about what Killing Kittens is all about.Emma Sayle
Slutever: I read that you had the impulsive idea to start Killing Kittens while watching an orgy happen at a friend’s party, is that true?
Emma Sayle: Yeah, it was a friend’s wedding in Ibiza, and there was a crowd of people going at it who are all quite high profile in London–the “Primrose Hill Posse,” as they’re called. At the time I was doing a lot of PR, and a lot of my clients were in the adult world–from the Erotica Show to pornstar Ron Jeremy. And almost everything in that world–whether it was porn, or sex toys, or sex parties–was run by men. So while very hungover in Ibiza I just thought, “Fuck it, I’m going to start my own sex party.” There was no big business plan.
I know you throw a few different types of events–from sauna parties, to parties on boats. What’s Saturday’s New York KK going to be like?
It’s a penthouse party, like the ones we often throw in London. It’s in a loft space. It’s cocktail attire–so suits and dresses–with an oyster and champagne reception, followed by the party. There will be a bar setup, and a few beds. The capacity in there is 120, and I think we’ll be just under that. If we get a good amount of regulars then the parties are quite quick to “get started.” But if there’s 80% new people, it can be slower to start because it’s not really normal to be out at a bar and start giving someone a blowjob on the bar stool.
True. The party has specific rules, right?
We don’t let single men in, and guys can’t initiate speaking with girls they don’t know; they have to wait for the girl to speak to them. So it’s very much about girls being in control and doing the flirting. Also everyone always wears masks, like in Eyes Wide Shut.
What made you bring KK to America?
I’ve wanted to throw a sex party in New York. We bought Kittens to LA last summer–we’re doing these little penthouse parties of 30 or 40 people, to get it going. That’s how it originally started in London, too–more intimate parties, which grew over time. I think New York will be a bigger entity much quicker, because there’s more crossover with London–there’s so many people who do business in both places, and New York is a transient place for Londoners, so some of our regular London guests will be at Saturday’s New York party. There’s also a similar mindset and a type of person in London and New York. Whereas LA is… well, it’s bizarre. I’m still trying to figure it out. I wouldn’t call it a deep place.
Do people criticize you for being elitist because you have a screening process, and only let in a “certain caliber” of person?
We have to screen. If we let everyone in, the party would be full of 65-year-old sugar daddies with 20-year-old prostitutes. That’s not the dynamic you want at a sex party. I was on a national morning TV show in England last year, and they asked me if I was fattest. I have to say, we don’t discriminate at all on size. You can get a slightly overweight, curvaceous girl who just oozes sex appeal because she’s so confident, and then you get a really underweight catwalk model who has no sexual confidence whatsoever. So we let in as many big people as we do skinny people. But you know, the sort of people who want to come to these parties tend to be those who take care of themselves. There’s a slightly narcissistic element to the sex party goer. Not in a bad way–they just care about looking good.
I wrote an article about swingers, and people in open marriages, and a lot of them said that one of the greatest things about their lifestyle is that there’s an incentive to keep in shape into middle age, because they’re still sexually pursuing new people. They say it helps to keep their marriage healthy, because they stay attracted to one another.
I totally believe that.
What would you say is the demographic of a KK party? Is there a certain age group or profession it attracts? Also, what’s the ratio of men to women?
I’d say there’s more of the same attitude than the same profession. It’s not a case of all lawyers or bankers. It’s literally across spectrum, but the common denominator is that it’s people who want to experience life–they’re the optimists and the positivists. In terms of ratio, I would say it varies between 50/50, to 65% women and 35% men, depending on the party. If we have a discrete penthouse party with about 40 people, it tends to be more couples, so then it will be even. But at bigger parties more groups of women come on their own.
So, from your ten years in the business, are there any particular moments that stand out in your mind?
Well, there’s been a lot of “Kodak Moments.” We did a party in the huge townhouse where The King’s Speech was filmed, and I heard this girl screaming–like really going for it–and I walked in and saw her bent over a piano, and this other girl was fucking her hard with a strap-on, with this group of people standing around watching. Moments like that–well, the visual stays with you.
**For anyone interested, you can register for membership at killingkittens.com.