Today while finding ways to procrastinate and avoid doing any actual work, I decided to clean out my dreaded junk drawer–that bottomless pit where you shove all the stuff you don’t want to throw out but never want to look at or think about ever again. I haven’t gone through my junk drawer in about a year. Below is some of the stuff I found. Yikes…
Salt shaker filled with half used tube of lube. Apparently I couldn’t bring myself to throw out these last few drops.
Pregnancy test. Came in package of 2. Saved this one for predicted future use.
Ancient condom. (Unused, thus explaining need for pregnancy test.)
Chlamydia medication. (Duh.)
Bag of miscellaneous pill dust. (Holding on to this one actually.)
3D glasses. (Purchased for phashion reasons.)
Trendy occult necklace left behind by satanic ex-roommate. #MissYouFelix
UTI medication. #VajIssues
Selection of condiments. #Handy
Notice from government that I am poor enough to qualify for jank poor people health insurance.
Opened (potentially used) condom covered in what appears to be tobacco, pubes and glitter.