Rants, Feelings & Opinions

13 Of The Funniest Things Ever Said About Self-Love

February 19, 2015
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Historically, masturbation has gotten a pretty bad rap. It’s been said that jerking-off can cause blindness, will make you impotent or infertile, can lead to mental illness, or, arguably the worst of them all, will result in you burning in eternal hellfire. However, that hasn’t seemed to deter most of you. I personally have never touched myself, so I’m off the hook no matter what happens, unlike you perverts. Below are 13 of the best things ever said about masturbation. 1.…

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Rants, Feelings & Opinions

The Cutest, Weirdest and Most Tragic V-Days Ever

February 14, 2015
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And…. the winners of the Vagina Valentine’s Day Contest are….?!!? Last week, I asked people to send me their stories about the best, weirdest, most romantic, grossest or tragic thing that ever happened to them on Valentine’s Day, in exchange for one of my Slutever Vaj Tees. I finally picked the winners!  Also, I hope you’re having a good V-Day. Mine so far has been awful, actually, but I hope seeing Fifty Shades this afternoon will make it better (I…

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Rants, Feelings & Opinions

Valentine’s Day: A Non-Cheesy Gift Guide

February 7, 2015
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Mystery Train <3 On Valentine’s Day, you should suck, but your gift shouldn’t. Personally, I’ve always preferred being given a gift that’s useful, rather than something that feels like a thoughtless gesture (especially when that thoughtless gesture has like 40 grams of fat in it). Sure, flowers are pretty, but when your date shows up with flowers on a special occasion–an anniversary, V-day, a birthday, etc–that’s a surefire sign that he or she put no thought into your gift at…

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Vagina Valentine Contest

February 5, 2015
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Look how cool I look! All the cool kids are wearing vaginas on their chests these days. You should too! Luckily for you, I’m giving away three Slutever vaj tees to the winner of the Slutever Vagina Valentine contest, yay! Here’s what you have to do to enter: 1. Email a few sentences to karleyslutever@gmail.com about the best or weirdest or most romantic or tragic or grossest or lolzest thing that ever happened to you on Valentine’s Day. It can be a…

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Rants, Feelings & Opinions

Slutever’s 5 Recommendations for Life

January 30, 2015
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Photo by Petra Collins, from our short film Crimson Crusade :)   I’m making this a regular thing! Below are 5 pieces of internet that I believe will make you a smarter, cooler, happier, more date-able person. You’re welcome :) 1. Appropriate Behavior movie OMG you have to watch this, it’s so lolz. It’s a new movie written, directed by and starring Desiree Akhavan, who seems to be one of the coolest girls on the planet. My mission for 2015 is…

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Rants, Feelings & Opinions, Sex + Love Advice

20 Of The Best Things Ever Said About Sex

January 28, 2015
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Pic by Stacey Mark  Or, 20 of my favorite things said about sex, anyway :) 1. “I personally only like high-class escorts. I don’t like sleeping with people I really love. I don’t want to sleep with them because sex cannot last, but affection can last forever. I think this is healthy. ” – Karl Lagerfeld 2. “I’m devoted to promiscuity, and always have been. I believe the more you do, the better it is for you. I’m a great…

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Rants, Feelings & Opinions

The World’s Sexiest Dungeons

January 19, 2015
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Photo by Susan Meiselas Ever wondered what a real, professional BDSM dungeon looks like? Well, from personal experience, I can say that some are very elegant and ornate, while others are far trashier, and tend to be located in unassuming office buildings in gross areas of midtown, on a floor just above, like, a pottery class, and just below an insurance company. Random. Generally, what most professional, “for-hire” dungeons offer is a selection of rooms, each decorated to create a different mood,…

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