Is everyone everywhere having anal sex all the time and no one told me about it? Up until recently I was still under the impression that anal sex was really “kinky” and rarely had other than by porn stars, “bad girls” and rap guy’s girlfriends. Apparently I was wrong.
I’ve had anal three times. The first was when I was sixteen, with my fifteen year old boyfriend. His dick was pretty small so it didn’t hurt, but it didn’t feel very good, either. It just felt like a more uncomfortable version of going to the bathroom, except in reverse. Afterward I made a mental note that anal sex was something that needn’t be explored any further. The second time was a couple years later, with some random guy I met at a bar. It was an accident–he drunkenly lost his way, then I screamed and told him to go fuck himself, and took the night bus home.
My last anal experience was when I was twenty, with my boyfriend at the time. We had been up for two days taking ketamine and MDMA and I was so out of it that I could barely feel my body anymore, so when he suggested anal I was just like, “Yeah, sure… might as well get it over with while I’m basically in a coma.” He then pounded away for what seemed like hours, and I just sort of laid there, trying to piece together a cohesive thought, lost in a drug delirium, essentially dreaming with my eyes open. To make a long story short, when he finally pulled out some gross “stuff” happened, after which I freaked out and started crying, and the whole experience was so traumatic that I vowed never to have anal sex again for the rest of my life.
The strange thing, though, is that I’ve always been really into anal porn. (I’ve talked about this before, in my Lady Porn Day post). I think it’s partly due to the fact that with anal you get to see the girl get penetrated, but you also get to look at her vagina at the same time. It’s like killing two birds with one stone, ya know? Also, as someone who is predominantly submissive in bed, I like the power dynamic that often exists in anal porn. I like seeing girls dominated, bent over, tied up, fucked hard, and “abused”, if you will. (It’s consensual abuse, so it’s OK, duh.) So basically I like watching anal and fantasizing about anal, but the idea of actually doing it was always out of the question.
Until last week. Hmm… my boyfriend is probably going to get mad at me for writing about this, but actually I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even read my blog anyway, so whatever.
What happened was: last week my bf and I got into a stupid fight. I can’t even remember what it was about anymore–something to do with whether a phonetic transcription of the gurgling sounds made by a Haitian zombie would be interesting to read. Really important. Anyway, I angrily stormed out of his apartment, then came back crying ten minutes later like a loser, after which we made up more or less and then just went to sleep. But it was the kind of “sleep” where you’re both still kind of mad so you sleep facing opposite directions to give off the impression that you don’t give a shit, but in reality you feel awful and keep going over and over the situation in your head, and all you want to do is hug the other person but you’re pride won’t let you. One of those. Anyway, I eventually managed to pass out, only to be woken up to him flipping me over onto my stomach and pulling my hands behind my back. Then without saying anything he spit on my butt and just started fucking me in the ass. (???) In my head I was like uh… what?, but I was so stunned that I didn’t say anything and just let it happen. But then I got so turned on by it because it was kind of rapey and intrusive or whatever that I actually came while he was fucking my ass. (?!?!) I was masturbating simultaneously obvs but it was still very weird and unexpected. And then I became so obsessed with the fact that I could cum from anal sex that I made him do it again the next night and I came again. It’s a miracle?
Obviously after this happened I told everyone I knew. However most people didn’t respond the way I thought they would. Everyone was just kind of like, “Yeah, great, we know, anal feels good.” But if they all knew, then why didn’t I know? When I told a girl I waitress with about it, her immediate response was: “I’ve been getting so much anal lately, I literally have a different ass now.” WHAT? A different ass? What does that even mean?! I actually just walked away from her when she said that, I couldn’t handle it. Then one of my other friends said that she actually finds it easier to cum from anal, because it allows her more space and freedom to masturbate since the dick isn’t constantly getting in the way of her rubbing her clit. And I kind of know what she means, actually. It’s kind of just like masturbating with a bit(/a lot) more anal stimulation. Plus it’s “dirty”, and it makes you feel like a porn star, which is cool.
I feel like I’ve entered a new chapter of my life.