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Friends I’ll Never Meet

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Friends I’ll Never Meet: Cock and Ball Torture

January 19, 2012

We all have our own special ways of getting ourselves off: some people watch porn, some people put gerbils up their butt (#RichardGere), some people freeze their poop and us it as a dildo, and some people, like my internet friend Eliot, are into CBT. (Cock and ball torture, duh!) Eliot does all kinds of nasty stuff to his peen—punches it, steps on it, fills it with live insects, etc. He even invented his own CBT game called Ant Farm…

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Friends I’ll Never Meet: Stump Fucking

December 4, 2011

Ever since I saw the sex scene in Hustler White with the gay amputee prostitute, I’ve always thought it would be an enriching experience to have sex with an amputee and to be penetrated by the intact part of his/her severed limb. Unfortunately the opportunity has yet to present itself, however in my extensive exploration of amputee-devotee forums I recently made the friendship of Paul. Paul is 52 year old amputee from northern England. He is missing the lower part…

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Friends I’ll Never Meet: Fisty Nickle

November 2, 2011

                          My newest internet friend, Fisty Nickle, is a prominent member of the Zombie Resistance Underground–an online group dedicated to teaching others how to survive during the imminent zombie apocalypse, or “z-day.” There’s also a sex element to the The Zombie Resistance Underground, as many of the men involved seem to possess female sex slaves who they frequently photograph naked holding giant guns and swords. In fact, Fisty…

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I Shot off my Penis in ‘Nam

May 12, 2011

Having fully functioning, fully intact genitals is something most of us routinely take for granted. But some people, like Jim, are not so lucky. Jim accidentally shot off most of his penis while serving as a soldier in Vietnam. He was just 18 at the time, and has since struggled with his sexual identity as he is unable to have penetrative sex. I talked to Jim—now 56 and living in Orlando—about how his fluke penectomy has transformed him into a…

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Friends I’ll Never Meet: Sarah

March 26, 2011

Sarah’s Second Life Avatar Sarah is a 25 year old girl from New Jersey. We met on a sex fetish forum and digitally bonded over our love of being tied up. As we got to know each other better I discovered that Sarah suffers from a rare form of Dwarfism, that she is a quadriplegic and is permanently on a ventilator. Because of her condition, for most of her life Sarah has had minimal contact with the outside world. In…

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Friends I’ll Never Meet: My Former Slave

December 21, 2010

As you know, up until recently I had a personal slave who, for a few months, paid my rent and bought me loads of books on Amazon. (If you are uninformed, you can read about him HERE, HERE and HERE.) However, a couple of weeks ago he (selfishly) got fired from his job, meaning he can no longer afford to support my needs. I have since acquired a new slave, so TBH it’s sort of NBD. However I still find…

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Friends I’ll Never Meet: Anthony

October 13, 2010

Anthony has been in a wheelchair since he was thirteen, after a tumor on his cervical spine caused him to lose his ability to walk. About a month ago we became internet/phone friends after he responded to a Craigslist ad I posted, searching for strangers to have weird sex conversations with (as one does). We recently had a lengthy discussion about all the good/bad/kinky/scary things that go along with having sex as a wheelchair user. Anthony is from Guyana and…

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