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growing up

Rants, Feelings & Opinions

Dispatches from a Combat Zone: My 30s

April 6, 2015
thirty

By Cara Marsh Sheffler / photo by Jonas / When I was ten, I wanted to be Murphy Brown, knocked up by a hot war correspondent. When I was a little older, I wanted to be Candice Bergen, with her stunning, strangely pointed nose and a lion of French cinema for a husband. It was 1992 when I turned ten, which means I am old enough to know I mustn’t wait to fuck, marry, or murder my role models. I now…

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Rants, Feelings & Opinions

Painting Flowers

July 14, 2013

“That thing you just did–yeah, that! Do that again!” Recently, the comment section of this blog has been peppered with quite a bit of anger and criticism. This is nothing new, to be fair. Anyone who’s ever posted anything on the internet is familiar with the equation: Person + Internet = Rage. However, lately there’s been a lot of, “This blog has changed!” and “What happened to the old Karley?” I have to agree; this blog has changed. When I started…

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Rants, Feelings & Opinions

Late Twenties

October 11, 2012

Photo by Richard Kern I turn 27 in a week, which is tragic. Well, not really. To be honest I gave up caring about getting older after I hit the quarter-century mark (which temporarily destroyed me), because I realized that as you age, you gain more than just some cellulite. You gain some positive things, too. For example: knowledge; confidence; the ability to tell what clothes and hairstyles actually suit you; Facebook friends; the will to work more and be…

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Rants, Feelings & Opinions

Being Tragic

September 1, 2012

So like yesterday I was giving a blow job in the fitting room of Rainbow, and after it was over, as I was swallowing to the soundtrack of Demi Lovato’s “Give Your Heart a Break”, I thought, “Wait… I need to figure out a way to make my life less tragic and more glamorous.” I think a reevaluation of my existence is in order. For example: Why, at 26, do I still refill soy sauce bottles for a living? Why…

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Rants, Feelings & Opinions

How to be a Disaster

August 13, 2012

Images via Happy 2 b Sad Sometimes it’s OK to go on a six month downward spiral, as you long as you’re chic about it. Basically, there’s a right way and a wrong way to be a disaster. Like, you can’t just show up to your abortion wearing sweat pants. What if you ran into a street style photographer on the way there? Or the way back? Then what? And FYI, falling asleep on the L train with a half…

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Rants, Feelings & Opinions

Prom Stories

April 25, 2012
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photo by William Eggleston / To my first prom, my junior prom, I brought a freshman. It was a last minute thing, as I didn’t have a date and didn’t want to go on my own, for obvious reasons. The freshman, Sam, was in my art class, and we were going to prom “just as friends”, although I still kind of wanted to fuck him. Why not?, I thought. He wasn’t that cute but he was really funny, and I liked…

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