So we all know Dev Hynes is the coolest person ever. We all love his musical project Blood Orange, and he writes all of the best songs by our favorite artists like Solange, Sky Ferreria, Theophilus London, Florence and the Machine, etc, etc. However, this is a sex blog (I think?), not a music blog, and therefore we care far more about Dev’s sex life than his musical achievements, especially considering he’s a majorly relevant indie sex symbol. (Does that make us superficial? Wait–who cares.) I recently chatted with Dev about his valued sexual tips and techniques. You can read our convo below. (And P.S. – I think I might make this ‘Teach Me How To Fuck’ thing a regular column. Feel free to comment below with suggestions on future people to interview.)
Slutever: Dear Dev, you have a reputation for being an international playboy, sex symbol type person. So, say you’re with a girl and you already have your clothes off and it’s obvious you’re going to have sex. What’s your technique?
Dev Hynes: Well, first of all, you have to make sure the girl is wet before you take her underwear off. I like to start off with lots of kissing–kissing is vital to the enjoyment of sex. And there should be lots of touching–touching the body all over, the legs, the back and the neck, almost like massaging. And then you can start fingering the girl. But don’t just shove your fingers in, you should start by playing with the clitoris, and rubbing the breasts and playing with the nipples while lightly fingering the clitoris.
So wait, you’re saying that you don’t just shove your dick in instantly once you’re both naked?
Definitely not! In my mind, penetration is like the dessert to the meal. Before that, there’s work to do. Give yourself time during foreplay to show the woman that you know what you’re doing and that you’re in control. Think of it this way: most women will tell you when they want something inside them.
That’s a good piece of advice–make the girl really want it.
Yeah, there’s nothing better than a girl saying, “Oh my god please shove your dick inside me,” you know?
And there’s nothing worse than trying to fuck someone and them saying, “Oh my god no, don’t put that it there.”
That’s just embarrassing.
And illegal kind of.
Slightly illegal. It’s a gray area.
But anyway, back to your technique.
OK, so next I like to go down on the girl. It’s also good to play with the butthole around this time. Some people don’t like butt stuff, but those people will usually tell you immediately to stop. But everyone else I think likes it. I also like to go down on girls during sex. As in I’ve been inside them for a while, and then I pull out and go down on them.
What if a girl has her period? Would you go down on her then?
I’ve done it. Period stuff never bothers me. I know some girls aren’t into it, but I think sometimes that’s because they’re worried the guy is going to be grossed out or something. But I always try to explain I really just don’t care.
And if a guy doesn’t want to have sex with a girl when she’s on her period, that means he’s gay, right?
That’s what I thought. So, all vaginas look different. Are there certain kinds of vaginas that guys like more than others?
Um, not really. I mean, there’s been a few vaginas that weren’t the best, but that’s few and far between. Usually the bad ones are not well looked after, or unclean and therefore a bit too potent.
That’s the same with dicks. Like I’ll rarely complain unless it’s dirty.
I always make sure that my dick is washed beforehand. That’s just respect. It’s disrespectful to shove an unclean dick into some girl’s mouth. Like that is just rude.
Yeah, that is just rude. Like, didn’t your parents teach you any manners?!
Yeah, like you wouldn’t serve someone food that you just rubbed in a toilet bowl, would you? I don’t see why it’s any different with a penis.
So Dev, did you watch porn when you were younger?
I started watching porn when I was 15. I was the typical teen with dial-up, clogging up the phone line in my parent’s house by trying to buffer porn videos.
Do you think when you were younger that pornography acted as a form of sexual education for you?
Yes and no. I mean, you definitely watched and learned. For example, porn taught me what a vagina looks like. But I was also aware that a good part of porn is acting. But I think you can learn some basic tips from porn, as long as you understand that porn is sensational, especially when it comes to female pleasure.
Yeah, I definitely got ideas for sex positions from porn, and for dirty talk too. Also, I know I always say this, but porn helped me to feel more confident with my body, because I realized that I enjoyed watching curvy girls in porn more than the “model-type” girls, because curvy girls bounce more while they’re fucking.
That’s actually really interesting, because I’ve always thought about how porn must make people feel more confident about their weird quirks or abnormalities, just because of the vast amount of porn categories there are. Like “amputee tubes,” or “BBW tubes” or whatever. No matter what you look like, there’s someone out there jerking-off to someone like you.
Do you think guys can tell when a girl is faking an orgasm?
I’m pretty confident that I can tell. But I also think that girls haven’t really faked orgasms with me. Although faking happens–I’ve faked orgasms in the past, when I just wasn’t into it. I also have a technique for faking going down on a girl, which involves a lot of saliva and slyly replacing your tongue with your thumb.
One time in high school I thought this guy was fucking me and then I realized that he’d actually just shoved a beer bottle up my vagina. So that was faking it. And now he’s gay actually, according to Facebook.
Back to you. You’re into trans girls right?
I know you’ve used lots of transgender models in the artwork for your album and in your videos. Is this something you were into sexually when you were young, or something you discovered when you were older?
I’m not sure if I was always an attraction I was aware of–maybe I was and it was suppressed somehow? I was speaking to a friend about it recently, and we were discussing how maybe the attraction is something to do with “ultra femininity.” Or at least that was my friend’s point of view. I think I’ve just always been able to see the beauty in everyone, but I know that I am not sexually attracted to “men.” But maybe what I’m attracted to is the femininity of a woman, combined with the strong features and beauty of a man. I mean, I’m just guessing here! I’m not sure it’s good to try and dissect anything that you love, whether it be movies, music or genders.
When was the first time you hooked up with a trans girl?
I was about 20 years old and living in London. I met this beautiful woman in a bar, and I had my suspicions that she was trans, but she was completely stunning, and really nice to talk to. Anyway, we went to her place and I discovered my suspicions were correct. When we started fooling around, at first I was hesitant and not sure I wanted to “go there”–ya know, I was just young, and nervous. (And I should clear up that I had “gone there” with a guy when I was younger as a test, and it just wasn’t my thing, personally.) But anyway, I went there, and of course I liked it, because I liked the person a lot and found her very attractive, aesthetically and mentally.
Speaking of things you’re into, you also love squirters, right?
Yeah. Words can’t explain the excitement and joy I experienced when I slept with my first squirter. I felt like I’d discovered the holy grail of sex.
It was strange–it was almost like sex became a science to me after that. My mind became fully occupied with the prospect of what could happen with a girl, and the possibilities of what I could make her body do. This was an instance where I actually did learn from porn, because I thought about all the squirt porn I’d watched, and the specific hand movements that make a girl project and how to keep it going. I know in some porn videos it’s pee or whatever, but in real life, when it’s not pee, it’s really fucking awesome.
I can’t squirt. Does that mean there’s something wrong with my vagina?
It’s not for me to say what’s wrong or right with your vagina. But maybe you can learn.
Like from a doctor?
Yeah. Or a porn star.
What about anal? Are you into that?
Anal is great, but it’s not really something you want to push for, if you know what I mean. Every time I’ve done it, it’s been…
It’s been very important. But like I always say: Why go for the window if the door’s open?
A window that’s covered in shit.
Exactly. However, that’s not to say climbing through windows can’t be really fun.
Oh Dev Hynes, you’re so wise!