Slutever Rants

This Week in Pics: The Instagram Version

February 6, 2013

Yay, my phone goes online!!! After years of suffering at the hands of my flip phone, I FINALLY gave in and joined the technologically un-retarded masses. (One catalyst for the upgrade was when Sophia Lamar told me that no one at fashion week would want to sleep with me because my phone was so embarrassing.) But wow, having an iPhone is swell! It’s so nice that I no longer have to physically write down directions to where I’m going on a napkin before leaving the house–tragic! Also, the iPhone is clearly a great resource for sending people sexy photos. In recent weeks I’ve figured out that messaging someone a photo of yourself in the doggy-style position, with the caption “cum over,” works wonders. (You’re welcome.) Also, having a smart phone just generally makes me feel more glamorous. Gone are the days when the chefs at the Chinese restaurant where I work point at my phone and laugh amongst themselves. Gone are the days of texting people, “Sorry, can you email me that? My phone can’t receive pics.” Rather, these days my new favorite hobby is to walk into random restaurants and say, “Excuse me, would it be possible for you to charge my iPhone 5?”, even if my battery is completely full. Sigh… I love owning things.

On the down side, I have now become a full-blown phone addict, which is sort of worrying, considering I’ve always been so disgusted by those people who are constantly texting in public. Like, desperate! When I got the phone I rationalized that I was only staring at it so much because it was new and therefore exciting, and that as time passed I would get bored of it. But alas, no. It turns out that over time you just care less and less about being a rude text fiend, and before you know it you’re having lunch with your phone two inches from your face, furiously emailing in landscape mode.

So… yeah. You’re welcome for that insightful rant about what it’s like to have a smart phone. I’m sure you were all wondering. Below are some photos of what I’ve been up to recently (#filtered). Oh, and you should follow me on Instagram, obviously. I’m @karleyslutever  !!!

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21 Comments

  • Reply lala February 6, 2013 at 2:47 am

    Karley,
    You look so beautifully heroin chic, kind of Kate Moss in her hey day

    • Reply karleyslutever February 6, 2013 at 4:35 am

      I’m heroin chic?? Don’t you have to be a waif for that?

  • Reply buzzumfrog February 6, 2013 at 3:57 am

    3rd last picture, is that dog about to sniff his/her (cant tell) crotch? i hope so.

  • Reply Domenic February 6, 2013 at 4:12 am

    hipsterz

  • Reply CandyCuntMag February 6, 2013 at 5:51 am

    Hey Karley, I don’t want to ruin your iPhone love moment (especially since everybody else is already hatin’ enough), but I thought you should maybe know about Instagram’s new privacy policy. I mean, I know hip kids use Instragram these days, but some not-so-hip corporation might be benefitting from you. #justbetweenfriends #eekscapitalism

    http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-205_162-57559759/should-you-be-concerned-about-instagrams-new-privacy-policy/

  • Reply Cordealia February 6, 2013 at 8:27 am

    The last picture is so gorgeous. ~obsessed~

  • Reply Lindsay February 6, 2013 at 8:46 am

    That picture of y’all at Veselka is chic to fuckin death.

  • Reply fapdifap February 6, 2013 at 11:43 am

    fap*

  • Reply Kelly February 6, 2013 at 11:46 am

    Very insightful rant, but I think I’ll stick to my fake Nokia Blackberry…for now

    Oh and love the photos :)

  • Reply jg323 February 6, 2013 at 1:16 pm

    wow that blonde gal with the black coat on standing in front of the red bull case is gorgeous

    • Reply Christie February 6, 2013 at 9:46 pm

      I agree!
      Tea’s a pixie <3

  • Reply Michael Beck February 6, 2013 at 2:11 pm

    karley’
    you look SO bath-salty chic, kinda like marlynn monroe at a pool party!

    • Reply Michael Beck February 6, 2013 at 2:17 pm

      p.s.#U never txt @me no mo!?@wtf?!(boo_woo!!)#bitch.

  • Reply SCR NDLL February 6, 2013 at 2:29 pm

    Thinking of buying a smarter phone too… gotta get one so I can be part of this instagram thing. Also want to buy your vag-shirt but I’m too scared to look like some creep while wearing it in public though… Luv all your stuff, keep it up!!!

  • Reply Alby Sobrist February 6, 2013 at 5:44 pm

    I can’t tell if that is a girl with hairy armpits…and cute boobies, or if that is a dude with bitch tits, and huge nips…is this bad?? am i bad??

  • Reply mightzi February 6, 2013 at 10:05 pm

    yay!

  • Reply stumpy February 6, 2013 at 10:33 pm

    this rules, you rule

  • Reply Jade February 7, 2013 at 1:32 am

    Oh my god Tea is the most amazing person ever. <3

  • Reply oh_hi February 7, 2013 at 4:17 am

    so many alt and meaningful ppl in one instragram feed! cannot compute

  • Reply Q February 9, 2013 at 7:01 am

    Okay I guess I have to get a smart phone now. In a final attempt at justifying my sad flip phone I thought, “Karley doesn’t have a smart phone and she’s still #glamorous,” but now you’ve ruined that for me.

    Ugh, my life is hard. :(

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