What Are You Wearing?

Originally written for Vice Fashion. These are the mutants that inhabit the hell that I live in (aka south London).
.

Is south London cooler than east London? We went to investigate by interviewing some of Walworth Road’s locals.

rapstress

Danielle AKA Guessforever, student

Hey, you look cool. What’s this look all about?
Danielle AKA Guessforever: It’s me, the style of me.

What’s hot right now?
T-shirts and cut jeans. You gotta cut the jeans.

What trends do you hate?
Everyone is trying to be all naked and hot pants and shit these days. Are you from New York?

Yes.
Shit, am I going to be in a magazine in New York?

Well, you’ll be on the website.
I can’t believe I’m going to be in a magazine in New York!

penny-and-maurene

Penny and Maureen, full time mothers

So how would you describe your look?
Penny: Funky but, like, also normal.

I like that. Do you always dress alike?
Maureen: We’ve only just started. We just bought two more matching dresses.

What do you look for in an outfit?
Maureen: Voluminous colours.

Um… your baby just threw up.

Penny: Oh for fuck’s sake, hang on. It wasn’t on our new dresses, was it?

hannah-logic2

Hannah Logic, stylist

How does it feel to be way hotter and more fashionable than all of your neighbours?
Hannah Logic: Wait… I’m not very good with words. What’s a word to answer that? Um… good?

What about “satisfied”?
Whatevs.

Who’s your style icon?
Pippy Long Stocking.

What designers are you into?
Charles Anastase, McQueen, Ann-Sofie Back.

rappers

Dodgy Fella and D. Griz AKA “Famz”, rappers

How would you describe your style?
Dody Fella: Urban. I don’t follow no style, I’m just me.

Are you smoking a joint?
D. Griz: Yeah, you want some?

Sure. I like your anklet, is it Chanel?
D. Griz: No, it’s an ankle monitor. Big Brother, you know.

Did you do something bad? Money laundering? Drug dealing? Murder?
D. Griz: Yeah. Fighting and shit. You know.

That’s hot.

dave

Dave the Stall Guy, entrepreneur

Who is your style icon?
Dave: Nobody. I don’t give a shit about fashion and stuff like that. I’m common.

Why don’t you care about fashion?

Because I ain’t gay!

You’re gay?
No, I’m not gay. Why do all yous kids think I’m gay? Do I look gay?

Yes. Fashion week is right around the corner. Which shows are you excited to see?
Why are you asking me these questions? I’m just your basic sad bastard.

tesco-drinkers1

Assorted friends sitting on a bench outside Tesco, unemployed

Hello. I like your outfits. Who are you wearing?
[Inaudible responses, confused glares]

Uh, what do you think about the way people dress in this neighbourhood?
Woman in black T-shirt: It’s shit!

Why?
This neighbourhood has always been shit. You can’t even go poo without someone knowing!

Yeah, totally.
Your tights is… Your tights is…

Sorry?

Ripped. They is ripped!

Yes, it’s very on trend right now. Are there any trends you’re following this season?
You can’t even go poo without someone knowing. Can’t even go poo.

So you’ve mentioned.

Comments

comments

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to What Are You Wearing?

  1. samantha says:

    this was fuckin hilarious

  2. Fiona says:

    Hahaha this post is amusing. :D

  3. Wow. I dressed just like Hannah Logic in 9th grade.

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