Ask Slutever

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Dear Slutever, I’m 15 and a virgin. I’ve hooked up with a few guys, and I want to go further, but there are some things I’m nervous about. Firstly, I have quite hairy boobs and I’m scared this it’s fucking weird and freaky and that guys will be grossed out! What do I do about them? Also, I’ve masturbated a bit before but never reached orgasm–is that normal? Nervous Down Under

Lots of girls have hair on their boobs–that’s normal. Invest in some tweezers and pluck it out girl! Not an issue.

About jerking off: lots of girls have to practice masturbating, and sometimes it takes a while to learn how to make yourself cum. What happens when you masturbate now? Do you get bored and give up before you orgasm? Sometimes the process just takes a while–like twenty minutes or so–so you have to give yourself time. It sounds obvious, but the more turned on your are, the easier it is to cum. Try looking at something stimulating–porn, a photo you find sexy, etc. Personally, when I’m having a hard time cumming, something that helps is holding my breath. Decreasing the amount of oxygen to your brain makes you feel all giddy and lightheaded, and heightens your sensory pleasures. That’s why erotic aspyxiation is such a big thing–if it didn’t work, there wouldn’t be so many people killing themselves doing it, right? I’m not saying you need to tie a belt around your neck, but next time you’re rubbing your clit, try taking a deep breath and holding it for as long as you can, and see what happens. Also, some girls find it hard to cum using just their hands, so maybe you need some assistance. Make the shower head your best friend. If your shower head isn’t detachable and can’t reach your vagina, another great method is lying down in the bathtub and positioning yourself so that your clit is directly underneath the stream of water coming out of the faucet. The water falling on you feels, like, sooo good. You have to make sure to get the temperature and pressure exactly right though. After all, these are delicate matters.

Dear Slutever, So I have been seeing this lovely boy for two months now, and he recently confessed that he has always wanted to get fucked with a strap-on. I’ve used toys with guys before, but have never done this. I’m thinking of buying him a strap-on as a surprise. But like, is it insulting to buy a small one? I feel like a big one will hurt. How do I make this the most pleasant experience possible? Is there a right way to go about all this? Lynn, OR

To be honest, I don’t have that much experience with this, but I have had some first hand strap-on lessons from a very skilled Dominatrix, so I will share what I know with you.

So… have you guys tried any anal play before? If you haven’t done any basic training then even a small dildo might hurt him. I would suggest buying a dildo that’s very soft, thin (smallest girth possible), and long, so you can adjust the length by putting your hand around the base. You don’t need to give him the whole length, but if you buy a “beginners” type dildo, which is soft, thin and short, it may slip out very easily, making the experience more annoying than fun. Also, make sure you buy a harness that’s adjustable around the waist and legs, this way it will fit you properly, and you will be both comfortable and in control.

Get him ready with your fingers and some lube first. Wear plastic gloves if you want. That may sound surgical and weird, but it also might add to the element of roll play. As for position, doggie style is good for controlling penetration, and it’s also easier for him to lean forward if it starts to hurt. Other than that, the only advice I really have is to take it easy. Since us girls don’t normally hump stuff, our bodies aren’t used to all that aggressive thrusting. The first time I fucked someone with a strap-on was in college. I fucked some drunk girl who kept screaming, “Fuck me with your huge cock!” even though the dildo was really tiny (and hot pink). I threw my back out doing it and could barely walk for four days. Embarrassing?

And one more thing. On the subject of strap-ons, my scary lesbian Dominatrix friend once told me this: “Always remember, ouch is not a safeword and lube is over-rated.” Do with that what you will.



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