Currently Stalking My First Love

December 7, 2009

My first ever sexy urge came when I was just eight years old, the moment I laid eyes on Colin, the wheelchair kid out of The Secret Garden. I didn’t know what sex was exactly, but the instant I saw him—his limp red hair, his sickly skin, his tiny, fucked-up legs—I knew I needed that beautiful, broken boy inside me. So you can imagine my excitement when I recently learned that Colin (real name Heydon Prowse) is now living in London, a mere ten minutes from my house. Oh sweet Colin, once and for all, you will be mine.


It’s difficult to put into words my love for this beautiful, wheelchair bound child. For fifteen years he has remained my one true love. That perfect little body, that high pitched voice, that desperate look in his eyes—icy, fragile, electric. He drives me crazy. However, following his role in The Secret Garden Colin quit acting for good, thus dropping off the public radar and forever preserving himself in my mind as the innocent, freckle-faced boy of my dreams. That was until recently, however, when obsessively Googling his name I discovered that Colin is now living in the same city as myself, working for a local music-based publication. Sometimes life is just so right.


Naturally, the first thing I did once I heard the news was search for him on Facebook. Duh! Once I found him I sent a friend request, which he hastily accepted (a sign???). At first it was weird to see pictures of him looking older (now 28), with facial hair and sans wheelchair, but I soon realized that underneath all that he’s still that same boy I fell in love with. Just because he’s grown some pubic hair doesn’t mean he’s not still my magnificent, sweet, physically impaired little Colin. So in light of this I wrote Colin a letter [text transcribed below image] professing my undying love for him, which I then sent to his place of work.


Colin, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. I have loved you longer than you know. You were the first boy I jerked it to, imagining making sweet hard love to your childlike image. Would you please do me the honor of meeting me in person? Our love deserves the chance to blossom.


Also, I have some questions for you, to help me demystify the enigma that is sweet, tortured Colin. They are as follows.

1. I know you probably get this all the time, but how did you prepare for the role of someone in a wheelchair? Did you practice sitting for hours at a time for months in advance? You were so convincing!

2. What color is your pee? I’ve always imagined it a luminous yellow.

3. Do you like the name Precious? I was thinking it could be cute for our first child.

Ok, well, write back! Yours forever and always and even longer than that, Karley


I also included this pic of me licking an image of him in The Secret Garden. I think it does a good job of physically representing my lust, no?


It’s been two weeks and I have yet to receive a reply. I’m going to give it one more before I give in and just go stand outside his office, crying and screaming his name.

Colin, if you are reading this, I know your Facebook says you’re “In a relationship,” but if you’re ever looking for something on the side, or perhaps even just a casual, no-strings-attached BJ, I’m your girl. Trust me, this is meant to be. I want to breath you, eat you, be one with you. The more I watch you, the more I want you. Oh sweet Colin, do with me what you will. My body is yours for the taking.



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  • Reply KATEMOROSS December 7, 2009 at 8:10 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8Ac06EGDwcGo to the end, when he is interviewing me.

  • Reply Technolustmaxx December 7, 2009 at 9:20 pm

    This is a bit like the love-letters in The Rules Of Attraction, but without the whole 'tragically crossed wires' thing.trustyourtechnolust.blogspot.com

  • Reply iheartdead December 7, 2009 at 10:26 pm

    if this doesnt work out, maybe the actors from "Lorenzo's Oil" ?

  • Reply ANNA.WILSON December 7, 2009 at 10:44 pm

    Oh my gosh. he was my first love too. Although I was torn between fancying Colin and also kinda lusting after Dickon. Im a total groupy and love your blog by the way. Please write a book. It would be amazing.

  • Reply Christina Lindsay December 8, 2009 at 8:38 am

    Your blog's great. I love the film but Dickon was more my type. Have you seen Heydon? I'd recognise him straight away…http://greenreading.blogspot.com/2009/08/heydon-prowse-vs-alan-duncan.htmlI'm a stickler for spelling, you've been spelling his name wrong, maybe that's offended him? and Xanex is Xanax.Love Christina xx

  • Reply aysh December 8, 2009 at 10:41 am

    You're so wrong it's just…wrong. Good luck with your wrongness. All the best! x

  • Reply William December 8, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    Nabokov would be proud,

  • Reply queen elizabeth December 8, 2009 at 1:15 pm

    Oh dear. If you had NOT asked him what colour his pee was/is, he may have just married you. Shucks.

  • Reply emily! December 8, 2009 at 5:13 pm

    what a good movie.. except that i always loved Dickon and Martha and was pissed when Colin lusted after Mary. Pleaseee, Colin, Mary deserves better..

  • Reply AnswerDog December 9, 2009 at 10:02 am

    http://shootingpeople.org/img_files/profile/3299_original.jpgDAMN, he got HOT. I totally understand your obsession. In fact, I'd probably send the same letter as well. You forgot send him a nudie of yourself, though…

  • Reply Leonard Miller February 12, 2010 at 11:52 pm

    anyone who started a love letter to me with the opening lines of "lolita" deserves every damn thing I have to offer

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