Sarah’s Second Life Avatar
Sarah is a 25 year old girl from New Jersey. We met on a sex fetish forum and digitally bonded over our love of being tied up. As we got to know each other better I discovered that Sarah suffers from a rare form of Dwarfism, that she is a quadriplegic and is permanently on a ventilator. Because of her condition, for most of her life Sarah has had minimal contact with the outside world. In 2004 she joined Second Life. (If you’re my mom and don’t know what that is, welcome to 2003.) Since then Sarah has given up real life almost completely, choosing to function only online. In SL she has a career as a successful model, she’s into kink and BDSM, and she’s currently looking for a man to spend the rest of her life with. I talked to Sarah about the reality of living completely outside reality.
How does your disability affect your day to day life?
I need assistance to do everything. I am a quadriplegic, however I have enough movement in one hand to use a mouse, so I can use the internet by myself.
What is a normal day for you like?
I get up, get washed for the day, go on SL, eat lunch and dinner, log out and go to bed. My world is SL; mainly the only things I do in the real world are life essential.
You’ve told me that you are looking for a boyfriend, but only in Second Life, right?
Yeah, I’m looking for a relationship in SL but with real life emotions. But I’m also open to texting, instant messaging and sharing pictures. I’m over casual dating and want to find someone who I can spend the rest of my life with in SL. I’m extremely romantic! Due to circumstances, a real life partner is not right for me, and I don’t see myself ever being open to that.
Have you ever been in love?
Yes, I was in love with many people, all on SL. I’ve had several relationships.
When did you lose your virginity?
I am a virgin in real life. I lost my SL virginity in 2004. I remember it being terrible. He mainly only used poseballs.
What are poseballs?
It’s just a way of expressing yourself in SL—they allow you to touch and stuff—but it’s the easiest way with the least effort involved.
I see, he sounds like a dick. Losing your V-card rarely lives up to the hype. Anyway, you’re really active on the fetish forum where we met. Do you consider yourself a fetishist?
Yes, definitely. I am only submissive sexually; I like to be Dominated. I like being tied up, romance and passion. I’m into the softer side of Dominance and submission. Sometimes it’s called ‘sensual BDSM.’
You’re also a member of the ‘Kink and Wicca’ forum.
Yeah, I’m Roman Catholic but I’m currently studying to be a Wiccan. I have been interested in witchcraft since I was a child. I want to help people.
In your experience, are people more promiscuous in SL than real life? Is sex less sacred in the digital world?
I would say yeah, more sex in SL. There is more access to different kinds of people and there are no physical consequences in Second Life. So, you know, no AIDS.
What was your life like before Second Life?
Well I used to be able to walk with a walker in real life. But then I got pneumonia and had to be put on a ventilator full time, so I can’t anymore. Back then I watched TV, played computer games and played in other virtual environments. Even before SL my life was lived almost entirely in my home.
Do you dream in real life of Second Life?
I dream in both actually.
What do you like to do in SL besides kinky stuff?
I like to go dancing and shopping. And I like to work–I’m a model, a hostess, a writer, and I manage a restaurant. I work at least one of the jobs everyday. Although I don’t make any real life money, which is possible to do on SL.
How is your modeling career going?
My modeling career is going okay. I have been a model since 2004. I belong to two agencies, and I cast for shows occasionally. The most exciting thing so far was when I was a Moda Fashion Spotlight model. Moda Fashion Spotlight is a show on Treet TV, which is an entertainment network that exists inside SL.
I know they have a SL’s Next Top Model, right? Would you ever be interested in entering that? I’m obsessed with America’s Next Top Model.
As of right now, SL Next Top Model does not interest me.
Do you model your SL avatar on your real features at all?
I have off and on. I have shoulder length brown hair in real and Second Life, and blue eyes.
Do you think people could find you attractive in real life?
Well I don’t find myself attractive, so I don’t see how others could, no.
Are there things in life you want that SL can’t provide you with?
No, none. Second Life is enough, along with email, etc.
What is your ultimate goal?
To be the number one model in Second Life, and to find an honest, loyal man who can be strong for me and who is willing to guide and teach me, and support our mutual goals. I’m looking for my forever.
aww this is cute
probably the lest judgmental approach to this subject i've ever come across
Is the title really supposed to be "Sarah's Second LIE"? Maybe a typo? Or maybe I'm just daft.
Fascinating. Somehow this blog has transitioned from a really personal diary to "Freaks, Internet Edition" and managed to stay interesting??plz keep posting this blog is my life
But in what way can you FEEL through SL? Does materiality mean nothing then? Hmmm. This is by far the "freak" (srsly, there are so many people glued to virtual communities that it's the people who aren't who are freakish these days) that has been most interesting.
this is sad and touching and interesting and wonderful
Sarah sounds really likable and fun :) This is a great post
I can't tell if this makes me happy or sad. Great though!
super interesting post. thank you.
after i read about sarah i tried it, second life, i mean i downloaded it, and then watched as my poor macbook pro almost went into meltdown running it, and i changed my hair and body once inside SL to look more pathetic and bloated like me (decadence does that). then i went to paris in the early 1900's and amsterdam like i guess… right now, but they were all empty, there were a couple of girls dressed like prostitutes just standing around near central station, and i guess they were prostitutes, i went over and stared at them while trying to communicate but none of them moved (zombie prostitutes?) then a big black monster pointy thing flew around over me and i went 'home'.i didn't find sarah on second life, nor anyone really, just a lot of empty space, and a japanese guy you could hear through his mike asking questions, but then he said it was boring and announced he was going to leave, then he left. i don't know how anyone could live in second life, but i guess they already do in facebook, i guess it's better than nothing. i get migraines and all that turning and bad graphics leave me 'stoned' (not in a good way).i prefer my 'real' life, of seclusion and exile, in my bedroom. good luck sarah.
I read a thing about the owner of second life about 5 years ago, he is practically assimilated, he started as a computer nerd in silicone valley, his dream is for the Internet to turn into second life, so to go online you will be free roaming the net… Crazy but not too far off really, there was also a bit on a woman that gave up her real job to become a second life entrepreneur, she wrote the script to top hats and penguins and makes a genuine living, you can change the money up and it even has an exchange rate!! Honestly I’ve never felt so in tune with a total stranger, I’ve spent the last 4 years trolling and now that I have read your blog I havnt done anything else but catch up on your exploits and shenanigans, feeling direct correlations to things I have done.. To be lame you are awesome Karley