Heartbreak: It’s Harder Than You Think

This week’s Breathless column for Vogue contains some potentially embarrassing word-vomit about my semi-recent breakup… and some notes on heartbreak in general. You can read it HERE :)



18 Replies to “Heartbreak: It’s Harder Than You Think”

  1. Dear Karley
    I found this quote today by C.S. Lewis – There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind. I hope this will help? xxoo

  2. I completely understand what you mean; the first three months are the worst, but after that, you learn how to be by yourself and HAPPY by yourself without having to depend on the relationship… and, as cheesy as it is, that is what ultimately will make you come out of the other side a better person than you were.

    Additionally, what’s the name of the article that your friend sent you?

  3. It’s true, heartbreak/breakups are like a hangover, they only get better with time, no matter how much greasy food you eat or coconut waters you drink. Be as miserable as you want, within a time limit. It’s better than denying your feelings and being even more miserable.

    This is super cheesy but there’s an npr ep about being dumped. Google it. You will totally relate.

  4. wow that was so beautifully written. i’ve recently (kinda?) been dumped and this is the first thing, of all the things i’ve read or the things that friends have said to me, that i can actually relate to. Thankyou for that xx

  5. I had my first experience of being dumped three months ago and this text is SO accurate in describing what I’ve been going through.. it’s somehow very comforting to read. Thank you for that.

  6. For me it just became worse within the first year. There IS a progression but its happening over years not months is my experience of first really painfull breakup. I’m sorry.

  7. Good post, well written as usual. I found your blog 08/09 hungover staying in bed getting over a break up. Read every post, your life was such a good alternative to think about other than the horrible stuff, thank you. Sorry to here you feel that way.

  8. :( just now reading this. i went through the same thing last year. it does get better… i am finally getting to the point where i can even think about dating someone new without spiralling into a deeper pit of depression, and my self esteem is back on track. it was miserable for a few months in there though, and other people don’t relate unless they are going through the same thing. if you ever need a sympathetic ear i believe you still live a block away from me. hit me up anytime- i have been a fan of yours since your squatting days, but i’m a very laid back person and have no expectations other than neighborly friendship :). otherwise, chin up girl! you rock!

  9. Really loved this. When my first serious girlfriend broke up with me I really didn’t know what to do with myself. I wasted months on trying to ‘be a better person’ in order to win her back…ugh!
    What I’m trying to say is, don’t waste your energy thinking about how things would have been better if you had behaved differently because what’s done is done. Just take the time to feel sad and soon enough you’ll feel a little better and this will just be another opportunity to grow as a person. Believe me when I say that you will look back on this and laugh.

  10. Jup, I’m feeling this. I’m totally feeling this. I even think I know what article you’re talking about. That’s probably ’cause at this moment I have a Google search history list that mainly states things such as “How to get your boyfriend back?”, “How to survive heartbreak?”, “How long does heart ache take?” up till “Why does he have a new girlfriend after one month.”
    There’s no denying. It just sucks. Big time. Major time. People tell you “time heals”, “you’ll get over it”, “he wasn’t worth it anyway”. But the only conclusion I have is that it just really really really sucks monkey balls. Big time.

  11. I’m currently in this phase and I could relate to any single of your words. Experiencing this huge gap between theory (“the first three months are the hardest”, “I’m an independent woman”, “I’ll be able now to more focus on my art”) and practice (I’m just a piece of shit). Thank you for posting it, it was very comforting -strangely more than the words I had from some close friends. I hope you will get through it and that it won’t take too long.

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