the hurricane is fucking up my sex life
i want sex but the only thing in my apartment is a tuna melt
“i feel bad”
i bought coffee with change from my couch: help me i’m poor vol.1
chinese people laugh at my phone
fat and sassy: a way of life
lesbian nightmare festival
if i check-in on foursquare can i get half off my pizza? – help me i’m poor vol.2
who moved my trash pile?
do you have a bag of chips in your purse and how far away are you from me?
triple meat salad
i feel insecure about my arms
why is this fucking person standing so close to me?
my gym gives out free guacamole… are they trying to sabotage me?
girl dies in ferocious scissoring accident
homeless people think i’m lady gaga
no, YOUR pizza has AIDS
ode to carb relapse
my weave won’t be caught with some stuffed-crust bullshit
maybe i’ll do some leg lifts
hurricane causes multiple cases of fatal grindr withdrawal
no, that’s a rash
i was attacked by some idiot from out here in the projects
i told my stomach if it gets any bigger it has to start chipping in for bills and paying for its own health insurance
eating my feelings: vol.7
there’s an alarm going off inside my lizard brain
what if my ingrown hair…