Huff-Post Live: The Pull-Out Generation

Today I talked on a panel on the Huffington Post Live about ‘the pull-out method.’ The conversation was sparked by a recent article in New York mag titled “The Pull-Out Generation,” where the writer was surprised to find out how many young women are using this method of contraception over regular birth control. Joining me on the panel were sex educator and author of How To Be A Great Lover, Lou Paget; founder of The Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health, Megan Andelleaux; journalist Amanda Marcotte; and of course, the lovely host Ricky Camilleri.



17 Replies to “Huff-Post Live: The Pull-Out Generation”

  1. As a sex educator, I think it’s incredible important to have these discussions that actually focus on sex-ed as a viable method of birth control insofar as a ton of people and their partners are using this method. Great discussion here. Thanks for the post!

  2. does the string of your mirena ever poke the men you sleep with?

    as someone who has gotten pregnant from pulling out and is still stupid enough to keep using that method, i am finally heavily considering getting an IUD.

    1. The strings of the IUD are really short, just poking out of the cervix and they soften after a couple of days of insertion. The only way you feel it is if you stick your finger up there and they’re not sharp, just like floss or something.
      I am so an IUD advocate, I have the non-hormonal one and it’s awesome.

      1. I have the non-hormonal one and it is painful. It was very painful for 4 months after I had it inserted. Nearly fainted on numerous occasions from the pain and I do not faint. My period used to be not a big deal and now it is a monthly battle. Not as painful as in those first months, but certainly intermittently (extremely) painful.

        Not so painful as getting pregnant at 24 tho- so I’ve stuck it out.

        Take that info as you will.

        1. Yeah I’ve heard those are painful. The Mirena has hormones but they are localized in your uterus which basically means they’re not fucking with the balance of your body. Or, they are fucking with it less, anyway. I def recommend it.

  3. i also kind of want to point of that sometimes when people “fail to use the pull out method” it isn’t just because of accidents/men not know when they’re gonna orgasm, but also because in the heat of the moment our fucked up brains think its sexy to say “i want your steaming hot cum inside of me”

  4. The so-called pull-out “method” doesn’t even qualify as a method of birth control. It’s more like Russian Roulette. Do it long enough, and eventually you’ll end up with a baby.

    What bothers me is when couples do the pull-out thing and just decide to keep whatever accidental baby they have. That’s not how childbearing is supposed to work! It shouldn’t be a crap shoot where you inevitably get knocked up and passively decide to keep it. It should be discussed and planned for on every level–emotional, financial and physical. Having a baby is an active decision, not a default reality!

    As for the effectiveness of the pull-out BS, my friend recently got preggers using this method. We all warned her it would happen. Now she’s a single mother raising a little boy on her own while going to nursing school and working a part time job. My little sister was also a result of this half-assed form of birth control. We love her to pieces, but it tore my family apart at the time. All because my parents were ignorant about how reproduction works. People who know better have no excuse.


    1. This topic uh uh .. when I met my ex-boyfriend we had unprotected sex.. I was about to stop with the pill, I basiclly suck at being constant and I was lazy to go every month to my doctor, so I told him ,we must use condoms cause pulling-out doesnt work an I have no money for abortions. And he was all about dont worry I control, I did never cum inside girls .. bla bla bla. And I was like , yeah bullshit you get me preggers you pay for the abortion!!! And he was like , uh yeah im french we cross the border you got a free abortion and we can visit paris I have family there. I dont konw if Im lucky or unlucky I never got pregnant in 5 year using the pull-out method and I HAVE NEVER EVER BEING TO FUCKING PARIS

    2. Pfft! Listen to yourself. stop with the finger wagging.
      Babies are born under all circumstances. Deal with it and stop trying to shame people for making certain decisions.

  5. Anyone else roll their eyes when someone describes them self as a “sex educator”?

    Oh really, you’re a sex educator? I’m a Swag Coach, my friend here is Mash-Up Artist who also treats people with damaged auras with crystals.

    1. Uh, just like there are Math teachers and English teachers, there are folks with a great degree of preparation in the field of sexuality and education. It’s not just about how to put a condom on and what emergency contraception to take.

  6. I love Megan! I emailed her once after hearing her on NPR about sex ed. My fiance and I are trying to start up an art/community center and one of my main goals is to have a space for people to learn more about sex, explore gender issues/happenings, ways to connect, etc. She was very inspiring to me.

    I’ve been using the pull-out method for 7 years now and have never taken a Plan B pill nor had an abortion – but some are more fertile than others and get preggers even on bc. I would say if you start using the pull-out method, make sure the person you’re doing it with is responsible enough to get out when he gets off and smart enough to know when that is. But I love it so much bc it makes not having a child just as actively the man’s responsibility as it is the woman’s. Why should you sacrifice your health to be pleasured? Also, there’s an attractive logic to letting someone come in you only when you’re ready to have a child. Just be creative and you won’t miss out on anything – the pull-out can be a great opportunity to try different sexy things :))

  7. the pull out method doesn’t require the use of quotations.
    you don’t need to shame people for making decisions that you are not comfortable with.
    to the commenter who is talking about children requiring all this planning, blah blah blah, that is some middle class bullshit.
    people everywhere have babies, no matter their financial physical romantic, whatever situations.
    babies are not born in vaccums, there is no such thing as the ideal situation for anyone to be born into, everything is in flux and the best thing you can ever do is to take it all as it comes and make decisions that work for you along the way…

    i’ve used the pull out method for five years and it has suited me just fine. two years of that time i have been in a long term relationship, the rest i have not been monogamous. i follow my cycle, can feel when i am ovulating (and i spot a lil bit), and this has worked for me.

    again, fuck you for trying to shame women for the choices they make with their own bodies.
    i’m pretty sick of getting flack about this from lady friends who are all into the IUD and i’m tired of saying i use this method in a way that is a little sheepish because i have to listen to someone tell me how i am doing something bad. suck my left one.

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