Recently I’ve been toying with the idea of becoming a stripper. The inspiration came when I was in Las Vegas a couple weeks ago: some friends and I went to a strip club–my first since I was sixteen–and I was so in awe of the strippers and their ability to use their bodies to hypnotize an entire room that I could barely speak. And then suddenly, as I was slipping a $5 bill into a stripper’s thong, I thought Oh my god, THIS is my true calling. THIS is where I belong! It was like a revelation or whatever. So then when I got back to New York I excitedly applied to a few strip clubs. However, when it came time to audition, I got cold feet. The thing is, I know I’m good at taking my clothes off (duh), but I have no clue how to pole dance. Or really how to dance at all. I felt I needed a mentor.
So… I decided to enlist the help of my favorite sex blogger, Sugar Tits. You probably already know Sugar Tits from her anonymous slut blog where she writes about her various S&M relationships, giving out blow-jobs in the public bathrooms of Milan, and (more recently) her life as a stripper. She even wrote about having orgasms mid-striptease… wtf? She’s also written some stuff for Slutever, like this article about her Master buying her her first dog collar, and this article about getting into the stripping business. Below you can read my discussion with her about stripping, romance, and why being treated like shit can be such a turn on.
Why did you decide to become a stripper?
Sugar: Well, last October I went out to a strip club with some friends and one of the strippers invited me onstage, and after dancing to “Marry The Night” I realized how lolz and fun it could be. And also being treated like a whore is a real turn on for me.
Where did you work?
It was this really shitty club way out in the ghetto of Milan where they claim Led Zeppelin went once–they call it “Lap Zeppelin”. It was the trashiest, most perfect strip club I could have ever dreamed of. I thought they were going to make me audition, but when I showed up the guy was just like “OK you’ve got small tits but a nice face and you know how to talk so you’re fine, you start tomorrow.”
Were you nervous that you were going to suck at it?
So nervous! Right after that I went home and watched all these Lindsay Lohan stripping videos to try and prepare myself, because I was clueless, and the next night I went in and all these girls were flipping around on poles and I was freaking out. Then eventually the DJ called me onstage (I used my real name because I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to), but I didn’t realize that the DJ actually directs you–like first he tells you when you can strip, and then when to take your bra and underwear off–so I went up and just took everything off at once and was sashaying around and touching myself or whatever. Then a few minutes later I got bored and walked offstage, and the other girls were like, “Bitch, you have to finish your fifteen minute set!” so then I had to retreat back to the stage like an idiot.
LOL
Yeah. And I also didn’t realize that when you get offstage you have to go to the dressing room and put your clothes back on, so I was just prancing around naked until someone yelled at me. So that was embarrassing. The first night was kind of a disaster. But then little by little it becomes easier, and drinking makes it more fun, and stripper shoes are amazing and help you to slide around. By the end I was at least Lindsay Lohan ‘I Know Who Killed Me’ level.
The reason I think I’d like stripping is because the power dynamic seem so hot. Like you’d think the guys are in control because they are paying you to be the whore and take your clothes off, but then the act of paying to see naked girls is sort of pathetic in itself, and the fact that they clearly want to fuck you and can’t means you are really the one in control… ya know?
Yeah, exactly! It’s actually really complex and enlightening, because as you know I’m really submissive sexually, but stripping was the first time in my life that I actually felt sexually dominant. Spending a night in a room full of men that are willing to pay to just look at you naked is such an ego trip. I felt more powerful in that job than I ever have, but also more fucking degraded at the same time–it was amazing, the perfect mix of strong female and slut.
So is it true that you would cum while stripping? That’s so crazy! Kitten Natividad–one of Russ Meyer’s vixens–who I interviewed recently also talked about cumming while stripping; she became famous for it. She said she loved watching guys lust after her.
Honestly Karley, I was cumming like five times a night, it was amazing. And that’s crazy for me because I almost never cum during sex. Mostly I would cum while giving dances in the private rooms, so like I’d be dancing and touching myself but some gross man with a huge boner would be touching my butt at the same time, so it was perfect.
That’s insane. So can you pole dance? I recently got an audition at a strip club but I didn’t go because I was scared I was going to fall off the poll like an idiot.
No I can’t, but it didn’t really matter because in Italy it’s more about seeing a girl naked than about watching her dance. It’s very classy here! In Italy the guys can do whatever they want to strippers–they can lick your pussy or put their fingers in your ass or whatever, they just have to keep their pants on.
Whoa. Most clubs here girls don’t even get fully nude–they wear thongs.
I’m sure you can find some trashy, totally nude place where they won’t care if you can dance. That’s the thing: if it’s more about nudity and touching then they care less about the dancing, and vice-versa.
What was your favorite type of guy to dance for?
The gross ones, for sure. My favorite client was a disgusting old bald guy in a wheelchair. Not that wheelchairs are gross, but definitely the most unlikely male prospects were my favorites–like the really fat guys who you know never get laid. The young hot guys who would come to party would normally be jackasses. And also it was like, if I wanted to fuck a hot guy then I’d just go to a bar and find a hot guy, ya know?
Were you making a lot of money?
OMG, so much money.
So why did you quit?
OK, so I told everyone that I quit stripping because it wasn’t fun anymore, and I haven’t even written about this on Sugar Tits yet, but the truth is that I liked it so much that I had to cut myself off. Like Karley, at the end of it, I was giving out blow-jobs to guys in the private rooms for free because it turned me on so much. Like if I really liked a guy, or if a guy was super pathetic and disgusting, I would just suck his dick. I felt like such a whore, it was so amazing. But the next day I would feel bad about myself, firstly because I was being “unprofessional” or whatever, and also because the whole club could get in trouble if I got caught. And as I started doing it more and more I started having so many personal issues with it that I had to quit. I was afraid I was becoming obsessed with stripping.
Whoa.
But seriously it was one of the best experiences of my life and I have no regrets. I think I’ll start again after I graduate from university, but I think if I’d kept going the way I was I would have ended up getting into trouble.
So going back to when you said you almost never cum during sex…
Yeah, it’s hard for me. Like I’ve fucked about 100 guys and only my ex-Master–let’s call him Jake–and a handful of others have made me cum.
How did your relationship with Jake start?
Well the story is really interesting and kind of romantic. Basically, I always knew there was something missing in my sex life, and I think that’s probably why I was so promiscuous–because I was “searching for something” or whatever. Then one day about two years ago Jake came up to me at a party and asked if I wanted to model in a shoot for this art/porn magazine that he publishes. So I said yes, and a week later we were at the shoot and I was lying there being fingered by the male porn star, and then out of nowhere Jake walked up and just slapped me in the face. It was the first time anyone had ever slapped me and I loved it. And then that whole night we were making out, and on our second date I asked him, “How did you know I would like that, considering I didn’t even know?” And he was like, “I could see it in your eyes, you’re just that type of girl–you just needed someone to slap you.”
Wow, that is romantic. Tell me about the first time you guys had sex.
It was at a swingers club; he brought me as his date. It was this really disgusting place full of young and old couples drinking, and then he took me downstairs and there were a bunch of differently themed rooms and a dungeon, and we fucked on a bed while these gross guys watched us.
And you ended up having a pretty intense Dom/sub relationship with him, right?
Yeah, I was his slave. He introduced me to that whole world, and it changed my life. The only fights Jake and I ever had were about where “the line” was. See, I wanted there to be specific times when I was “the slut”, but the rest of the time I wanted him to respect me, but it’s hard to draw that line with guys because they’re mostly dumb.
So how did you work it out?
He ended up buying me a dog collar, so whenever I had the collar on I was “his”, and whenever I didn’t he couldn’t control me.
Were you in love with him?
Yeah, I became totally obsessed with him and our breakup really destroyed me. And I hate to admit that because it makes me sound so helpless and weak, but for him I was. I guess there’s always that one person who you’re just a dumbass for. Sometimes I regret Jake being the first guy I had that type Dom/sub experience with, because I think I wasn’t good enough at it yet. When I look back I think, God, I should have been more patient, or not been so needy, or not cried when he whipped me a hundred times or whatever…
Yeah, but if you were more patient or didn’t give a shit then it would have made his restraint less effective. The fact that you wanted him so badly was a huge part of your dynamic.
That’s true.
When I was younger I used to fuck this really dominant older guy, and I swear he liked not fucking me more than he liked fucking me, just because he loved watching me beg. He loved to see me desperate. I remember once he invited me over, and I hadn’t seen him in weeks and was so excited to fuck him, and when I got to his house he tied me up and left me there for hours while he went and did some work, and then when he finally came back he just jerked-off on me and then sent me home. It was SO frustrating, but to be honest I’ve been masturbating to that memory for like four years now.
OMG Jake was the same! He would only fuck me like once a month! And I’d be like “Please, please!” and he’d be like “Shut up, bitch.” But you know, they do it for you. They want to fuck you, but they know that you want to feel like a greedy whore, and that you want some man to be like “You can’t have this cock!” because that’s so opposite to what actually happens on a daily basis.
So true.
And after he ties you up and makes you wait forever, when he finally does come and fuck you it’s the most amazing thing ever, because you want it so badly.
So, so true. Gosh, mind games really work, huh?
I hate to say it but they really do. I think I told you this once, but your story just reminded me of the time that Jake invited me over his house for dinner, and I was all excited, like, “Aww he’s cooking for me! Wow!” And so I showed up and he just tied me up under the kitchen table and made me wait there while he ate by himself, and kicked me under the table the whole time.
#hot
But the things about these sorts of relationships is that you need to know that the Dom actually cares about you in order for it not to fuck you up. There’s a fine line between role play and real life.
I think the idea of being submissive is a turn on for a lot of people, and you can fantasize or watch porn with that dynamic, but once you actually experience good S&M sex it changes your sex life forever. Like after fucking that older Dom guy I was scared I’d never be able to enjoy normal sex again.
Exactly! It ruins your life kind of! That’s why I was so hung up on Jake for long–because of the sex. Since Jake, what used to be “good in bed” just doesn’t cut it anymore. It sucks! And I’ll ask guys to slap me and stuff, but they just get really freaked out. We are the minority I think. Like it’s surprising how many guys just want to have vanilla sex, even on a dirty one night stand. It’s like, “Dude, I’m not your wife, I’m some bitch that you picked up on the street that you’re never going to see again and I’m begging you to beat the shit out of me and you won’t do it!”
What is wrong with everyone actually?
Also, if you have to ask someone to spank you it kind of defeats the purpose. Like in theory if you ask a guy to pull your hair he should tell you to shut the fuck up and then do something a lot worse.
You should give men lessons on how to abuse women.
Lol… I wouldn’t say no.
<3 <3 <3 I love you both.
Lolz @ not knowing who she is. Sugar isn’t great at hiding her identity. But yeah this interview is rad.
love is the ultimate mind game. you chicks are making it way more harder, dirtier, and weirder than it ever needs to be. get your head in whatever you fool yourself into thinking true love is and try running with that. or not.
and duh, every’body knows who sugar tits is
OMG this was so awesome! I wish I was hanging out with you guys so I could tell you about the time my man pissed in my travel mug in order to teach me a lesson for leaving it at his house all the time. I drove home with a mugful of his piss and a shot of his cum for an upcoming sissy scene and I got pulled over by the cops for rolling through a stop sign. Yikes! What can I say, I was dick drunk.
The next time I left my mug over there, I was worried he would shit in it, but instead when he handed it to me, inside was my bronze collar. Awwww!
I’m a Gizmodo reader and, as you no doubt know, they’ve got one of your stories on their blog at the moment. Ignoring the questionable relevance of a website that focuses on sex/fetishes being featured in (what is supposed to be) a technology blog, I gave it a read and decided to visit your website to see what’s what. I feel that since I’ve been conned by Gizmodo into thinking that your content would be of interest to me, that I have earned the right to appraise your work.
The content on your website is not good. I’ve spent some time reading up to page 13, and I’ve found very little quality material, unless anyone considers images with some man’s tiny penis in an ant’s nest good viewing. I can see that you’re desperate for attention, and the tone of most of your content mirrors a lot of the insecure whining you find on some of the shadier pages of Reddit. I don’t know how you’ve managed to coax Gizmodo into promoting you, but you obviously have your foot in the door of Gawker. Nobody will be recommending this site to others out of genuine delight.
you honestly need to calm down.
what’s wrong with people writing about their sex life? it must have intrigued you or you wouldn’t have come to her website.
we live in a day and age where self-promotion and having your own niche gets you success. karley writes about her life, in her own way and you shouldn’t be here trying to take that away from her. there’s criticism and then there is rudeness.
<3
I have no problem with the topic, or in fact self-promotion. At no point did I suggest that I do. In fact, I can’t say disinterested by the some of the bizarre things this website attempts to discuss. What I’m saying is that the quality, regardless of topic, is poor. So that I’m clear and I don’t cause you any further confusion, I’m saying that it’s badly done relative to other websites offering content on similar topics.
Your irrelevant, slightly stupid shotgun response to my post, combined with your attempt to patronise me tells me what kind of readers slutever.com attracts. Ones which lack the ability to read and critically analyse what they’re seeing.
As a slutever reader I am hurt :{@ jacobharry. I am actually touching myself while I read your comment over and over again and again. Mmm that was goood
^^^^^^^
LOL @ the perfect reply above to JacobHarry.
FUCK ME JACOB
FUCK ME HARDER
Good job Karley. You’ve managed to attract an audience with the same quality of comments as that found on Youtube. “I’m touching myself”. “Fuck me harder”. This is the kind of person you attract when your content is a joke. Bye all.
Bye! xo
Perfect example of how everybody sees the world through their own lens. I love everything I’ve read on this site.
I really don’t understand why anyone rags on this blog. From the moment I first found it I’ve been obsessed. I stayed up all night reading page after page. It’s nice to see a little bit of the “weirder” parts of me represented by someone who’s smart and eloquent.
I started seeing a guy who was more years older than me that I’ve been alive and we’ve had a sub/dom relationship, though not to the extent of Sugar Tits and Jake. I’m in my early 20s and I haven’t have anyone to relate to when it comes to this relationship so I appreciate the quality of this content and I have already recommended this site to others with genuine delight. The site has also encouraged me to push my sexual and lifestyle boundaries which has been really rewarding.
Karley, you’re doing good things by writing and producing this site.
I do have a few helpful (hopefully) criticisms. The first is edit more carefully (I see a lot of typos and you’re just too professional for that shit girl.)
Secondly, I feel like in your Vice videos you play the “dumb blonde.” It always bugs me when girls play dumb when they’re obviously not and trust me, you’re obvious not. You’re so confident, up front and kick ass about who you are in ever other respect and I think you’re a role model to more people than you know. Basically, I don’t think you should hide how smart you are from anybody.
what would your bf think if you went into stripping?
It’s like, “Dude, I’m not your wife, I’m some bitch that you picked up on the street that you’re never going to see again and I’m begging you to beat the shit out of me and you won’t do it!” -this statement proves men are enormously smarter than women also that the world was much more peaceful when they stayed inside the kitchen…
yea really, right? like, tell me you love me and tell me to cook you something and to stay in the kitchen. that’s enough weirdness right there.
Wow that was a really bad joke, right?
sort of but not really. i mean think about it. the “old school” traditional roles for women and men were of dominance and submission, i.e. a man went out into the world and the woman stayed home. to me, that very lifestyle is bizarre enough — no need to make it even more strange and absurd — no need to have to take my clothes off and masturbate or cum with strangers in wheelchairs in creepy, dark places. to me it is a perversion; a take on a life/world that is already perverted enough: the dom male goes out into the world, the sub female stays home. why in the world does it have to get any weirder than this?
if women really were smarter, they would realize it and use this to their advantages.
pretty sure the first time you linked to her tumblr you used her real name, and you’ve linked to her other blog before too… we know who she is!
this is so beautiful.
sugartits and slutever forever
You think I’m just gonna hit you in the off chance that hopefully you’re into that shit? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4hNaFkbZYU
I KNOW WHO SHE IS TO! LOVE YOU BOTH. FOLLOWING YOU SLAVISHLY :*
” It’s like, “Dude, I’m not your wife, I’m some bitch that you picked up on the street that you’re never going to see again and I’m begging you to beat the shit out of me and you won’t do it!” ”
^^^^ THIS so much.
This was a great read!
It’s pretty clear that suger tits is tea. :P
Whos sugar tits?
https://www.facebook.com/teahacic
why are you baiting so hard tho?
For some reason I just read the last bit. I think it’s hard for a lot of guys to get dom/sub because we’re told that it’s wrong. If I hadn’t met the girl I’m seeing right now I would still be vanilla all the way. The best part is that once you start pushing boundaries, you just want to keep going and going.
Thanks so much for this article Karley and Sugar Tits! I just began a sub/ dom relationship and it is nice to hear you both talk about it so freely. I just want to shout “I’m not alone!” or crazy because I like to be dominated.
To those who have critical things to say about this particular lifestyle choice, all I can say is that if you don’t understand or know what it feels like to experience pleasure from such acts then your scope of understanding clearly just gets hazy way before that. Also, it’s consensual so get a grip.
Love you Slutever
you guyyyys! <3
So relieved that people haven’t taken this in a ‘omg you’re so antifeminist you clearly hate women because no real woman likes being slapped around by men’. There’s a difference between simply having a sexual preference for more hardcore stuff, and being genuinely ‘abused’… people just don’t seem to recognise it a lot of the time (frustratingly…)
so are you chicks such sluts that there’s no possibility that you could actually even be raped? like if some stranger put a gun to your head, pulled you by the hair of the head and then slapped you to the ground and fucked the shit out of all your holes, you would like this? or is it that you would only like it if you knew the person? or if you had an agreement to play games or roles with this dom man? because really, there are situations where this happens IRL and most women/men find it a crisis and traumatizing.
i obviously don’t get it.
some rape victims do get turned on. but no, you need to be infatuated with the “rapist”/”abuser”. you need to know he loves/likes/values you. and then when he treats you as if he doesn’t, it spins your head around and you get an adrenaline high that is totally addictive.
Um, no. The point is that she has the power to allow herself to be abused. She’s still in control because it was her choice to surrender to the guy, but in effect she still has the power to leave/stop it/etc. She wants it to happen.
In a real rape situation, the person is being forced into sex against his/her will. No matter if he/she gets turned on during it (which is common), he or she still does not want it to happen.
Basically the main thing here is that in the sub/dom situation there is consent and trust, whereas in rape there is not.
“has the power to allow herself to be abused”
this does not make sense
in fantasy land, maybe – but in reality, this does not make sense. i like to be flipped over and held by the neck and hair pulled just as much as the next rough guy, but abused, eh, whatever
the thing is is that a woman in a southern mountain state in the US can find this FOR REAL in her own life quite frequently. maybe these girls had such a vanilla upbringing that they crave something so unfamiliar because it takes them from all the perfectness of their parents. also, i think ultimately we as humans like to go as far away from the source of reality as possible in order to experience EXISTENCE. think jeffrey dahmer and eating humans. this would be an extreme form of this.
eh
Attempts at anti-porn legislation in the 80s were based on the grounds that it was degrading not only for women-in-porn, but for women as a group. That all depends on a conception of the sort of sex women “ought” to want to be having, which is a classic feminist issue. Attempts to ban pornography were unsuccessful in part because they looked to politicize something that shouldn’t have been.
When you talk about women experiencing sexual violence FOR REAL, you’re talking about a very very different thing. For one, rape isn’t about sexuality – it is about violence. Dominance and submission is, I think, older than politics. It’s a more abysmal type of power relationship, in which a sub’s concession of power is it’s own display. When women voice submissive desires I think it is difficult for some because of political realities and women’s very real secondary position in society. I think maybe some of Karley’s readers enjoy how provocative it is to voice these interests, and are disinterested in conflict, or exploring the conceptual space of submission. But they’re also probably in high school so who cares
“like”
this is so obvs a Hamilton, plz fuck me this way article….
I wouldn’t walk up to a female and slap her its a good way to get in trouble and its wrong. If a women told me to slap her or pull her hair or choke her or even telling me she likes to be controlled I would do those things and more. I consider it disrespectful to just assume a women wants to be slapped and to do it. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a women that wants control taken away and for her body to be yours. Though control is not taken its given by her it shows how much she trusts you and to me is incredibly hot and makes me want to do it really good for her. I want them to get as much or more out of it then I did. I also like that its as much about the mind as it is physical but I do like to push on both fronts the mind and the body. As for the site I’ve seen better sites in many ways I enjoy this one because its Karley talking about herself and some aquantices its more real then some of the others.
Jake The Snake I think you would be a great lover. I want you to fuck me.
You’ve been speaking like a 16 year old private school girl for years now; change the tone, it’s getting tedious. The “obvs” and “duh” bullshit is so 2010.
Who the hell cares
I love how people get all pissy that Slutever is so popular without having to be about much more than Karley’s life and friends. And complaints about the “quality” of the writing are so annoying. It’s a blog, it would be ridiculous and pretentious if it was written too formally.
Anyway, this made me laugh so hard. I can definitely relate. Especially to Sugar’s comments about Jake. The guy I’m seeing, “Jakob” roughed me up the night we met as well. And when I asked “How did you know [that I would love being slapped and pushed around in the pub restroom]?” he was like, “I just knew.”
<3
this is great! the next time i want a girl to like me, i’m just going to punch her in the face and lock her in my trunk for a few days. apparently that’s what she wants and i’m supposed to know that!! thanks ladies!
See ya in jail Randy!
Well if we’re all talking about our s&m relationships, let me join right in and say that I am happy as hell to have my boyfriend okay ill describe him. He’s irish and has black hair and deep set eyes and a sexy voice and speaks spanish with a super hot accent. Ah!
Oh yeah and he’s really submissive but then again will hurt me if I ask him. It doesnt take so much of the fun out of it though, because I get off on mixing my dominance with submission… though it is sometimes annoying to have to ask him all the time for what I want.
He also has long eyelashes and his name is Kelly tehehehehehe
um can i just talk about my sex life here? okay
some girls like it and some don’t. thats all.
My boyfriend and I read your blog together and always feel a little hot under the collar afterwards. Love it! <3
I’m a guy, and I’d love a woman to just walk up to me and give me a nice big slap, because she thinks I am just one of those guys that needs to be slapped. That would be hot.
Also Karley, that story you’ve been touching yourself over for four years, I have a pretty much identical story and have been touching myself over it for around 6 years. FUCK. Need more memories for the bank.
i just masturbated to this conversation. it’s been a long time since i came that hard. thanks!
How do you figure out a woman wants to be dominated/physically punished? I love women and want to give my lover what she wants and needs. If slapping her face and calling her a @#$%$ whore gives her that special fulfillment then I will take my enjoyment that way, but I will take just as much enjoyment from kissing snuggling and doing all the other “loving” things people find so amusingly quaint. I cannot just look in a womans eyes and decide to slap this woman because I “see” her need to be a Sub. I also realize that it does not give the same satisfaction if the sub has to ask to be spanked. You lucked out when your Jake “saw it in your eyes”. I have the same issue of knowing when a woman who has dressed as a “slut” is wanting to be treated that way, or if she just feels pretty when her clothes reveal whats underneath rather than hiding her beauty. I guess I am your typical confused male.