Tag: Dating 101

People seemed to like the first one, so here we go again!

1. If a girl is dry, it’s not her problem, it’s yours.

2. Masturbating to childhood photos of your boyfriend does not make you a paedophile, it makes you sooo totally cute!!!

3. You know how sometimes a few hours after you have sex some of the leftover semen seeps out of your vagina onto your inner thighs? It’s OK to eat it.

4. Sober sex is better than drunk sex. Drunk sex is better than no sex.

5. All in all, jealousy is a bad quality. However, if you really like someone, sometimes it’s good to show that you’re a little bit jealous of all the skanky hoes vying for his/her attention, because it shows you really care.

6. Jewish people are hot.

7. “Bitch, turn over!” is not a very nice thing to say, however when properly executed it can be very, very arousing.

8. Recently, 3 different girls have told me that when they masturbate they think about being gangbanged and/or raped, but then, right in their moment of climax, they think about the person they love. Just putting that out there.

9. Technically speaking, that giant birds nest tangle thing that forms in the back of your hair after a long love-making session is called a “sex knot.”

10. If he calls you in the daytime just to chat, it means he likes you for realzies. If he compliments you on your new Issey Miyake prism tote bag, it means he’s gay.

Photos by Julia Corsaro

11. Sucking your bf’s dick in the shower while he washes his hair is both hot and time efficient. #multitasking

12. We don’t want to hear about your ex-girlfriend, ever, even if you’re talking shit about her. Actually, that’s even worse.

13. No matter how dorky and tween movie it may be, holding hands in the movies will always be a total cute alert!

14. A fedora is never a good idea.

15. Justin Theroux is a gazillion times hotter than Brad Pitt. There, I said it.

16. I’m sorry, but food and sex just do not mix. I don’t know where that rumor got started. It’s SEX, not a Ricky Martin video.

17. Maintaining eye contact for just that little bit too long is the easiest way to say “I want to fuck you.”

18. Guys: Not letting a girl kiss you after she gives you head is a surefire sign that you are a prude, pathetic piece of man garbage, and that you suck in bed.

19. Cacti do not make good dildos.

20. And lastly, we’re all equally psycho! Don’t feel guilty about analyzing every last detail (down to the punctuation) of that text she sent you, because she probably spent an equal amount of time composing it. You might as well embrace your craziness, because it’s here to stay.

Why She Knows: Alexis Penney is a tranny, hooker, and party hostess from San Fransisco. I’ve interviewed Alexis previously about his fabulous life as punk hustler, which you can and should read HERE. When I started Dating 101, I originally said I was only going to be interviewing women. However Alexis is a woman sometimes (when he wants to be), and realistically it’s about time we enlisted someone who has a dick who also sucks dick to teach us how to give a good BJ. And I’m pretty sure Alexis gives a good BJ, considering he gives them (and gets them) for a living.

PLEASE, teach us how to give head.
A friend of mine once said that the trick is to slip a “pink in the stink” aka a finger in the ass, which I think can be true. Also, unless the guy is just super into deep-throating, a blowjob is going to feel best when there’s a hand used in conjunction. And seriously, watch the teeth! Like figure out how to keep those fuckers back, because there is literally NOTHING worse than a toothy blowjob. Honestly though, I’ve hooked up with slutty gay guys in their fucking 30s who still can’t figure out how to give a good blowjob. It’s like, did you miss that day or what?! Like some guys will go super fast and crazy, but it’s best to do it kind of slow and rhythmic. If you are trying to just get it over with, come up almost all the way off the head each time and follow your mouth with your hand, while keeping a medium rhythm. That’s how I get guys off if I want them to cum soon or if I’m bored. Oh and if your mouth is dry, fucking drink some water! A cotton-mouthed blowjob can also be really gnarly.

Do all guys like to be fingered in the ass though? How do you work out if a guy wants that?
Honestly, no. I used to bottom like a pro but don’t really anymore, and I almost hate it when somebody fingers my ass, because I’m like dude, I am probably pretty dirty down there and your finger is kind of harsh and pokey, etc. But that’s just me. A lot of guys actually love it, but I think there can be some psychological shit if the guy is straight, and even with some gay guys too. But I think you can usually tell. Like a bottomish dude will get really crazy and give you moany signals if you get down by his house, and the same with a straight dude, especially because some of them may not be used to being touched there, so you can usually hear it or see it in his mannerisms if he’s into it. I think it’s always good to try for the ass at least once though, just to see.

What is your number 1 dating tip?

CHILL OUT. I think a lot of people get in relationships and the intensity of the emotions makes them crazy! I’m constantly over-thinking shit with guys, taking things too personally, planning out our lives years in advance and nitpicking when they do something I don’t like. But it’s better to just relax and enjoy it and don’t trip about the future, or who likes who more, because then you just turn it into some gross mirror of your parents’ marriage or something. Blech!

Is it a bad idea to have sex on the first date if you think you could potentially really like the person?
No way! I think it’s a good idea. If I don’t have sex on the first date I assume it wasn’t even a date, unless we at least make out. I can’t even think of someone in a relationship context until I have sex with them, because what if he wants me to shit on him? Not that that is necessarily a deal breaker, but you know what I mean.

I agree that it’s not a bad idea, although I do think dating can exist without sex. But I think it can be bad to wait too long. Like what if you wait until after marriage and then you find out the guy has erectile dysfunction, a la Charlotte in Sex and the City? Nightmare!
Yeah I can’t fathom a relationship or love without sex, how inane and weird! Normal people love to set themselves up for failure, haha.

Do you have any default moves you pull in the bedroom, or foreplay stuff you do, to turn a guy on?
Hmm, not really. I guess I’m always joking at least slightly in the bedroom, which some guys like and some don’t. I hate when guys take it super seriously like it’s all SO hot and we’re like being filmed for a porno or something. I’m like lighten up, because really sex can be pretty gross and dumb, and I’ve been filmed doing it and I don’t look that good, so I like to keep it light.

Yeah, I love sex–have since I was a little kid–but sometimes when I over-analyze it I’m like “Eww! What’s going on why am I do this? Gross!” But I think that’s a totally normal feeling, which is why it’s good to maintain a sense of humor about it.

Totally!

In your opinion, what should a girl wear on a date?
Whatever you feel the most confident and attractive in. I don’t think there’s anything too slutty or too anything, as long as it makes you feel good. I think the biggest mistake can be trying to be casual. It’s like, you’re not going to yoga class! You should dress to reflect well on yourself! But that’s just me, and I’m in make-up and heels like 75% of the time, even in the most inopportune moments, so I have kind of a skewed perspective about how to dress. I say just be yourself, don’t try to look like anything that you’re not, and whatever you wear, sell it. It’s pretty easy to tell if someone isn’t confident in what they’re wearing, so you better own the look.

So do you ever fuck straight guys? Is it normal for straight guys to “experiment”?
Yeah I’ve actually fucked a ridiculous amount of straight guys. I don’t know what it is; I think that straight guys, like animals and children, respond to me because I don’t judge anybody and I’m really good at presenting a blank slate to project on. If I’m in a room full of straight guys, the one that is questioning his sexuality will almost always seek me out, it’s actually kind of ridiculous. I’ve had guys proposition me at posh 30-something dinner parties, when their wife and kid are in the next room, it’s nuts. But after sleeping with and being in relationships with some crazy straight/bi guys I kind of got over it, because I’d rather be with someone who’s not conflicted about who they are. I think all gay guys have a straight guy fetish, but I just don’t want to deal with that. That being said, I had some guy come home with me after my club asking to “experiment” like a week ago, so it’s not like I’m above it. I mean if you get right down to it, nobody is really as straight or as gay as they say–that’s a societal thing, not a sexual thing. I’m the fucking gayest queen I know and I’ve messed around with girls, whatever! People are people.

All pics by Sandy Kim (who I recently made out with)

1. Spitting in your boyfriend’s mouth is the new black.

2. Guys: When you are going down on a girl, don’t look up at her. Our pubes make you look like you have a weird Hitler mustache, and that creeps us out.

3. It’s always nice to give someone you care about a compliment, but compliments mean infinitely more when you’re sober.

4. It’s OK to think your brother is hot.

5. Cum on her face. She’ll like it, I promise.

6. Girls like to be stroked and snuggled and kissed. Sort of like a cat. But we also like to be smacked around once in a while. Take note. 

7. Being jealous is a waste of time and energy. Everyone has exes, so don’t stress about the fact that your lover has had other lovers. Also, don’t do things intentionally to try and make the person you are dating jealous, either. That’s mean, and why would you want to be mean to someone you care about?

8. Blood is nature’s lubricant.

9. Gentle kisses to the top of the head are a sure-fire sign that someone really likes you. Trying to put it in your ass when you’re half sleeping even though you’ve told him a bunch of times that you’re not really into that is a sure-fire sign that you should move on.

10. Boys with big noses are hot. Boys with big noses who get nosebleeds are even hotter.

11. It’s unattractive to be too available. I know you want to be with him like ALL the time, but always being free to hang makes you look like an unimportant loser with no life. Make the other person miss you and want you.

12. Oh my god brush your teeth.

13. It’s OK to like the way someone dresses, but fashion feelings are not the same as real feelings.

14. Shower sex is really hot, but the water can make our vaginas go all weird and clammy on the inside, which is why you should always keep a tube of lube in the shower.

15. KISSING IS THE BEST!!!

16. “I want you” is a good line.

17. Girls: Generally speaking, you have to touch your clit during sex in order to cum. Most guys can’t get you there on their own, so you have to help them out.

18. Sex is meant to be clumsy and awkward.

19. Making out with your hand in the shower while masturbating is not weird.

20. And finally, the real secret to dating (and life) is just to be the most amazing version of yourself possible. It sounds corny, but it’s true! Don’t be one of those loser people who sit around smoking weed, doing nothing and hating the world all day, because no one loves them. Be the sort of person who takes vitamins, reads books, goes jogging and gives mind-blowing head. And then one day, out of the blue, some epically hot and smart and nice person will stumble into your life, and you’ll look into each other’s eyes and know instantly that you’re meant to be. And then they’ll kiss you and you’ll kiss back and you’ll keep on kissing for more or less the rest of your lives. Aww! Total cute alert! Because you’re worth it.

Cosmopolitan is a magazine read by girls who want to be told how to dress, act and what to say, because they’re too scared/dumb to think for themselves. I’ve expressedmy feelings for Cosmo in the past–about how it brands itself as a girlpower sex and dating guide, when it’s actually just an instructional pamphlet on how to be a desperate, man-pleasing cum slut. Por ejemplo, Cosmo recently published an article listing the sex positions that make us girls look the skinniest to our partners during sex. WHAT!? Are they 4real? How the fuck are we meant to cum if whenever we have sex we spend the whole time worrying about twisting ourselves into crazy positions, just to appear five pounds lighter? It’s SEX, not a fashion shoot, i.e. you should be worrying about the friction on your clit, not your fucking angles. Also, newsflash, if a guy is having sex with you it means he already likes you and the way you look, just like you already like him and the way he looks. So basically you can save the sucking-in for your America’s Next Top Model audition tape.

Anywayz, I figured it would be a good idea to interview an advice columnist from Cosmo for Dating 101, to remind ourselves to always do the opposite of whatever she says. You’re welcome!

If you really care about someone, what’s a good way to show them how you feel?
Cosmo: When you’re sexually excited, really express yourself. Scream your head off, laugh, shout his name — whatever you have the urge to do. If you’re embarrassed, just know that you’re doing your partner a favor. The more you express your pleasure, the more you make him feel like the stud of the universe.

Translation: Fake it.

Is it a good or bad idea to send someone you just met pictures of you masturbating?
I think keep it simple – you’re not a porn star so generally, resist sending pictures. If this is a new guy then you have no sound reason to trust him. If things don’t go well, he will always have that ‘keepsake’, which is a pretty nasty thought.

Weird, because that’s always worked for me.

What are some tips for spicing up your sex life?
Bringing sex toys into the mix is always a good way to spice things up. But if you don’t own any, no fear, you can make you own sex toys from stuff you have lying around the house. Scrunchies, for example, make for great play things. Start by stacking six scrunchies on top of each other over your guy’s package. Then remove them one by one using your lips and tongue. As each piece is removed, it releases a little bit of pressure in his penis, which will make his orgasm more intense when it happens. Plus, the movement of the fabric will feel wild on his skin.

Completely ridiculous. No one has six scrunchies.

Anything else?
When he’s least expecting it, tell your man you need some change. Then stick your hand in his pocket and start rubbing his penis through the fabric, pretending that you’re really digging around for that coinage you need. When he’s good and hard, whisper something Mae West-ish in his ear like, “Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?” He’ll practically bust out of his pants.

A bit conceptual, but I’ll let this one slide as it’s something I can almost imagine myself doing when drunk.

Any advice for first dates?
Don’t judge someone on a first date. People act weirdly on first dates – fact. If your gut has a good feeling about him but you didn’t like his shoes, his cardigan, his verbal diarrhea, then give him another chance, because those things are changeable.

So basically it doesn’t matter if you don’t like the way someone dresses or acts, because those things can be changed. Don’t love someone for who they are, love them for the person you can mould them into, duh!

I’m exhausted.

Why She Knows: Julieta has worked as a stripper in London for 8 years. Men and women regularly pay huge amounts of cash just to be near her and watch her take her clothes off, which makes me think she must have at least a fraction of a clue what turns people on. When she’s not working the pole Julieta works as a yoga teacher, a DJ, and an events organizer. Stripping funded her her way through college, and paid for her to start her own business, AKA she’s good at being naked.

How do I make a boy get a boner?
Doing a striptease or wearing sexy clothing really makes a guy hot. The key to a good striptease is to emphasize your best body parts! Play music that makes you feel sexy and wear something easy to take off, for example something that will slide down your body when you undo the zip/button. Always keep eye contact, and remember that slow moves work better. You can use a chair if you’re more adventurous, but the best basic move is like a figure of eight of the hips and shoulders, while slowly removing  your clothes, switching from front view to back view.

When dating someone, when is a good time to initiate sexy texting, and how is it done?
At the beginning it’s best to let the guy take the first steps. But after that definitely go for it, it can fire up encounters so much! Some lines that have worked for me are, ‘I’m so hot I can’t wait to see you’ and ‘Thinking about last night… my body calls for it all over again.’ Or my favorite to send before a date is, ‘I’m not wearing any underwear tonight, and I’m bringing some chocolate to accompany this desert.’
Is sleeping with someone on the first date a bad idea if you want to be thought of as more than just a random ho?
I don’t think so. Sexual chemistry is one of the most important things in a relationship, and if you feel driven to have sex with someone on the first date then you have already found a point in favour of this person.

Do you think there is truth in the stereotype that men are more sexual than women?
I don’t think so, no. I am a very sexual girl and don’t see myself as any different than men at all. I wonder if the stereotype of girls not being that sexual has to do more with confidence, or with the lack of sexual exploration, or even the fact that women just don’t talk about it as much…

Has internet porn destroyed our ability to gauge what a normal sex life is?
Normal? Who and what is normal? I think good porn is good for inspiration, just like a good film, book, or album.

Why She Knows: Susie Orbach is an acclaimed British psychotherapist, and the author of lots of influential books on feminist theory and how us girls view our bodies and ourselves, including Fat is a Feminist Issue and The Impossibility of sex. I had the pleasure of meeting Susie in person last year when we both participated in a round table discussion about SEX for Bon International magazine. (I blogged about it, you can read it HERE.) During the talk she had a lot of interesting things to say about female sexuality and what sex can and should mean to us. I thought she’d be perfect for Dating 101, because 4realz, before we can truly understand what we want out of a relationship, and find someone amazing to fuck/love us back, we first have to truly understand and love ourselves. Cheesy, but also true!

Often, girls who openly enjoy sex are labeled as sluts. What needs to be done to establish more positive ideas about female sexuality?
The problem is that we live in a time where sex of a certain kind is portrayed everywhere, but we don’t show women as sexual in their own right. We have to create new images that aren’t about women’s bodies as sights of display. And when it comes down to education, we need to find ways to encourage girls to learn about their own desires, and how to communicate them and teach boys about girl’s desires.

How is my porn addiction weighing on my view of what is a normal sex life?
Not well. Porn has encouraged girls to view themselves even more as the objects of other’s desires, and to see sex as entirely visual rather than relational.

Obviously we all want to date someone we find hot, but is it true that guys are more concerned with the physical appearance of their sexual partners than girls are?
I don’t buy that myth. I think most men crave intimacy, connection and interest, just as most women do. And one of the painful aspects of life today is that women are encouraged to turn to quite dramatic cosmetic procedures in the face of loss.

Is Facebook helping or hindering our chances of forming healthy relationships?
I’m not sure. I think it’s helpful for people who are isolated, and the Internet can seem very compelling and offer one the sense of existing with a circle if one feels insignificant, but it’s a different kind of thing to sitting with friends. It can contain more aspects of performance than simple relating.

The stereotype is that men are more sexual than women, but I know a lot of super horny girls. Are we really all that different?
Historically women’s sexuality has been so terrifying culturally that we have been represented as either Madonna’s or whores, and female sexuality has been repressed though legal constrains through marriage, and even clitorectemies. So yes, men and women’s sexuality appears to very different, but that’s just how it appears, not how it necessarily is, or would be under different conditions.

Is it a bad idea to sleep with someone on the first date?
I’m not a great one for formulae. It may or may not make sense given who the other person is, and how you feel towards them. There is not a right answer, surely.

Ultimate words of wisdom?  
Only do what feels good……

 

 

Why She Knows: During a recent trip to Barnes and Noble, I somehow got lost and ended up in the self-help section. While there I stumbled across a flirty little book called The Single Girl’s Guide to Meeting European Men, by Katherine Cahoon. I flipped open to a random page and the first sentence I read was (in bold, enlarged print), “Male hikers can not resist the hair flip!” I thought, this is a girl who knows what she’s talking about! The book is basically a dating guide aimed at socially unaware American girls, full of sentences that don’t really mean anything in particular, but are super fun to read, like, “Always be sure to have your spunk shining through and your guy-attracting glow on.” Katherine also posts instructional videos on youtube full of “hot man meeting tips”. In this vid she teaches us how to win the hearts of “artsy European men” at the Edinburgh Festival. Take notes bitches!

How do I meet people who could potentially want to be inside me?
Katherine: A great tip for meeting men is, avoid prowling in packs. Most men don’t want to tackle a gang of girls to meet their prime prospect. Ladies, I know you are hungry for grade-A males, but don’t act like wolves on the hunt! Traveling in a pack is the wrong approach.

How soon to too soon to talk about feelings?
When a girl becomes too open with a guy too fast, it can make him feel like her psychiatrist. No one wants to feel that way unless that person has a degree and is being paid! In the beginning of a relationship, it’s best to keep conversation light and focus on getting to know one another.   

What’s one thing a girl should never do at the start of a relationship?
Guys don’t like hearing a girl talk about her exes. It makes them feel like they’re being compared with every other man in the woman’s life. Still, sometimes curiosity overcomes them and they ask. When this happens, it often works to tell the guy you want to focus on getting to know each other.

According to Cher from Clueless, “Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex.” True or false?
I don’t think women have to show skin to attract men, but it works. In my book, I describe a friend who I call the “Sexcapader” because her goal was to get laid in every European country she visited at a unique cultural landmark. When looking for male targets, she wore very revealing outfits, complete with push-up bras. Around her professors, however, the revealing outfits and push-up bras stayed in her closet. Basically, you should wear what fits the situation.     

Your friend, huh? Interesting. So is it a bad idea to fuck someone the minute you meet them?
There are exceptions to the rule, but even today many guys like the chase. They don’t want to feel like girls are handing them their hearts, or more like their bodies, on platters. I have a girlfriend who is into random play, but she doesn’t advertise this on her Facebook page for a reason! I also have heard my guy friends say that when they ask a girl how many men she has slept with, they double the number in their heads and hope it isn’t too high. They want to be new and exciting to a girl, not just one of the many slabs hanging in her meat market.

Why She Knows: The popular girls in high school get all the boys. They’re like the ultimate archetype of social/sexual power. However, the world of high school is not what it used to be. No one cares about cheerleaders or big tits anymore; what matters is who has the most popular Youtube channel, or the most followers on Twitter. Tavi is the 14 year old author of the fashion blog Style Rookie, which has hundreds of thousands of readers. Realistically, Tavi is probably still not high school cool, even by today’s standards. However she’s tricked the system by getting herself into the pages of Vogue and every other fashion magazine on earth starting at the age of 12, thereby rising above the standard system of coolness that pervades the high school halls. And to be honest it doesn’t really matter to me whether she knows anything about dating/boys or not, because I value her general opinion more than most others in this world. (Said in whisper: I love you Tavi…)

So what do boys like?
Why are you asking me? I’m 14! I haven’t “dated” anyone since the seventh grade! I don’t really know why you even thought I would have any wisdom nuggets to offer in this interview, but it’s fun!

Tavi, you’re not helping. OK, if I really like someone but I want to give off the impression of being cool and aloof, how long should I wait to reply to their texts?
I think it makes the most sense to text them right away, because otherwise they don’t know that you like them and think you’re just continuing on the conversation. And if they’re not playing along then you say TTYL or whatever.

What’s one quality all girls should look for in a guy?
Personally, I wouldn’t date a guy who isn’t a feminist. Why date someone who doesn’t think of us as equals? However it’s almost impossible since the only male feminists I’ve met in high school are either a) gay, or b) overbearing, olive-colored-clothed wise guys who are too proud of their stance on communism. In case you didn’t already pick up on this, I am not exactly a reader’s choice among the dudes. I was a horribly awkward 7th grader and fear that I haven’t changed.

Does dressing too sexy give off the wrong impression?
Girls should wear whatever they want. And if it gives off a “wrong impression” and a guy judges her for it, then they’re not supposed to go out. It’s like natural selection.

Is it OK to date someone who dresses badly?
Yeah.

I recently made my crush a mixtape of love songs complete with an accompanying letter explaining why each song reminds me of him/us. Should I give it to him or is that TM?
Yes! I wish mixtapes and cute little notes weren’t so obsolete! Facebook chat is so unromantic and dorky. I want someone at my school to bring back mixtapes. Damn.

Being “in a relationship” on Facebook: good idea or bad idea?
Bad idea if it’s too soon, good idea if the two are agreed on their circumstances.

What are the rules about dating a friend’s ex?
Don’t do it! What did we learn from the Aaron Samuels fiasco?

I love Mean Girls. Tavi, you are so wise. And lastly, what’s the best way to break up with someone?
Bake them a cake that says IT’S OVER and cover it with Justin Bieber Silly Bandz or make them a necklace with those letter beads and plastic hearts that says MY HEART BELONGS TO GUCCI MANE and they’ll get the idea.

Photo by Nan Goldin

Dear girls,

Finding someone who wants to fuck you back can be really hard! Dating is so stressful and scary and convoluted. There’s so much to think about, so many uncertainties. How long should I wait to text him back? Does this dress make my arms looks fat? Should I or should I not bring up my bastard child? Do second cousins count as incest? How soon is too soon for anal? AHH! It’s too much! And all for someone who could potentially give us AIDS.

But fear no more, because I’m going to help us get this situation under control. For the next few weeks I will be posting interviews with a variety of amazing, intelligent, sexually powerful women, and in these interviews I’m going to ask all the questions us girls have always wanted to know about the mysteries of the coital dance. Now the goal here isn’t to work out how to “bag a man.” (Pleeease, everyone knows clit is power.) This is just some friendly girl-on-girl advice on a subject that’s been confusing the fuck out of everyone since the dawn of the crush. Because all we really want is someone to love—someone to stroke our hair and pay for half of the abortion, who gives us semi-regular orgasms and pretends they don’t mind when we get our period all over their bed, slasher movie style. Is that too much to ask?

EXPERT 1: MY MOTHER

Why she knows: My mom started dating my dad when she was 16. She’s now 52, which means they’ve been together for roughly 100 years. I’m pretty sure they still fuck too, because I recently found a bottle of lube in her bedside table while sneakily searching for her Ambien prescription. So if anyone knows anything about maintaining a sexy, long lasting relationship, it’s my mom!

Mom, what are your tips for making good first impression?
Well, it wouldn’t hurt to put a sweater on once in a while. Dressing too sexy gives off the impression that you’re a show off, and that you’re cheap. I’m not saying you have to dress like a nun, but you shouldn’t wear a sign on your back that says ‘I’m a slut’ either.

So what should I wear then?
The rule of thumb is, you can’t do boob and leg at the same time. It’s either a short skirt or a low top; both together and you look trashy. Also black is good because it’s slimming, and a pair of ankle boots are always cute.

When you like someone, how long is an appropriate time to wait before sleeping with them? Longer than one hour?
Ideally I would say you should wait until you are married, although I know these days that’s unrealistic. But sleeping with someone before you’re sure that you love them is a bad idea, because then you feel bad about yourself the next day. And the double standard still exists—women are judged more harshly than men in their decision to give it up. I’m sorry, but it’s true.

What are some qualities us girls should be looking for in a mate?
You need a man who can fix stuff—someone who can change a tire, fix the broken pipe under the sink, and also cook a good bowl of pasta. I know that probably doesn’t seem very appealing now, but believe me, one day you will thank me for that advice. Stay away from people who smoke, because they stink and die early. Also stay away from jealous people. If a guy is jealous or thinks you’re cheating, it probably means he’s cheating. I learned that from Oprah.

Lol. Anything else?
Avoid people with bad hygiene. If somebody looks dirty that’s a definite turn off for me. I would never go near anyone who didn’t shower regularly or have sheets on their bed. Although I don’t know, maybe at your age I would have.

What is your ultimate dating tip?
I think what’s most important is to take the hints that are given you. If he doesn’t like you, move on! It’s not attractive to linger or be pathetic. We’ve all seen He’s Just Not That Into You. And I know that’s just a silly movie but there is definitely a lot of truth in it.

You and dad seem like you’re still pretty hot for each other. What are some of your top tips for in the bedroom?
I’m not discussing this with you.