X-Mas Gifts for Nymphos


Christmas colors are generally red and white. But why is that, when the combination of red and white creates an even better color–pink! This year, get your loved one of the gift of Pink Christmas, the scent! LOL. For some reason SSION (aka the incredible musician, artist and director) has made a holiday perfume. Below is the very creepy ad for it, which features me and Samantha Urbani. If you want to smell like a pink version of X-Mas, you can buy the scent at Vfiles. Oh, and the new band Slink (a combo of SSION, Samantha Urbani and Hunx and his Punx) just released a holiday song, also called Pink Christmas. You can listen to it HERE :)

Or, if you want to get your loved one a gift on the kinkier side, I have the perfect idea for you! Below, watch me unwrap the ultimate gift for the modern, bi-curious, sexually adventurous nymphomaniac <3 (p.s. watch more of Vogue‘s unboxing videos here! )

20 Slut-tastic Sex Facts for the Modern Hussy

cindy023auPic by Helmut Newton

You might know a lot about sex, but you don’t know everything. Below are 20 of my favorite weird truths that I found on the internet about sex that are guaranteed to either turn you on, gross you out, or at least give you a serious sexual reality check.

1. Harvard University now offers a class called “What What in the Butt: Anal Sex 101.” No, that’s not a lie–the workshop is offered in conjunction with the Ivy League university’s Sex Week, and is intended to help students practice healthy and pleasurable anal sex. How cool is that?? You can read more about it here.

2. Guys, your worst fear is a reality: the penis gradually shrinks with age.

3.There is more to the clitoris than the eye can see. The clitoris is actually close to four inches in length, however three fourths of it is inside body. And the clitoris actually grows throughout a woman’s life. After menopause it can grow 2.5 times larger than it was during the teenage years. (We win!)

4. Masturbation is healthy for you! For example, it’s good for stress management, it’s good for your pelvic muscles, it releases endorphins, it lowers the risk of type-2 diabetes and of prostate cancer, it prevents cervical infections in women, and it helps you fall asleep! Why not add a healthy dose of masturbation to your daily kale salad?!

5. Oh, also, masturbating is one of the most effective natural ways to cure period cramps. (Cheaper than Advil.)

6. Eating semen can make you less depressed! Or, at least it’s packed full of natural mood-enhancers, like prolactin, oxytocin, serotonin and estrone, which are natural antidepressants.

7. The word “vagina” comes from the Latin root meaning “sheath for a sword.” (As a half lesbian, I am OFFENDED by this!)

8. Scary (but also kind of funny): Seventy-five percent of Malawians believe that homosexuality is a “Western invention.”

9. Roughly half of Americans lose their virginity by the age of 17, but 10% stay virgins after the age of 24.

10. Depressing: The American Psychiatric Association listed homosexuality as a mental illness until 1973.


Pic by Stacey Mark

11. 46% of Israel’s Arab citizens say they would be bothered by having a gay couple as their neighbors.

12. 9 Viagra tablets are sold every second. (I wonder if this affects the sale of lube?)

13. A quick kiss burns about 2-3 calories, whereas more passionate kiss burns 5 or more calories, depending on the duration and intensity. So basically if you’re not using tongue kissing is not dietetically worth you time.

14. Unsettling: Over the course of two weeks, a single human male produces enough sperm to impregnate every fertile woman on the planet.

15. 75% of Japanese women own a vibrator, but the average worldwide is only 47%.

16. Duh: Most women get hornier than usual right before their period.

17. Weird: A woman is more likely to consider committing adultery during ovulation than at any other time in her menstrual cycle.

18. 1 in 10 European babies is conceived in an IKEA bed.

19. Some women cum during childbirth.

20. Ending on a sad note: Earlier this month, UK porn was heavily censored–specifically BDSM porn, noooo! The Audiovisual Media Services Regulations introduced a series of seemingly arbitrary moral restrictions on the pornography produced and sold in the UK. Some of the sex acts now banned from British porn are: spanking, caning, aggressive whipping, penetration by any object “associated with violence”, physical or verbal abuse (regardless if it’s consensual), urolagnia (known as “water sports”), role-playing as non-adults, physical restrain, humiliation, female ejaculation, strangulation, facesitting. Read more about this idiotic and moralistic censorship here.

Ask Slutever: Why Am I Attracted to Ugly Dudes?

Dear Slutever,

Is it weird to fantasize about fucking ugly people? I’ve noticed that often, when I see a guy who I don’t find physically attractive, I immediately have thoughts about us fucking doggy-style. I’m semi concerned that subconsciously it’s because I want to be the more attractive person in a sexual scenario, making it a self-esteem issue. . . but I don’t know, maybe I’m just legitimately into ugly dudes? Help, Sarah

Honestly, I’m at the point where I don’t think it’s “weird” to fantasize about anything. The human mind is incredibly perverted, and I think most of us wouldn’t admit–sometimes not even to ourselves–where our deepest, darkest fantasies could lead us if we let them. Having said that, I don’t think “fantasizing about fucking ugly people” is even particularly that dark. And not to be overly PC, but I wouldn’t use the world ugly, because it just feels kind of cruel, ya know? But I do understand what you mean about desire to fuck someone who you–or who general society–wouldn’t deem a standard beauty.

It’s no secret that, since the dawn of sex, people have been attracted to things that are “dirty,” and have felt the impulse to have have types of sex that polite society says we shouldn’t be having–e.g. anal sex, piss sex, fucking your friend’s spouse, or your teacher, or your student, sleeping with prostitutes, eating your girlfriend out on her period, being treated like a dog and kept in a cage… whatever, there’s a million examples. And I think your impulse probably falls into a similar category. 

My personal fantasies evolve and change over time, but there was a period that lasted for about two years where every time I masturbated I would think about being gangbanged by a group of really gross, hairy, fat, brutish guys, which is literally the exact opposite of the the type of person I’m actually attracted to in a relationship way. At the risk of sounding egotistical, I think I liked the idea/the perversity of being used and abused by guys who “didn’t deserve me.” My friend, the sex blogger Tea Hacic, used to have similar fantasies–we’d talk about it all the time. We even nicknamed it (quite narcissistically) the “Beauty and the Beast complex.” And I guess maybe you could link that to a self esteem issue, but I don’t think it has to be. Like, I enjoy getting smacked during sex sometimes, and that doesn’t mean that I devalue myself or think that I deserve abuse in my regular life–I just like it, OK? Sometimes we’re just turned-on by stuff, and we don’t have to over-think it, but that can ruin the fun and impulsiveness of it.

It does seem like what you’re talking about is specific to sex, and not “romance,” because you mentioned that your immediate impulse is to get fucked doggy-style by these guys, rather than to kiss and hug them. And actually, there is such a thing as “teratophilia,” which is defined as “the sexual paraphilia characterised by sexual attraction to deformed or monstrous people / Attraction to monsters.” Maybe that’s you! Yay, you have a paraphilia–now you’re officially special.

But basically, no, I don’t think it’s weird or harmful to have these fantasies, and I of course don’t think it would be bad to act on them either, so long as your less-attractive partner doesn’t feel objectified, or like a novelty (unless that’s what he/she is into, I guess… ugh, sex is confusing).

VICE Slutever Show, ep 4 – Sissy Sarah

Sup? Episode four is here! I met the legendary Sissy Sarah! Check it out!

So after this week the show will be on hiatus for a few weeks, but we will be back with more episodes very soon. More stuff about BDSM and some stuff about orgasms too. Woo, orgasms! Also, if you have stuff, people, or specific topics you think we should feature on the Vice Slutever show, please feel free to mention them in the comments. I would appreciate knowing what you want to see. Xoxo