potential poem titles

the hurricane is fucking up my sex life

i want sex but the only thing in my apartment is a tuna melt

“i feel bad”

i bought coffee with change from my couch: help me i’m poor vol.1

chinese people laugh at my phone

fat and sassy: a way of life

lesbian nightmare festival

if i check-in on foursquare can i get half off my pizza? – help me i’m poor vol.2

who moved my trash pile?

do you have a bag of chips in your purse and how far away are you from me?

triple meat salad


i feel insecure about my arms

why is this fucking person standing so close to me?

vintage laptop

indie laptop

my gym gives out free guacamole… are they trying to sabotage me?

girl dies in ferocious scissoring accident

homeless people think i’m lady gaga

no, YOUR pizza has AIDS

ode to carb relapse

my weave won’t be caught with some stuffed-crust bullshit

maybe i’ll do some leg lifts

hurricane causes multiple cases of fatal grindr withdrawal

no, that’s a rash

i was attacked by some idiot from out here in the projects

i told my stomach if it gets any bigger it has to start chipping in for bills and paying for its own health insurance

eating my feelings: vol.7

there’s an alarm going off inside my lizard brain

nothing matters

what if my ingrown hair…

Vice Slutever Show: Gray Area

God, sexuality can be so #confusing, right?! Like, how are we supposed to tell if we’re gay or not? In this episode, my recent sex dreams about my gurl crush, Mistress Amanda Whip, cause me to ponder, “In sex, does everything have to be black and white–“straight” or “gay”–or can we be somewhere in between, like, in the gray area? Clearly, the only way to solve this dilemma is with a LESBIAN MAKEOVER!!!

This is my favorite Slutever episode to date, so I hope you like it too! I’m also extremely excited about the #all-star cast, including international playboy Dev Hynes (aka Blood Orange); Lauren Dillard of the trending lesbian band, CREEP; and of course, the most powerful lesbian of all time and member of Le Tigre, JD Samson. (I had a poster of JD on my wall during that one year I went to college, so this is a pretty big deal for me.)

Later queers!

Special thanks to “the team” – Adri Murguia, Martina De Alba, Greg Eggebeen and Mariano Carranza

New Pee Comics

Photo by Sandy Kim

My pee slave, Brad, gave me a couple new comic strips when he came over my apartment yesterday for a golden shower. The deal is that I pee and spit into his mouth, and occasionally kick him in the head or whatever, and in turn he gives me money and specially-made comic strips, all of which are themed around–duh!–urine. My refrigerator door is covered in these things. Brad is cool and stuff, and his comics always make me laugh, but TBH it’s annoying when, after I pee into his mouth, he sometimes starts choking and pukes some of the pee back up onto my floor. It’s like, “Uggghhhh, seriously Brad? Get yourself together.”

Enjoy Brad’s pee comics. Happy Saturday :)

And another one…