Tag: S&M

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Tori Black on the cover of Richardson

I interviewed porn star Tori Black for the cover of the new issue of Richardson, out now! The cover features Tori photographed by Araki, and inside you can read her crazy interview, conducted by me and the iconic cult pornographer Bruce La Bruce. And when I say “crazy” I actually mean it–her life story is beyond anything I’ve ever heard, from psychotherapy boot-camp, to gang rape, to kidnapping by a human trafficker to… well, porn stardom :)

Richardson is an academic sex magazine. You may remember that I interviewed the very dashing editor and publisher, Andrew Richardson, for the publication of their last issue, which was themed around love. The theme of the current issue is DEATH, and features contributors like Harmony Korine, Dan Colen, Aurel Schmidt, Terry Richardson, Paul McCarthy, Nate Lowman, Bret Easton Ellis and way more. There’s some scary stuff in those pages, so beware…

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Am I Normal? – Cum Slave and Male Escort

One of my dominatrix clients is a businessman in his early 50s who likes to be treated like a whore and forced to eat his own cum. We’ve been doing sessions together for a year now, and over time we’ve become pretty good friends. Sometimes we hang out casually, just to chat. Like for example we’ll go have sushi and talk about Rihanna, and then afterward we’ll go back to the dungeon and I’ll ride him around like a horse. My sub (let’s call him Cum Slut) is always fun to talk to because he has endless crazy sex stories, starting from back when he first immersed himself in NYC’s S&M scene in the early 80s. Something I didn’t know about Cum Slut until recently, however, is that in his 20s he worked as a male escort. Edgy. I recently interviewed him about his prostitution days, and you can read the result below.

Slutever: So you were a male escort?
Cum Slut: Yeah, when I was in my twenties.

How did you get into doing sex work?
I worked as a parking lot attendant at a sex club on 34th Street called Plato’s Retreat. You should look it up some time. That place was like ancient Rome. They threw crazy swingers parties, there was a pool inside, all the rooms had beds in them, and one night of the week would be S&M night. While I had that job, a couple different times people who hung out at the club propositioned me, and those were my first experiences with prostitution.

Did you like working at the club?
Not really. I had to do a lot of clean up stuff, which wasn’t fun. One night somebody set a fire in one of the beds and the employees had to put it out. It was started a husband who was mad at his wife for fucking a bunch of guys. He wanted her to stop, but she wouldn’t stop and he got upset about it. She stopped when the fire broke out.

What year was this?
This was 1984, 85.

It’s weird that people were fucking strangers so freely during the height of the AIDS epidemic.
Yes, it was scary. Everybody was using condoms though.

So how did the people proposition you?
Well there was this one woman and her husband who I saw come into the club a few times. I was friendly with them, and the guy didn’t feel uncomfortable around me. One night they showed up and I parked their car and they tipped me $80. Now back then, that was a lot of money. And then at the end of the night when I bought their car back the woman just said, “So do you want take us home?”

That’s a good line.
Yeah it was. And off we went. The the next time they showed up they tipped me over $100 for parking–it was kind of like a ‘wink’–and I went back with them a second time.

How did you get further into prostitution from there?
Well after that I met this other woman named Anna. She was an escort, and she asked me if I would be her driver and security guard. How it usually works with escorts is that their agency sets them up with clients, and then they’re driven around from job to job by a bouncer type. In this case the agency actually provided the car as well. So I told her yeah, I would do it.

What was that like?
Basically I had a beeper that would tell me what addresses to take her to, and I got $25 an hour to drive her around for the evening, and I spent most of the time just waiting in the car on my own. For the first ten minutes that she was inside with a new client I’d have to be ready to jump, or to call the cops if something went wrong, but nothing ever went wrong. The agencies have this stuff on pretty heavy lock-down. Even back then they were screening the clients. Guys would have to show a drivers license and give information about where they worked–stuff like that. It was pretty worry-free. Or at least it was with this agency, I’m not sure how everybody else did it.

You never had one single problem?
No. I had a couple girls walk out of places. If they felt like a situation was weird, they would just leave and come back to the car. When the guys are weird or freak you out, you just have to trust your instincts and get out of there. But anyway, I ended up being the driver for this woman for like a year and a half, and at a certain point I started to go in and do scenes with her sometimes, if the client requested it. Or sometimes the client would be a couple and they’d want another couple, and that’s how I got back into sex work.

What was your role in the scenes?
I was the bull. The Dom. Amazing how things change, right?

Do you like being dominant?
Yeah, I’m a switch.

Wow, I would have never guessed that from the sessions you and I do together where you beg me for cock and ball torture. I’m a switch too.
You wouldn’t know from what I’ve told you. I would have guessed that you are a switch though. Also, I guess that’s pretty evident from your blog.

Lol true. So with Anna, was it a mindfuck that you spent so much time with her and were fucking each other so often? Did you end up liking each other?
Yeah we did. We ended up having a two month thing where we thought we might actually like each other, but because we were working together so often, something about the relationship was just off. I can’t explain it, I think there was just too much familiarity. When I first started driving her around all I wanted to do was fuck her. I would get sort of jealous when she would go in and see other guys. Then when our affair started, for the first couple weeks I thought I was in heaven, but it wore off fast because we always had to go back to work.

What was she like?
She had great taste and wore amazing clothes. Her winter coat–I’ll never forget it–was the most beautiful shearling wool winter coat I’ve ever seen. It was like what Vikings wore. It must have cost at least ten grand, and that was in the 80s. She once talked to me about how she did business, and she said, “I never talk about money. I just only go after the guys who I know have it.” Basically she would leave it up to her clients to decide how much to leave her, but she would never discuss money with them, because talking about money is awkward. That’s really what you’re striving for if you’re working as an escort–you want your clients to be the type who you know will treat you well, without you having to ask.

How long did you work with her?
About three years. But I ended up working on my own sometimes too.

How much did you make?
Back then it was like $175 an hour. I’d get $75 and the agency would get $100. I didn’t like splitting the money obviously, but I liked that it was safe, and that the agency would sort everything out and all I had to do was show up.

What else did you like about the job?
I looked at it like opening magic doors at night, where I would always see or hear something new. And getting head from guys was cool.

Why, are they better at it than girls?
Most are. In purely physical terms, anyway. Men just know what they’re working with. But for me, when I’m getting head from a woman, there’s the additional element that I might like her, which makes the sexual interaction better. I don’t have love for men in the same way that I do for women.

Do you think prostitution is a good job?
It depends how it’s done, like anything. But I think it definitely has an expiration date. I would see it taking a toll on some of the women over time. The job can result in a lot of compulsive behavior. Smoking and drinking especially, and drugs―all the things that are ‘the devil’ [laughs].

Well I can imagine that fucking a series of strangers is not the sort of thing you want to do sober.
Right, exactly.

And lastly, why do you think you are drawn to these extremes of sexuality?
Well, I listened to this really great interview on Howard Stern the other day. He was interviewing this gay man who’s now found God, but at one point he was doing really hardcore sex stuff–bondage scenes, pissing, lots of gangbangs, being punched in the face and knocked out, etc.–and the man was saying that he ritualized sex in order to learn about himself, that sex was about self-analysis. And I really understand that. I find sex very illuminating.

So what has sex taught you about yourself?
Well in an obvious way it’s taught me what turns me on, and what scenarios excite me. But to go deeper than that, I would say I’ve learned that I have a certain capability for compartmentalization. And that applies to things in my life far beyond sex. I’ve learned that as people, there are important aspects of ourselves that are always present, yet are not always evident.

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Public Disgrace

Photos @ Slutever

A couple months ago, while on a trip to San Francisco, I had the pleasure of being an audience member during the filming of Public Disgrace. This was extremely exciting, as I’m a huge and long-time Public Disgrace fan. (Sorry mom!) If you’re not familiar, PD is a porn site that’s part of the Kink.com empire–Kink being the largest BDSM porn company in the world– that specializes in hardcore, public sex. Most episodes of PD follow a similar pattern–a submissive girl is dragged out in front of an audience, after which she’s stripped, bound, punished, gangbanged, ass-fucked, tortured, etc. Hot, right?

Public Disgrace was founded by Princess Donna, a porn actress/director, and she runs the show on all the PD shoots. So basically in each video Princess Donna acts as the dominant woman, and she controls the humiliation of the female sub by directing how the gangbang ensues. Along with founding Public Disgrace, Donna also founded such classics as BoundGangBangs.com (another fave of mine–can’t get enough of those against-her-will gangbangs these days!), and UltimateSurrender.com, a sexual wrestling reality show (lol). The following is a quote from Princess Donna that I particularly liked, from an interview she did with the Village Voice: “I grew up in a Silence of the Lambs culture, a culture where rape and killing women are very common themes for movies and TV shows. Society isn’t afraid of sex and violence; they are afraid of women owning their own bodies and controlling their own sexuality—which is what happens in BDSM.”

But back to San Francisco. I was there with Richardson magazine, helping out with a project they were doing with Kink, which meant I got to hang out in the Kink studios. Pretty cool, considering it’s the place where the best fetish porn in the world is currently being made. Also, the Kink.com mission is to “demystify and celebrate alternative sexualities,” which I consider an important goal of Slutever too, so being there felt, you know, “meaningful” or whatever.

As I briefly mentioned in the San Francisco episode of the VICE Slutever show, the Kink headquarters is an old military armory. The company purchased The Armory–a giant brick fortress the takes up an entire city block in SF’s Mission district– in 2006, and they’ve since transformed into into an insane bondage playground. The energy inside the place is incredible. When you walk in, as you move through the hallways, it has the appearance and professionalism of any standard film studio. But then you open a door and it’s like, ‘Oh, a woman being fucked by giant machines.’ And then you open another door and two guys are fisting each other. And then behind another door there’s a gangbang. But it’s all very casual, like, “Oh hey I have three dildos in my ass, but sure I’ll shake your hand, welcome to Kink!” #nbd. I was only there for one day, but I’m pretty sure I was involved in more conversations about enemas during my time there than ever before in my entire life. Every time you turned around someone was talking about having just had an enema, or needing to get one later, or once a man just shouted, “Anyone need an enema?” at a group of actors lounging around a set, and everyone just smiled and shook their head like, “Not right now, but thanks for asking!” I can’t lie–that made me feel a little weird. Then there was one point when I was watching this French girl have sex with a fuckmachine, and I started to feel sort of awkward, like “Am I supposed to turn away? Is it creepy if I’m smiling?” But as I looked around the room I realized that I was clearly the only person who was feeling any weirdness, which made me feel even weirder because I was like, “Wait, am I a square?!” Although I suppose it was sort of humbling to be the “normal” one in a sexual situation for a change.

The Kink Armory–impressive yo

Back to Public Disgrace. Since the series is usually filmed in front of an audience, there’s generally a couple hundred people from the San Francisco area invited to be in the crowd, and to partake, to an extent, in the gangbang action. The episode I watched had a house party theme, and lucky me, I got to ride in the production van from the Kink Armory to the shoot location. Also in the van was Princess Donna, pornstars Cherry Torn and Skin Diamond (who were the two female subs about to be publicly disgraced), two male porn actors (who join the crowd and lead the gangbang), and the rest of the crew–cameramen, makeup artist, producers, etc. During the ride one of the male actors–a cute, 23-year-old with curly blonde hair–confessed that this was his first hetero porn scene, and that even though he was straight, he’d only done gay scenes up until now. He seemed pretty nervous, and was asking Donna questions about how it would all go down.

“So, like… are you going to tell me when to fuck the girls?” he asked from the back of the van, his voice shaking. “How do I know when it’s the right time?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll help you,” Donna replied, not looking up from her phone.

“OK but like how–”

“Look,” she interrupted him, vaguely annoyed. “The main thing is, just don’t take your dick out if it’s not hard. No one wants a wet noodle–that’s a killjoy. And keep your clothes on. We don’t want you to be the naked person in the room. We want the girls to be the naked people in the room.” After that the boy didn’t ask any other questions, and instead spent the rest of the ride talking to the other male actor about how he might move to Australia because it “seems cool there.”

Meanwhile, I’m in the front of the van with Donna, contemplating whether or not I should fan-out at her about Bound Gang Bangs. I eventually went for it.

“Yeah, oh my god, it’s just the best,” I was saying, eyes wide. “My favorite episode is that one where the girl gets dragged out of that crib thing and then fucked by a group of men in stocking masks.”

“She’s in a cage?”

“No, not a cage, a crib.”

“Huh… I don’t know if I remember that one. Is the girl crying?

“Um, she’s not really crying but she’s life screaming for her life. I think they’re in a foreign country?”

“Oh, the Russian birthday rape! Yeah, I remember that. Really fun shoot.”

Princess Donna in makeup

Once we arrived at the location, it was time for hair and makeup. While in the makeup chair, someone asked Cherry Torn the inevitable question: What do your parents think about what you do? Cherry just shrugged. “Given my troubled youth, by the time my mom found out I did porn, she was just like, “At least it’s legal.”

The heavily dolled-up makeup artist was suddenly very interested. “Oooh, tell us about your troubled youth!” she said excitedly.

“Well, I just really liked sleeping with 40 year old men off the internet,” said Cherry. “From 15 on I was a total jailbait ho, basically.”

“Oh, I love that!” said the makeup artist, clapping her hands.

“Then at one point I ran away for a month with this 42 year old guy, and my mom, who works in law enforcement, ended up finding out where I was and came and found me in this really spectacular manner. But the real eye-opener for my mom was when I did this long interview for Huster’s Taboo, and the production assistant stupidly sent my free copies to the address on my license, which was my mom’s house. Inside was a photo of me expelling a milk enema, and me talking about how I want black eyes, how I like getting my ass reamed, old dudes, slavery–all of it. My mom was like, ‘They make some of this stuff up just for the magazine, right?’ I was like, ‘Yes, yes they do!’”

Cherry and Skin pre-gangbang
 
Casual pre-gangbang photoshoot!

By the time the show was about to start, the venue was packed with more than a hundred people. Princess Donna got up and addressed the crowd. “Feel free to get involved!” she said with a smile. “You can touch the models, slap them, touch their boobs, you can put your fingers in their pussies and their asses, but no fluid exchange,” she said sternly. “And no telling the models that they’re bad at their jobs. OK, enjoy!” I found those boundaries sort of strange–ass fisting from stranger: OK; professional insult from stranger: NOT OK–but I went along with it. And so did everyone else. I was genuinely surprised by how involved the crowd got, how comfortable everyone was in the situation, and just the overwhelming positivity of the atmosphere. I mean, I know this is “San Francisco sex mecca” or whatever, but the people in the audience weren’t your stereotypical sex freaks. They were hipsters. It was literally a hipster gangbang. And it was SO fun. Afterward I was having a conversation with someone about the possibility of something like Public Disgrace, or just interactive public sex in general, becoming a socially acceptable form of entertainment. Like, “What should we do on Friday–bar or public gangbang?” It seems a bit extreme, but that night seemed proof to me that it’s not an implausible future.

View from my hotel–Bye!
 
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gross but not boring

Pic by Nobuyoshi Araki

Working as a Dominatrix, over time one becomes–how should I put it?–desensitized to one’s surroundings. This is nothing out of the ordinary. It’s easy to imagine that a neuroscientist, at the beginnings of his career, might find it difficult to scissor the head off of an innocent little mouse, but that eventually this would become second nature. Basically, what was once thought to be horrific, even evil, can in time become totally NBD—the sort of thing one does while simultaneously re-Tumbling photos of cupcakes.

When I started working as a Domme, everything was overwhelming. For example, golden showers: the idea that men were willing to pay me to piss into their mouths completely floored me (and left me with the sinking feeling that I’d spent my life flushing millions down the toilet, literally). And then there was the stress of the execution. “Will I be able to go when it’s time to go?” “Will drinking too much coffee make my pee taste bitter, i.e. less expensive?” “How many hours before go-time should I start drinking water in order to facilitate maximum bladder-fillage?” Etc. However, two years down the line, I’m now able to casually shoot a tropical storm out of my vaj straight into the back of someone’s throat, on cue, without batting an eyelid.

And then there’s the issue of fucking guys in the ass. The first few times I did this, I found it disgusting (especially since most straight guys aren’t schooled in receiving anal, and thus are not good at “cleaning out”–barf.) Yet over time I’ve learned to deal with all the weird gunk that comes out of a person’s body in a very pragmatic, professional way. Kind of like a doctor, only not at all.

However, in a world of familiar extremes (as BDSM tends to be), often it’s the people and situations that you least expect that end up leaving you shell-shocked. For instance, a slave asking to be whipped and locked in a cage may seem extreme on a superficial level, but really this is just the BDSM equivalent of telling someone you’re “into music.” (Like, spare me, please.) Ultimately, it’s the more obscure, refined fetishes that prove most intriguing.  An example:

Recently, a Dominatrix friend of mine put me in touch with a client of hers who is “into sweating.” Sure, I thought, Nothing strange there. “Sweat porn is so hard to come by,” the client wrote to me in an email. “I’ve found a few videos where the actors get a bit moist from exertion, but usually it’s clear that they’re being oiled up or sprayed between takes, and 99% of sauna porn is just sex in a switched off sauna. What gives?!” My immediate assumption was that he’d want to lick sweat from my feet, or to do a sweaty role-play wrestling session or something. As it turns out, the session involved me drinking lemonade on the couch of his apartment while he put on layer after layer of flannel shirts, socks and sweatpants, and then processed to run (at a compromised speed, obviously) on the treadmill. Sometimes, when he’d slow down, I’d yell at him to run faster. About twenty minutes later, when he looked like he was about to die, he stopped and undressed. He then took his sweatiest layers of clothing, wrung them out into saucepan, and drank the excess. I sat across from him, sipping my lemonade, giggling, and telling him he was gross. Gross, but not boring, which is ultimately (and obviously) worse.

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New Pee Comics

Photo by Sandy Kim

My pee slave, Brad, gave me a couple new comic strips when he came over my apartment yesterday for a golden shower. The deal is that I pee and spit into his mouth, and occasionally kick him in the head or whatever, and in turn he gives me money and specially-made comic strips, all of which are themed around–duh!–urine. My refrigerator door is covered in these things. Brad is cool and stuff, and his comics always make me laugh, but TBH it’s annoying when, after I pee into his mouth, he sometimes starts choking and pukes some of the pee back up onto my floor. It’s like, “Uggghhhh, seriously Brad? Get yourself together.”

Enjoy Brad’s pee comics. Happy Saturday :)

And another one…

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Mistress Amanda Whip

In the most recent episode of the VICE Slutever show, embeded into the post below this one, I spent a day with the pro-Domme Mistress Amanda Whip, and she gave me #sexy beginners lessons in “BDSM for the bedroom”. However, there were large parts of my interview with her–specifically the parts about how she got her start as a dominatrix, and her career thus far–that were edited out of the final cut of the episode. But it was all sooo juicy, so I decided to publish it here as a Q&A. I hope this interview will be useful for some of you, as I’ve been getting a lot of emails recently from girls who are all like, “Uhhh… I want to make money beating up guys, can you teach me how to become a dominatrix?!” So if you’re one of those girls, PLEASE, read and learn! You’re welcome.

When did first become interested in fetish?
Mistress Amanda Whip: Well, I grew up in South Florida, which is a very sexually charged place, so from a very young age I was just aware of sexual… ya know… stuff. And then I started making erotic art–drawing pictures of sex, of nudity, and some minor fetish stuff crept its way in there too.

Like what?
I remember this one scene that I drew where a bunch of girls were jumping on a guy on a trampoline. So they were trampling him, basically. My friend’s mom found that one and got freaked out! And I loved drawing girls tied up.

I always wonder how much of our sexual desires are programed when we’re very young, like how much our parents influence what we’re “into” later on in life.
Well, my parents are pretty open-minded, and there was always a lot of nudity around me growing up. And my grandma was kind of a man-hating psycho, so I guess I’ve picked up some elements of my sexual personality from all of them! Like when I was about 3 or 4 my grandma has this boyfriend, and she would always encourage me to beat him over the head and do other evil things to him. I was a sadistic kid, and she really brought it out in me.

And when did you move more seriously into the world of BDSM?
I guess it was when I moved to New York and started going to fetish parties. I would go to the Bite Party at The Delancey, and Suspension—places like that. And they always had these “play areas” in the back where you could play one-on-one with “real life slaves.” Those were my first experiences beating up guys, or being dominant with them, like “Rub my back, rub my feet, get me drinks,” and stuff. I was like “Wow, I can’t believe this exists!” Guys would literally line up on their hands-and-knees to give me an eternal foot rub. And if I wanted to stick my heel down their throat and make them bleed, I could. They were there to serve.

Do you get paid at those types of parties?
Some of the guys will give you money, but most of them don’t. I didn’t have my hustle on back then, as I was only about 18 or 19, so I was doing it mostly for fun.

So when did you realize this was something you wanted to do professionally?
Well, I started out doing art modeling, and working at lap dance parties. And then I started doing fetish films, so I sort of worked backwards, actually. Basically I answered a casting call to perform in a fetish film at this small, independent BDSM space, and then afterward they asked me if I wanted a job as a dominatrix, and I just said OK.

And what did performing in the fetish film involve? Was there actual sex?
No. I’ve done some girl-on-girl videos, but the fetish films I did were mostly cock and ball torture, crushing, kneeing–stuff like that. Fun things!

So at this first job, were you a house Domme? I know lots of girls start out that way–they work on staff at a dungeon, and then clients come in and pick out the girl they want to session with. It’s sort of brothel vibes, but it’s an easy way to start out, and you get a lot of training and experience.
I wasn’t a house Domme actually. The main draw for me at that first place was that I only had to show up when I had a client, and they would find the clients for me. Granted, I didn’t get a ton of clients and it was kind of a mess, but it was an easy start.

The things that seems strange to me about working as a house Domme is that the initial situation, where you’re waiting for a client to pick you, seems quite submissive.
Yeah, that’s why I’ve never wanted to work in a major dungeon house–I don’t like the idea of sitting in a room with fifteen girls and a guy coming in saying, “Oh, I want that one,” and then afterward having to dominate him, when he just dominated me. But for a lot of girls that’s the only way they can get into it. But the great part about it is that when you work in a house, you instantly meet a clientele base that you can take with you when you decide to go independent.

Generally you get trained when you work in-house. Did you get any basic training?
In the first place I worked they did try to train me, but it was a little shady. Really the owner just wanted to get a free session with me as a submissive. He said I should be his sub to teach me how to be dominant. But it didn’t pan out the way he wanted, and I ended up forcing him to pay me for the session. Basically it was me and another girl, and he tied us both up and faced us away from him, and I looked out of the corner of my eye and saw him pull up the other girl’s dress and pull down his pants and start jerking off. I was like, “This is not what was discussed, “ and told him to never fucking do that again, and to hire me. Ha! So I wasn’t really formally trained, but I experimented and had friends who were Dommes, and I read a lot of fetish literature.

Some girls who work at dungeons work as a “switch.” How does that work?
That’s when you switch between being a Domme or a sub, depending on what is requested for the session. When I first started my boss was like, “You can work only as a Domme or you can be a switch, and switches get $300 an hour.” So I was like, “Okay, let’s try that and see what happens.” I let him know in the beginning that I’m not really a submissive, so I started doing light switch sessions, but it didn’t last long. I’m not good at taking orders and couldn’t keep my mouth shut, and I tended to anger the dominant guys. Like, this one guy threw a glass of water in my face because he got so angry at me for not obeying.

Is being a Domme a lucrative job for you?
Yeah, it pays my bills and gives me a nice life.

Is it the only way that you make money?
No, I do some burlesque here and there. I’ve been stage managing burlesque shows for a while, and I had a small chocolate making business for a while too.

Has there ever been a time when you were really grossed out or shocked during a session? Like, “What am I doing here? I’m a nice girl!”
Well, I don’t really consider myself a nice girl :) But there was this one intense time where a client wanted to eat my shit. But I wasn’t ready to pinch out a log on this dude, so I compromised and I told him I would sell him a bag of my used toilet paper. And the moment I was handing him a Ziploc bag of my used, shitty toilet paper, and he was looking at it like it was a bag of chips, in my head I was like, “How did I get here?”

Lol. Have you shit on anyone since then?
Not, I don’t like excrement. I’ll pee on someone if we have a good relationship and the money’s right, but that’s not my thing either. Although I’ve heard I have particularly sweet urine.

I’ve seen guys drink literally pints of pee, so much that they start choking and burping up pee burps.
The worst is when they’re laying on their back and you fill their mouth with pee to the brim, and then they just close their mouth and gulp and you know it’s a hot load of piss they just swallowed.

Yum! So, from your experience, why do you think so many guys like drinking pee so much?
A lot of them just like the humiliating aspect of drinking someone else’s waste. They like feeling like they’re a toilet. That, or they just like feeling close to a woman, and they feel that’s the best way for someone as lowly as themselves to do it.

You know when you love someone so much that you literally want to get inside their body, just so you can be as close to them as possible? Do you think pee drinking is kind of the same thing–wanting to get at what’s inside someone else?
Yeah, I don’t do a ton of piss stuff but I get a lot of guys who want me to spit in their mouths, and when I ask them about it they say they feel it’s the closest they can get to me. Also, a lot of this stuff is just about wanting attention. I think some people are just born feeling like they should be beneath other people. And others are in really powerful positions, or are the head of a household, and they just need to go somewhere and relax; they say seeing a Domme is like maintaining peace of mind. There are some foot fetishists who come in and just spend the whole hour under my feet, and it looks like they’re meditating, like it’s some sort of Zen thing. I get texts from them after like, “Thank you so much, now I can get through my week without going crazy!”

It’s a stereotype that high-powered businessmen, after bossing people around all day, see Dommes because they crave a role reversal. Do you think that stereotype is true?
Yes, for sure. But my clients are all across the board—old, young, professional types, DJs, musicians, shoe salesmen, lawyers, doctors. Everyone can have a fetish.

The only commonality I’ve seen between my own clients is that they’re usually white men.
That’s true. Well, I get some Asians. And Hasidic Jews are big, because they’re so repressed. They grow up thinking these crazy things about sex and who they are as sexual beings, and they don’t want to offend God or their people, but when they’re with their dominatrix they can be themselves and just get it all out.

Has a client ever surprised you with his reason for seeing you?
There was this one Hasidic Jew who told me that he’d had cancer as a child, and as part of his treatment I guess they’d zapped whatever it was that made him able to produce sperm. But, as an Orthodox Jew, you can’t get married or have a family unless you can ejaculate, basically, because you need to be able to have kids. So he came in because he couldn’t ejaculate and so desperately wanted a family, a life, a wife… everything. He’d already been to doctors, therapists, and sex therapists, and I was basically his last stop. And I actually did make him ejaculate, at least a little bit, by peeing on him and spitting on his nipple.

Whoa.
But after that he got so desperate and would call me at all hours, like, “I need to see you, ahhhh…!”, so I had to stop seeing him; it was too intense for me. I didn’t get into this business to get involved with something so deep.

What’s your favorite kind of session?
I really like a corporal session where it’s just me taking out my frustration on some guy. I like seeing a man squirm or flinch as I’m pulling back to whip him.

Have you ever felt unsafe during a session?
Generally I don’t, because I’m good at screening people and getting references, and the place I work now has security cameras, and the clients know that. However there was one situation a couple years ago when a crackhead came in and was smoking crack in front of me and blowing it in my face. He was pacing back and forth, sweating profusely, saying, “You want to hear about the most twisted, fucked up fantasy?” and then started talking about fucking dogs and kids. I was like, “You need to leave now, this isn’t the kind of session I do.” He spent a while searching for his crack rocks on the carpet before he actually left, but I eventually got him out the door.

What’s the most extreme request you’ve gotten from a client?
Once I was burning a guy with cigarettes and he asked me to burn his taint.

AHH! NO! Did you do it?
Of course! I didn’t burn him that bad, I just kind of kissed it with the cigarette. I also had this other guy–a human ATM, cash pig type–who wanted to sign over his power of attorney to me and put me on his bank account, but that ended up not working because he was a little too high maintenance for me.

I read another interview with you where you talked about farting in a client’s mouth.
Yeah, that was the guy that would buy my used toilet paper. I would give him the toilet paper, he would nibble on it, I would give him a bottle of my pee or whatever, a then, for the rest of the session, he just wanted me to fart in his mouth. It required a couple days of preparation of me just eating broccoli and loading up on food.

Sounds traumatizing. So, what do you like most about being a Domme?
I like meeting people and finding out about what’s going on inside their heads, where they come from, and what makes them tick. Especially if they are freaks, and you meet a lot of freaks first-hand in this job!

Do you think being a “freak” is bad?
No, not at all. I’m a freak! Think about it this way: there are a lot of people who live their lives repressed, who don’t acknowledge their desires. And then there are others, like my clients, who acknowledge what they want, and go out and seek it. And more power to them!

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All Things Araki

As you may remember, a couple months ago I posted an interview with one of my favorite photographers, Nick Haymes. The interview concerned his most recent book, Gabe, which is a five-year documentation of the life of Gabe Nevins, the young star of Gus Van Sant’s film Paranoid Park. Haymes is a man inspired by his muses, well known for following his subjects– often skaters and teenage misfits–for years at a time, building a catalogue of photographs that are at once intimate and voyeuristic, and sort of obsessive, but like, in a good way.

Well… Haymes recently opened a gallery in San Francisco called Little Big Man, and the first exhibition,”Past Tense—Future,” is a solo show from one of Japan’s most infamous art photographers, Nobuyoshi Araki. I’ve posted Araki’s photos on my blog many times before, as a lot of them are S&M related, and obvs I’m into that. And although in the West Araki is known mainly for his visions of erotica—nubile beauties in bondage, provocative nudes—he’s in fact one of the most prolific photographers of all time, as this exhibition attests, with works spanning more than three decades.

To accompany the opening of “Past Tense—Future,” Little Big Man is releasing To the Past, a limited edition book of Nobuyoshi’s photographs. The book is entirely black and white photography, and is printed chronologically as a photo diary, spanning more than 30 years of Araki’s life and work. The book is a testament to the immense range of his art, from his photos of S&M, to tender images of everyday life, to vivid still lifes, to the documentation of his wife’s death from cancer, and ending in photographs of the great Japanese earthquake in March, 2011.

“To the Past is a very honest book,” Haymes told me. “Araki, now in his 70s, is reflecting on his life, documenting emotional times and times of exuberance. Yet throughout the book there is a constant uncertainty of what the future may hold—images of Hiroshima, Araki battling with an illness, and finally the earthquake. It’s a book that teeters and treads nervously into an uncertain future.”

“Past Tense—Future” will run through Sept. 8. If you’re in San Fransisco, you should definitely go! I’ve posted some photos from the book/show below. Upcoming releases from Little Big Man publishing include photo books by Rona Yefman and Keizo Kitajima.