This Sugar Baby Cum Stripper Knows How to Hustle


The below was originally written as part of my “Sugar Babies” column for VICE.

Jacq is a 27-year-old writer and stripper. She grew up in Montreal, which is where she first discovered the sugar baby life, after which she became exceptionally good at getting stuff for free–especially nice meals. Jacq now lives in New York with her wife. With her tits out, she gathers stories, which she’s currently compiling into a book titled Flashing My Gash for Cash.

When did you start “working” as a sugar baby?

Jacq: When I was 20 I was bartending at this douchey club in downtown Montreal, and one night a guy came in and ordered a cocktail, gave me a hundred bucks and didn’t want change, which obviously got my attention. He was a Jordanian oil prince in his mid twenties, and was really sweet. The next day we met up for lunch and afterward I gave him a blow-job, but I would have fooled around with him more if I wasn’t on my period. He had this really beautiful cock, although when he took it out he said, “It’s handsome, right?” which kind of ruined it. Anyway, later we went shopping, and suddenly I had new shoes and Chanel perfume, and afterward I had this moment of, “Oh… so this is how the world works.”

Epiphany! So where did he take you for lunch?

He was visiting from out of town, so I took him to one of my favourite downtown spots, Sho-Dan. They have this sushi pizza that, at 20, I found really novel.

So did that experience pique your interest in sex work?

I wouldn’t have called it sex work yet. I had a middle class upbringing, I was at a fancy university–no on around me was a sex worker. But I was always interested in the idea of it, and I liked the attention and power and flirtation, but I didn’t want to have sex, necessarily. I just started to realize that life could be free. And so I started Googling…

Which led you to discover sugar daddy websites?

Exactly. At first, all the messages I got were from men who wanted me to travel with them, but I was like “Fuck no, I don’t want to get raped.” But eventually I got a message from this guy Sam who just said “Do you want to go shopping?” He was super old, like a grandpa, and he basically just watched me exist. He would take me out shopping and would say, “You can have anything you want.” So I told him I wanted Prada pumps, and he was like, “Let’s start with BCBG.” Lol. In a way, he was teaching me the process of these types of relationships–like, you can’t ask for Prada immediately, there’s a mutually beneficial exchange that has to develop over time.

What were your dates with him like?

For the first date we went to Kaizen, this sushi restaurant on Sherbrooke. It’s the kind of restaurant where they acupuncture the fish to sedate them in Japan, then ship them to Montreal where they take the acupuncture needles out, the fish starts flopping around again, and then they kill it. So it’s incredibly fresh, but it’s obscenely expensive, like $60 a roll or something. I got some bitchy cocktail like a lychee martini, and then ordered almost everything on the menu. My favorite was the lobster dragon roll. Sam just sat there smiling at me and barely ate anything.

Were you worried that he’d think it was tacky that you ordered so much?

No, I didn’t care, because I was starving. Like it was a necessity, I had no money. And I also didn’t care because I thought he was tacky for being on the website anyway. There’s this mutual judgment that lingers over all types of sex work. When I started working as a stripper, I’d look at the other strippers and be like “Eww, look at all these crack whores.” But that feeling dissipates pretty quickly. But you do judge your colleagues at first, and the strippers judge the men who come in, and the men judge the strippers, and so everyone is judging everyone, which means that everyone is fronting. But the flip side is that no one cares because you’re never going to see each other again. It’s like, “You’re paying $12 for a Bud Light to see my tits, which means that you’re an idiot, but I’m a slut, so whatever.” So in a way it’s kind of liberating–everyone’s just working their shit out and getting drunk and hating each other. “You’re paying $12 for a Bud Light to see my tits, which means you’re a horny idiot, and I’m a Dumb Slut, so let’s do this.” So in a way it’s kind of liberating–everyone’s just getting drunk and working out their daddy and mommy issues under black lights.

Did you ever hook up with Sam?

No, he was very grandfatherly, and not the type of grandfather who wants to fuck you. He didn’t even try. It’s not always just about having sex. Some guys get off on being seen with a beautiful woman.

Where else did you go with him?

We went to an upscale Greek place called Milos. You go to the back of the restaurant and there’s all these fresh fish on ice and you pick your fish. It’s sort of a novel experience. I was wearing a dress he bought me at Zara, which I bought in a rush and didn’t love. I’ve since learned that you should do your research before shopping with a sugar daddy–go and try stuff on, and remember where the stuff you want is located in the store, this way you can just grab it fast, because guys hate shopping for long periods of time. He didn’t take me shopping anywhere that upscale, but I mean, he bought me this amazing leather jacket at Zara that I still wear to this day.

So who was your next sugar daddy?

Oh god, he was this disgusting, balding guy with a ponytail who worked in construction and was a douchebag. He kept overtly looking under the table to check out my legs. For our first and only date we went to Garcon!, this French restaurant on Sherbrooke. I had a quail appetizer that was really good. The guy wanted me to go with him to Miami. Sugar daddies love Miami–it’s a thing.

Well it’s very classy there. So when did you decide to cross over from the world of sugar babies to stripping?

Well, I had moved to Australia for a while, and did not anticipate the astronomical cost of living. I had just met this girl who was cute and broke. I remember trying to withdraw money to buy us pizza, and it said ‘Insufficient funds.” And I was just like “Fuck it, I’m going to be a stripper.” And I immediately loved it.

Why do you like it?

I love the performance, the costuming, the immediate gratification of cold, hard cash, and the sluttery–being a slut is fun! Also, you can form sincere relationships. And sure, they do have seuxal undertones, but everyone has relationships like that in real life; I just turn a profit from it. Everyone’s always sucking someone’s dick in some capacity, so in a way I think that makes sex work the most honest work. (Although realistically I haven’t given a blowjob in six years.)

Do you find that people are surprised when you say you like your job?

I do! It’s unfortunate that the only socially acceptable way to be a sex worker is to hate men–you’re supposed to be exploitative, vindictive and to cheat people out of their money. Because enjoying sexual
interactions that you’re being paid for, whether you’re fucking the guys or just listening to them bitch about their bosses, makes people uncomfortable.It’s easier for people to slut-shame than to wrap their heads around the fact that a woman is in control of her body and –gasp–making money off it.

What did you think of Steven Soderbergh’s portrayal of sex work in The Girlfriend Experience, where Sasha Grey plays a high class escort?

I like that movie, but dammit, why is everyone in it so vapid? Sasha Grey is so smart and self-aware in real life, and the movie just made her seem like a dumbass in nice lingerie. You need a little bit of intellectual capacity for emotional compassion, but they just make her seem like this two-dimensional fuck machine… but alas, male fantasies are seldom complex.

So you think deep down clients just want you to be a hot robot?

Well, I find that when you surprise clients by getting under their skin, or impressing them with your wit, they find it quite jarring, because you’re not playing into the fantasy. They interpret it as you letting your guard down–as vulnerability–rather than as independence and autonomy. They expect you to be dumb, basically, so when you’re not dumb, they’re like, “Oh, she’s real!” And sometimes they like it, but sometimes they find it intimidating. So you’re negotiating those boundaries all the time.

Do you ever go on sugar-daddy-ish dates with your stripper clients?

I haven’t in a long time. I’m married now, and part of the agreement I have with my wife is that work stays at work. But before we met I was working the day shift at a stripclub in midtown Manhattan, and afterward I’d often go for dinner with one of the guys from the club–they always ask the dancers to hang out afterward–because it meant getting a nice, free meal. I’d usually want oysters, and one of my favorite places around there was Bistro Chat Noir, on the Upper East Side near the park. Guys love to watch you eat oysters, because it’s like you’re sucking back on their cum.

Ooh, good tip!

There’s a guy who comes into the strip club a lot who always gets a private room with me and this other dancer. He orders food to the room–strip clubs in New York often have restaurants in them because of certain laws–and just sits there watching us feed each other porterhouse steak and shrimp scampi. Compared to most restaurants, strip club food would be considered disgusting, but when you’re drunk and starving it tastes amazing.

That’s not what I ever imagined went on in those private rooms.

Yeah, a lot of guys just get rooms to do a bunch of coke. I recently had a couple come in and fuck in front of me. The girl was like “I’m bi!”, but was clearly the straightest girl in the world, and was pretending to be into me. So they fucked on the couch and I shouted words of encouragement from the adjacent chair.

So have you ever hooked-up with any of your clients from the club or websites?

No, I’m pretty gay, honestly. And I’ve always known I could get things without having to fuck anyone, which has been a blessing and curse, because I’ve taken it too far–once I flew to Paris with a client and he obviously expected me to fuck him and I didn’t. He was really mad by the end! But honestly, the couple times I tried fooling around with sugar daddies I got really bummed out. I just hated it, and I acknowledged that it just wasn’t something I personally felt comfortable doing.

So on sugar daddy dates, can you get given cash if you don’t fuck the guys, or is it just presents and stuff?

Yeah, I usually didn’t get cash just to hang. I’ve successfully been paid $1k just for a date twice in my career, but that’s hard to negotiate. You basically have to make the argument that a night of your time is worth a grand, because that’s how much you could be making at the club. But guys don’t generally like paying a grand not to fuck you.

What does your wife think about what you do?

She’s totally respectful and supportive of my stripping career.  But the dates outside of the club are a thing of the past. Something I think a lot of people don’t acknowledge is that you can be a sex worker and have a relationship, and they don’t really intersect that much.

Sugar Tits: Teach Me How To Do It

Images taken from the Sugar Tits Tumblr

Recently I’ve been toying with the idea of becoming a stripper. The inspiration came when I was in Las Vegas a couple weeks ago: some friends and I went to a strip club–my first since I was sixteen–and I was so in awe of the strippers and their ability to use their bodies to hypnotize an entire room that I could barely speak. And then suddenly, as I was slipping a $5 bill into a stripper’s thong, I thought Oh my god, THIS is my true calling. THIS is where I belong! It was like a revelation or whatever. So then when I got back to New York I excitedly applied to a few strip clubs. However, when it came time to audition, I got cold feet. The thing is, I know I’m good at taking my clothes off (duh), but I have no clue how to pole dance. Or really how to dance at all. I felt I needed a mentor.

So… I decided to enlist the help of my favorite sex blogger, Sugar Tits. You probably already know Sugar Tits from her anonymous slut blog where she writes about her various S&M relationships, giving out blow-jobs in the public bathrooms of Milan, and (more recently) her life as a stripper. She even wrote about having orgasms mid-striptease… wtf? She’s also written some stuff for Slutever, like this article about her Master buying her her first dog collar, and this article about getting into the stripping business. Below you can read my discussion with her about stripping, romance, and why being treated like shit can be such a turn on.

Why did you decide to become a stripper?
Sugar: Well, last October I went out to a strip club with some friends and one of the strippers invited me onstage, and after dancing to “Marry The Night” I realized how lolz and fun it could be. And also being treated like a whore is a real turn on for me.

Where did you work?
It was this really shitty club way out in the ghetto of Milan where they claim Led Zeppelin went once–they call it “Lap Zeppelin”. It was the trashiest, most perfect strip club I could have ever dreamed of. I thought they were going to make me audition, but when I showed up the guy was just like “OK you’ve got small tits but a nice face and you know how to talk so you’re fine, you start tomorrow.”

Were you nervous that you were going to suck at it?
So nervous! Right after that I went home and watched all these Lindsay Lohan stripping videos to try and prepare myself, because I was clueless, and the next night I went in and all these girls were flipping around on poles and I was freaking out. Then eventually the DJ called me onstage (I used my real name because I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to), but I didn’t realize that the DJ actually directs you–like first he tells you when you can strip, and then when to take your bra and underwear off–so I went up and just took everything off at once and was sashaying around and touching myself or whatever. Then a few minutes later I got bored and walked offstage, and the other girls were like, “Bitch, you have to finish your fifteen minute set!” so then I had to retreat back to the stage like an idiot.

Yeah. And I also didn’t realize that when you get offstage you have to go to the dressing room and put your clothes back on, so I was just prancing around naked until someone yelled at me. So that was embarrassing. The first night was kind of a disaster. But then little by little it becomes easier, and drinking makes it more fun, and stripper shoes are amazing and help you to slide around. By the end I was at least Lindsay Lohan ‘I Know Who Killed Me’ level.

The reason I think I’d like stripping is because the power dynamic seem so hot. Like you’d think the guys are in control because they are paying you to be the whore and take your clothes off, but then the act of paying to see naked girls is sort of pathetic in itself, and the fact that they clearly want to fuck you and can’t means you are really the one in control… ya know?
Yeah, exactly! It’s actually really complex and enlightening, because as you know I’m really submissive sexually, but stripping was the first time in my life that I actually felt sexually dominant. Spending a night in a room full of men that are willing to pay to just look at you naked is such an ego trip. I felt more powerful in that job than I ever have, but also more fucking degraded at the same time–it was amazing, the perfect mix of strong female and slut.

So is it true that you would cum while stripping? That’s so crazy! Kitten Natividad–one of Russ Meyer’s vixens–who I interviewed recently also talked about cumming while stripping; she became famous for it. She said she loved watching guys lust after her.
Honestly Karley, I was cumming like five times a night, it was amazing. And that’s crazy for me because I almost never cum during sex. Mostly I would cum while giving dances in the private rooms, so like I’d be dancing and touching myself but some gross man with a huge boner would be touching my butt at the same time, so it was perfect.

That’s insane. So can you pole dance? I recently got an audition at a strip club but I didn’t go because I was scared I was going to fall off the poll like an idiot.
No I can’t, but it didn’t really matter because in Italy it’s more about seeing a girl naked than about watching her dance. It’s very classy here! In Italy the guys can do whatever they want to strippers–they can lick your pussy or put their fingers in your ass or whatever, they just have to keep their pants on.

Whoa. Most clubs here girls don’t even get fully nude–they wear thongs.
I’m sure you can find some trashy, totally nude place where they won’t care if you can dance. That’s the thing: if it’s more about nudity and touching then they care less about the dancing, and vice-versa.

What was your favorite type of guy to dance for?
The gross ones, for sure. My favorite client was a disgusting old bald guy in a wheelchair. Not that wheelchairs are gross, but definitely the most unlikely male prospects were my favorites–like the really fat guys who you know never get laid. The young hot guys who would come to party would normally be jackasses. And also it was like, if I wanted to fuck a hot guy then I’d just go to a bar and find a hot guy, ya know?

Were you making a lot of money?
OMG, so much money.

So why did you quit?
OK, so I told everyone that I quit stripping because it wasn’t fun anymore, and I haven’t even written about this on Sugar Tits yet, but the truth is that I liked it so much that I had to cut myself off. Like Karley, at the end of it, I was giving out blow-jobs to guys in the private rooms for free because it turned me on so much. Like if I really liked a guy, or if a guy was super pathetic and disgusting, I would just suck his dick. I felt like such a whore, it was so amazing. But the next day I would feel bad about myself, firstly because I was being “unprofessional” or whatever, and also because the whole club could get in trouble if I got caught. And as I started doing it more and more I started having so many personal issues with it that I had to quit. I was afraid I was becoming obsessed with stripping.

But seriously it was one of the best experiences of my life and I have no regrets. I think I’ll start again after I graduate from university, but I think if I’d kept going the way I was I would have ended up getting into trouble.

Sugar Tits: I know who she is and you don’t, haha! :)

So going back to when you said you almost never cum during sex…
Yeah, it’s hard for me. Like I’ve fucked about 100 guys and only my ex-Master–let’s call him Jake–and a handful of others have made me cum.

How did your relationship with Jake start?
Well the story is really interesting and kind of romantic. Basically, I always knew there was something missing in my sex life, and I think that’s probably why I was so promiscuous–because I was “searching for something” or whatever. Then one day about two years ago Jake came up to me at a party and asked if I wanted to model in a shoot for this art/porn magazine that he publishes. So I said yes, and a week later we were at the shoot and I was lying there being fingered by the male porn star, and then out of nowhere Jake walked up and just slapped me in the face. It was the first time anyone had ever slapped me and I loved it. And then that whole night we were making out, and on our second date I asked him, “How did you know I would like that, considering I didn’t even know?” And he was like, “I could see it in your eyes, you’re just that type of girl–you just needed someone to slap you.”

Wow, that is romantic. Tell me about the first time you guys had sex.
It was at a swingers club; he brought me as his date. It was this really disgusting place full of young and old couples drinking, and then he took me downstairs and there were a bunch of differently themed rooms and a dungeon, and we fucked on a bed while these gross guys watched us.

And you ended up having a pretty intense Dom/sub relationship with him, right?
Yeah, I was his slave. He introduced me to that whole world, and it changed my life. The only fights Jake and I ever had were about where “the line” was. See, I wanted there to be specific times when I was “the slut”, but the rest of the time I wanted him to respect me, but it’s hard to draw that line with guys because they’re mostly dumb.

So how did you work it out?
He ended up buying me a dog collar, so whenever I had the collar on I was “his”, and whenever I didn’t he couldn’t control me.

Were you in love with him?
Yeah, I became totally obsessed with him and our breakup really destroyed me. And I hate to admit that because it makes me sound so helpless and weak, but for him I was. I guess there’s always that one person who you’re just a dumbass for. Sometimes I regret Jake being the first guy I had that type Dom/sub experience with, because I think I wasn’t good enough at it yet. When I look back I think, God, I should have been more patient, or not been so needy, or not cried when he whipped me a hundred times or whatever…

Yeah, but if you were more patient or didn’t give a shit then it would have made his restraint less effective. The fact that you wanted him so badly was a huge part of your dynamic.
That’s true.

When I was younger I used to fuck this really dominant older guy, and I swear he liked not fucking me more than he liked fucking me, just because he loved watching me beg. He loved to see me desperate. I remember once he invited me over, and I hadn’t seen him in weeks and was so excited to fuck him, and when I got to his house he tied me up and left me there for hours while he went and did some work, and then when he finally came back he just jerked-off on me and then sent me home. It was SO frustrating, but to be honest I’ve been masturbating to that memory for like four years now.
OMG Jake was the same! He would only fuck me like once a month! And I’d be like “Please, please!” and he’d be like “Shut up, bitch.” But you know, they do it for you. They want to fuck you, but they know that you want to feel like a greedy whore, and that you want some man to be like “You can’t have this cock!” because that’s so opposite to what actually happens on a daily basis.

So true.
And after he ties you up and makes you wait forever, when he finally does come and fuck you it’s the most amazing thing ever, because you want it so badly.

So, so true. Gosh, mind games really work, huh?
I hate to say it but they really do. I think I told you this once, but your story just reminded me of the time that Jake invited me over his house for dinner, and I was all excited, like, “Aww he’s cooking for me! Wow!” And so I showed up and he just tied me up under the kitchen table and made me wait there while he ate by himself, and kicked me under the table the whole time.

But the things about these sorts of relationships is that you need to know that the Dom actually cares about you in order for it not to fuck you up. There’s a fine line between role play and real life.

I think the idea of being submissive is a turn on for a lot of people, and you can fantasize or watch porn with that dynamic, but once you actually experience good S&M sex it changes your sex life forever. Like after fucking that older Dom guy I was scared I’d never be able to enjoy normal sex again.
Exactly! It ruins your life kind of! That’s why I was so hung up on Jake for long–because of the sex. Since Jake, what used to be “good in bed” just doesn’t cut it anymore. It sucks! And I’ll ask guys to slap me and stuff, but they just get really freaked out. We are the minority I think. Like it’s surprising how many guys just want to have vanilla sex, even on a dirty one night stand. It’s like, “Dude, I’m not your wife, I’m some bitch that you picked up on the street that you’re never going to see again and I’m begging you to beat the shit out of me and you won’t do it!”

What is wrong with everyone actually?
Also, if you have to ask someone to spank you it kind of defeats the purpose. Like in theory if you ask a guy to pull your hair he should tell you to shut the fuck up and then do something a lot worse.

You should give men lessons on how to abuse women.
Lol… I wouldn’t say no.

The Most Glorious Bamboobas in the World

Kitten Natividad has some of the most infamous boobs in the history of Hollywood. Perhaps best known for her 44-inch chest and her ability to cum while doing a striptease, Kitten is one of Russ Meyer’s legendary ultra-vixens and his former girlfriend. And for realzies, you know your tits are some of the best in the world if Meyer—the supreme auteur of sexploitation flicks—is your main squeeze for 15 years.

Kitten was born in 1948 in Juarez, Mexico. Following a sketchy Tijuana boob job at 21, she moved to LA and worked as a go-go dancer. Her career as a stripper led her to Meyer, who cast her in films such as Up! and Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens.

Kitten’s aggressive sexual prowess has cemented her reputation as one of the most influential women in cult erotica. Some of her many naked achievements include: stripping at Sean Penn’s bachelor party before his marriage to Madonna, becoming a queen of burlesque, acting in a bunch of (questionable) 80s porn movies, and starring in Eroticise—quite possibly the trashiest, most ridiculous workout video ever made. Sadly, in 1999 Kitten was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a double mastectomy. However, she has since gotten new boobs (again) and says, “Any guy who says he doesn’t like a pair of plastic tits can go fuck himself.” You said it, Kitten!

What was Hollywood like in the 70s? Watching films from that time make it seem like it was a totally different deal back then.
Kitten Natividad: It was fucking fabulous. Everybody did cocaine and lots of drugs—you’d go to a party and you could smell the amyl nitrite in the air like dirty socks. And lots of orgies. That was the time before AIDS, so it was very open.

How did you meet Russ Meyer?
I was introduced to him by my friend I stripped with, Shari Eubank. She was the star of his film Supervixens. Russ liked to use strippers in his movies because they don’t have issues with running around naked. When he’d get an actress she’d say, “Do I have to be naked? It might be bad for my career, blah blah blah.” And he’d be like, “Fuck this, I’m getting a stripper.”

What was it like working under him? And I mean that in terms of his directing.
It was great, but we fucked during all of our lunch breaks. He was a horny dude, a dirty old man.

Were you in an open relationship?
Oh God, no! He was very jealous—very possessive and controlling—which is why I never married him. He always wanted to be the director—where we ate, what we did, everything. I’d say, “I’m going to visit my mother,” and he’d say, “Why? You’ve got me, you don’t need a mother.”

I read somewhere that you introduced him to anal sex and he didn’t like it.
No, he didn’t, he found it weird. I think some guys get freaked out because they feel like they might be gay. I’d say to him, “Does it make you feel like you’re fucking a guy, is that what’s wrong?” He was pretty white-bread.

Have you boned any other interesting famous people?
I feel bad kissing and telling, although most of them are dead. Um… Tony Curtis, Tom Selleck, who was fabulous in bed, Don Adams… He had a big one.

Why did you get into porn in the 80s?
I got into alcohol, and I was just drunk and didn’t know any better. I needed the money, but I looked terrible. If I was going to do porn, I should have done it when I looked my best. I ruined that shit! But it was part of my journey, so I don’t have any regrets. I did what I did.

Did you enjoy doing it at the time?
It was such hard work! You know, for one hour of tape it takes eight hours of fucking. Who the fuck does that?! It’s painful, and you just want to get it over with, but then you have to get shots from behind and underneath and move the bed and move the camera—just fuck fuck fuck fuck. And by that time the money wasn’t that good and it wasn’t glamorized anymore, so it was just horrible.

After your double mastectomy, did it feel like you lost part of your identity?
Yes! It’s like a singer getting throat cancer—they were taking my moneymakers! The doctors told me, “Everything’s going to be OK—we have to remove them, but you can have reconstruction.” I said, “Then I don’t give a shit, just throw them out the window!”

So they just chucked them out and gave you new ones like a pair of socks or something?
Yes, but I had them made a little bit smaller, because when they get too big they become uncomfortable—like you roll over the wrong way and your elbows pinch them, or you’re walking around and they accidentally knock over a lamp. It’s a pain in the ass.

I hate when that happens. So, the cancer was a result of your Tijuana boob job, right?
Yes they were loose, silicon injections. I didn’t get implants because I didn’t like the way implants looked–like toilet plungers. But I found out later that it was not industrial silicone. It was like gasoline or something, and it rotted my tits! A lot of my friends have gone through the same breast cancer as I have for that reason. But Russ was great and paid for my implants, and paid for me when I had my cancer. He was always there for me. And then when he became an old timer and got Alzheimer’s I took care of him. It was one of those relationships that lasted a lifetime.