In this short vid, I pay a visit to Vibe Bar, an exclusive Japanese bar and sex shop where clientele can drink and shop for dildos all at once. — Karley Sciortino
This Week in Sex: November 20
Weekly sex news from Slutever. This week’s link roundup touches on everything from vibrator surveillance to Nicki Minaj to your new fave Norwegian lesbian horror flick. Happy reading, sluts!
Are Orgasms a Human Right? This FREE Sex Toy Project Thinks So
We chatted with Sexy Liberation, aka the women giving out FREE sex toys. Here’s the deal… By Lizzi Sandell.
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It’s Masturbation May: Now Go Fuck Yourself, Literally
In honor of this national month of self-love, here’s a few reasons why masturbation is so #relevant (with a nod to some of our favorite sex toys). By Karley Sciortino Continue reading “It’s Masturbation May: Now Go Fuck Yourself, Literally”
Two Smart Girls Create a Vibrator You Can Wear
Two women—one with a degree in psychology from Columbia, the other with a degree in engineering from MIT—combine their powers to make a wearable vibrator. By Erika Allen. Continue reading “Two Smart Girls Create a Vibrator You Can Wear”
Blow-Job Lessons and Aphrodisiacs at NYC’s Pleasure Chest
Last night, I went to a highly aroused Valentine’s party at the Pleasure Chest, on Manhattan’s Upper East Side. The party was celebrating the 20th anniversary of Fun Factory, an innovative sex toy company that I have to thank for many of my recent orgasms. I wore my new favorite outfit—a leopard print skirt with a pink puffy top and my festive heart handbag. My inspo was “Elle Woods at a sex toy party” (however some guy at the event told me I reminded him of Heidi Montag… sigh).
Party goers were greeted by hot go-go dancers in the store’s display windows. Inside, we were served various aphrodisiac hors d’oeuvres and wine (aka my preferred aphrodisiac) while being given instructional talks about sex toy. So basically, a sexpert would hand you a farm-to-table beef taco and champagne and then be like “are you aware of the transcendental pleasures of this environmentally friendly buttplug?” Sort of a strange combination… but def strange in a good way.
You may remember the Pleasure Chest as the store where Miranda takes Carrie and Charlotte to buy the “rabbit” vibrator, after which Charlotte becomes addicted to it… (as side the whole world, basically). But beyond that iconic pop culture moment, the Pleasure Chest is definitely worth a visit. For one, they give totally FREE sex-ed workshops! Every Wednesday! (But actually, for V-day, they have now workshops every single day.) They have everything from feminine-dominance classes, to advanced rope bondage courses. But apparently their most popular class is the blow-job workshop. Makes sense. At the party, I had a chance to talk to the store’s manager, Victor Tobar, who told me, “The focus of our programs is to offer pleasure-based sex-positive education, which pushes back against the sex-negative abstinence-only sex-ed that most of us get in school.”
But besides offering free degrees in deep-throating, what makes the Pleasure Chest special is that it’s very inclusive, and just a really chill vibe. Like, you know how a lot of times when you go into a sex store it’s like in a basement, and is sort of creepy? Well this store isn’t like that—it’s way chic. Also, a lot of sex shops tend to focus primarily on female sexuality, but PC is very inclusive of all genders and sexual orientations. “The Pleasure Chest is everyone’s sex shop,” said Tobar. “We get our neighbors here on the Upper East Side coming in, who are sometimes straight couples in their 80s; we have young LGBT folks coming from downtown; we get beginners who have never been to a sex store before, and pros who have been in the BDSM scene for decades, so it’s a super diverse mix of customers.” Plus, the store is an NYC sex-scene staple. The store’s original location (which still exists) opened in the West Village in 1971.
Fun Factory—the sex toy company that the party was in honor of—also has a really cool history. It was founded 20 years ago by two engineers, Dirk Bauer and Michael Pahl, after their lesbian friend told them that the sex toys on the market for women were tragic, basically. “Fun Factory were really pioneers in the sex industry,” said Kristen Tribby (director of marketing and education at Fun Factory) at last night’s party. “They were the first to make a rechargeable waterproof toy, and also the first to make sex toys out of medical grade silicone. Other companies do this now too, but we’re still the only company where the material is regulated. In Germany, where our factory is, sex toys are considered a health product, so it’s a regulated industry. Everything else on the market comes from China and isn’t regulated at all, which is why a lot of sex toys say ‘for novelty use only.’”
I was told by multiple people (Tribby included) that the most exciting new toy in the store was the Bi Stronic Fusion, which is special because it basically thrusts in and out of your vaj, but it also has an extended arm that vibrates to stimulate your clit at the same time. Sounds future. Currently, I’m a single bisexual and using the Miss Bi.
Me and Zhana!
Obviously, the archangel of sex positivity, Zhana Vrangalova, was at the party. (You know Zhana, who does the Ask a Sex Researcher column for Slutever.) In between caressing the abs of the topless bartender in the main image, she was broadcasting the party live on her periscope channel. When I asked Zhana why she loved Pleasure Chest, she told me, “It’s just the most beautiful, sexy, classy sex store ever. Often, the first few times people go into a sex store it’s this dingey, sketchy place that makes you feel gross or awkward. But the Pleasure Chest is the opposite of that. I want to live here.”
And lastly, here’s a not-totally-readable flyer with all the upcoming free sex-ed workshops at Pleasure Chest! Or you can just go to their website :)
Words by Karley Sciortino. Photos by Aria Eastwood. (Follow her on Insta yo)
This post was brought to you in Partnership with Pleasure Chest <3
That Moment When Your Mom Finds Your Dildo
I left high school with much to be desired in the sex department, and a dildo as a parting gift. Then came a sexual awakening. And then… well, you know where this is going. Words by Misha Scott. Photo by Petra Collins.
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Ask a Porn Star: Vanessa Veracruz
Porn whisperer Vera Papisova gets the dish from girl/girl performer Vanessa Veracruz about the art of cunnilingus and why camming is an awesome job. Photo by Shameless. Continue reading “Ask a Porn Star: Vanessa Veracruz”
Ask a Porn Star: Joanna Angel
Porn whisperer Vera Papisova gets the dish from Joanna Angel about relationship games, competing with your own fleshlight, and why “feminist porn” can be annoying. Illustration by Maggie Dunlap. Continue reading “Ask a Porn Star: Joanna Angel”
Ask Slutever: Lesbian Porn, and Myths about Female Intimacy
By Karley Sciortino //
I’m a straight, 35-year-old mother of two, and I’ve been plagued with a question that I find rather confusing. So, lesbians use dildoes, toys, etc. It’s erotic, toys makes you come faster, and you get orgasms one after the other—great, right? But where is the intimacy? The sex is erotic, and more orgasms, I get it, but in terms of actually making love, where is the passion? Don’t you need a balance? How do lesbians make love with meaningful intensity? I’m an avid porn watcher and recently my husband wanted to watch lesbian porn. I watched too, and it was interesting, however I wondered about the intimacy level. I suppose gays can hold each other and kiss whilst making love, and straight people can use a dildo, which kind of makes this questionable. I am not being offensive, I am just really curious. Annabel
As someone who’s had serious relationships with both men and women, I feel very adept at answering this question. (Like sometimes I’m realistically just taking a stab in the dark, ya know? But this one I got.) First of all, I need to stress that lesbian porn has nothing to do with how two women actually have sex! Like at all. 99% of the time, lesbian porn is a fantasy scenario created for straight men, where feminine, mostly-heterosexual women are touching and licking each other in a way that displays their bodies for a male audience. Believe me, in the “real world” it’s not normal for two college roommates to spend their afternoons in full makeup and thigh-highs, using a double-ended dildo on the kitchen floor and then fucking each other with their high heels… or whatever. Lesbian sex can be equally as loving, intense and transcendent—and equally as disappointing and detached—as straight sex.
I’m kind of amazed, sort of in a good way, that you asked this question, because I feel like the stereotype of lesbian sex tends to be the exact opposite of this. When people think of two girls banging, they tend to think of something really romantic, slow, sensual—basically, “feelings-ey”—because, unlike men, women are reductively thought to be “super emotional” and to need a deep connection with someone in order to enjoy sex with them. Whereas straight sex is known to range from incredibly loving, to kinky, to boring, to blacked-out Tinder hook-ups. Since I’ve been with my girlfriend, I often feel I have to fight to be like, “Hey, we can be disgusting and dirty too!” Maybe you should watch Blue is the Warmest Color, because there’s a few very intense lesbian sex scenes in that movie that are very passionate, loving and hot, and don’t involve toys at all (or, there’s no toys as far as I can remember). Also, the Chilean movie Young and Wild, about a bisexual sex blogger, has some very realistic lesbian sex in it.
Also, not all lesbians use toys. My girlfriend and I hardly ever use them. Maybe 40% of the time I use a vibrator, but that ratio is about the same as when I’m having sex with men. We’ve used a strap-on like 4 times ever in almost 3 years, and every time we use it I’m just loling to myself about the fact that we’re using a giant plastic purple fake dick.
But all of this is kind of beside the point, because the use of sex toys doesn’t determine whether a sexual experience is intimate or not. Intimacy is certainly not about toys, and it’s about a lot more than just sex— it’s about connecting with another person on an emotional level. Sure, a vibrator can help you cum, but the cumming is really secondary to the closeness you feel for your partner anyway. And yes, as you put it: “gays can hold each other and kiss whilst making love.” Lol, duh! Gay people are just people—shock, horror!—and gay sex is just sex.