The Gift

“What are you doing?”


“Come and fuck me.”




“But why?”

“What do you mean why? You’re insatiable. I’ve given you The Gift twice in the past 12 hours.”

“Yeah but I’m still horny.”

“Look, I have a lot of work to do, and I can’t get anything done with you around, constantly trying to drain me of my life force.”

“I don’t want all of it. Just, like, a mouthful.”

“I’ve given you too much of it already. You’re ungrateful.”

“That’s not true. I value each and every time you allow me to ingest your semen, whether it be orally, intravaginally or anally.”


“So wait… are you saying I should just masturbate?

“Did you know that Carlos Castaneda had magical sperm?”

“Um, no.”

“He said that his magic sperm went straight to a woman’s brain, transforming it into a superior organ. His semen was so precious that he would make his lovers put cotton inside themselves after sex, to ensure none of it dripped out.”

“That’s… interesting.”

“Yes, well, he and I have something in common. Not to mention my semen has antidepressant effects.”

“Right, I agree completely, which is why I think it’s unfair that you’re being so selfish with it.”

“I’m done with this conversation. Are you in the mood for a quick vocab quiz?”

“Not particularly.”

Photo by Matthew Stone



12 Replies to “The Gift”

  1. Maybe I’m demented, but I don’t see what is wrong with this conversation (or emotionally abusive) (oh, or embarrassing). I would enjoy having this exchange with the dude I’m seeing because I like swallowing his cum AND I like when he teases me about how insatiable I am. I thought it was relatable. I even went back and re-read it to see if I was missing something. For real? It’s awesome, whatevs.

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