The Gift

October 20, 2011

“What are you doing?”


“Come and fuck me.”




“But why?”

“What do you mean why? You’re insatiable. I’ve given you The Gift twice in the past 12 hours.”

“Yeah but I’m still horny.”

“Look, I have a lot of work to do, and I can’t get anything done with you around, constantly trying to drain me of my life force.”

“I don’t want all of it. Just, like, a mouthful.”

“I’ve given you too much of it already. You’re ungrateful.”

“That’s not true. I value each and every time you allow me to ingest your semen, whether it be orally, intravaginally or anally.”


“So wait… are you saying I should just masturbate?

“Did you know that Carlos Castaneda had magical sperm?”

“Um, no.”

“He said that his magic sperm went straight to a woman’s brain, transforming it into a superior organ. His semen was so precious that he would make his lovers put cotton inside themselves after sex, to ensure none of it dripped out.”

“That’s… interesting.”

“Yes, well, he and I have something in common. Not to mention my semen has antidepressant effects.”

“Right, I agree completely, which is why I think it’s unfair that you’re being so selfish with it.”

“I’m done with this conversation. Are you in the mood for a quick vocab quiz?”

“Not particularly.”

Photo by Matthew Stone



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  • Reply Liz October 21, 2011 at 4:12 am

    Loving the new top banner!

  • Reply MissJay October 21, 2011 at 7:52 am

    a conversation between you an hamilton?

  • Reply yung jung October 21, 2011 at 9:59 am

    God I love Hammy.

  • Reply edith October 21, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    this reminds me of myself :(

  • Reply khh October 21, 2011 at 6:22 pm

    what’s been happening to men lately?

  • Reply salamander October 21, 2011 at 6:28 pm

    Who is that GODDESS in the photo above?

  • Reply milk October 23, 2011 at 6:48 pm

    “Pro-Domme” being emotionally abused by IRL Dom.


  • Reply gunderscores October 23, 2011 at 11:52 pm

    Just managed to get “The Gift” twice today form the guy I’m seeing by reading him the post. THANK YOU

    • Reply karleyslutever October 24, 2011 at 4:23 am


  • Reply eggwhites October 25, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    I would be embarrassed to publicize that my boyfriend talked to me like this. Just sayin’.

  • Reply Kylie October 26, 2011 at 1:02 am

    the chick that said you were embarrassing needs to get a lyf. why read slutever. i like this post.

  • Reply Kate November 14, 2011 at 6:43 am

    Maybe I’m demented, but I don’t see what is wrong with this conversation (or emotionally abusive) (oh, or embarrassing). I would enjoy having this exchange with the dude I’m seeing because I like swallowing his cum AND I like when he teases me about how insatiable I am. I thought it was relatable. I even went back and re-read it to see if I was missing something. For real? It’s awesome, whatevs.

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