Three’s a Crowd: Can an Open Relationship Work?

The latest installment of my Breathless column for Vogue is up now! It’s about the trials and tribulations of my current open relationship. Over sharing! Woops…

You can read it HERE!



8 Replies to “Three’s a Crowd: Can an Open Relationship Work?”

  1. Great post. Exactly captures what I’m thinking/feeling/going through. I don’t want to be seen as a slut, and I truly like dating one person at a time, but I start to feel trapped the moment they ask if we can be exclusive, and when we try open things it works at first and then jealousy takes over…

  2. Fantastic post! I’m in the planning/rule setting stage of my poly relationship and these post are helping immensely. Also, congrats on the column!

  3. Great article, I’ve been with my partner 12 years, we tried an open relationship off and on over the years, but as we slide into our 30s it’s just too much fucking hard work to maintain. I’m glad we did it though, I think sometimes just understanding that your partner is a sexual being with desires outside of the other partner is kind of profound. I felt it enabled me to really accept that my partner as a whole person not just as a girlfriend/wife, it’s a liberating experience, but not something that necessarily needs to be maintained all the time. I can’t imagine what it would be like to live in one of those polyamorous households, it seems just kind of silly and exhausting.

    1. True. Although unfortunately sometimes it’s easier to pretend your partner is NOT a sexual being with desires outside of yourself, for the sake of your sanity. lol

  4. Are you polyamorous to really connect with another person – are you emotionally available to them? Or just want to bone down? I feel like sometimes the “relationship” aspect gets ditched wayside and often it leaves your emotional brain hurt and confused while your logical brain tries to discount feelings because you (or they) acted within the limits of the rules or whatever. I’ve been in both styles of relationships and I like monogamy- it’s nice to be able to relax and settle into the trust relationships can create over time, but because I’m a little dirty occasional threesomes or foursomes are fun.

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