Culture writer (and general gem of sex-positivity) Caitlin Donohue gives a rundown of the best restaurants, bars, cafes and sex clubs to take your Tinder date in Mexico City, woo!
Mexico City loves Tinder. If you live here, you are probably on it. If you get a chance to visit, it’s the easiest way to get laid – but also to meet locals, a feat that seems to evade a lot of the gringos who make it down here. There’s extreme levels of bullshit being spread about Mexicans in the US these days, so consider it your gabacho duty to have a conversation with an intelligent chilango about what life in the world’s first or second (to Tokyo) biggest city. (And then fuck them, if appropriate.)
Dating tips: Don’t be an asshole. Your dollars go a lot further here (the peso-dollar conversion rate is super lopsided at the moment) and that’s because of neo-colonialist economic oppression, not because you work hard, duh. Regardless of gender, I say if you were the date’s instigator then you should offer to pick up the check. Even if they suggested the rendezvous, don’t order a bunch of expensive drinks because “omg that’s only $_____ in the United States!” Unless you’re paying, in which case go nuts.
Take some Spanish lessons before you fly down or at least upload Duolingo and practice some basic phrases. Most Tinder sluts in Mexico City will speak at least a modicum of English but it’s 2015. You should be able to order in a restaurant in Spanish.
Here’s some spots that’ll make it seem like you know what you’re talking about when talking date logistics with el bb de hoy.
1) Bosforo – mezcal and floor pillows
It is a short, short trip from this sexy, underlit downtown mezcal bar to bed. Bosforo is a popular date spot because of its central location and great selection of mezcals (Mexican liquor distilled from the agave plant – a smokier tasting version of tequila). Not that you’d eat on a date, but know that there is a delicious food menu here. The chapulín (grasshopper) blue corn tortilla quesadilla is the size of a dinner plate and viciously delicious. Definitely ascend the stairs at the back to snuggle on floor pillows and thick carpets with your caballitos of booze.
2) Delirio – caffeine and hipster watching
The two La Roma neighborhood locations of Delirio – one a restaurant, one a café that also sells gourmet food to take home — are cute spots for a daytime date. Attention, sober babes and/or Tinder addicts who don’t let sunshine stand in the way of hookup app dating. If you’re feeling antsy, suggest to your date that you take your orders to go and stroll down the green pathway that runs down Alvaro Obregon, La Roma’s main drag. Other amazing coffee spots: Chiquitito in the Condesa neighborhood and Café Avellaneda in the gorgeous Coyoacan area.
3) Club SW – swinging and salsa
“The lifestyle” can be heteronormative and retro-feeling, but for straights who want to go a super-slutty route for their Tinder date, it doesn’t get more exhibitionistic than at Club SW, Mexico City’s oldest swingers’ club. The central room’s dance floor is packed with couples in their 30s, 40s and beyond dancing to salsa (sometimes from a live band) – that is, until about 1:30 a.m. when this part of the club empties out as everyone retires to the dark rooms. Wednesdays is the designated night for threesomes if you’re feeling odd. Bring your own condoms (they’re expensive to buy there) and come correct because jeans and sneakers aren’t the look here.
4) Casa Gomorra – queers, queers, queers
It can be tough for queer women in Mexico City, honestly. Visibility is shit (much like it is in the rest of the world, tbh) and chill queer bars can be hard to come by. But the two year old Casa Gomorra, a community center and home to some of its organizers in the Obrera neighborhood, has some of the best, most inclusive events I’ve been to in the city. Your swipe-right can meet you here for one the bangin’ house parties featuring live music and performance. Even if they turn out to be a drag there will be a passel of genderqueer cuties to follow up with.
5) Sodome – showers and sex
Gays, you’re not going to get very far in your ho-ing without hearing about this men’s only bathhouse in the Anzures neighborhood. Sodome is the obvious option for a NSA Tinder evening, and you’ll find a buffet of thirds for here or to-go if that’s your fancy. Facilities are clean, water pressure is rad. You’ll get an adorable little white apron pre-stocked with lube and condoms should you want to preserve a little mystery at the start of your hookup. Entry will run you 200-250 pesos, 150 more if you want to rent a private room for three hours.
6) Bosque de Chapultepec – PDAs on the green
One of the most inspiring things about Mexico, or most Latin American countries really, is the population’s dedication to public make-outs. Preteen to middle aged folks can be seen in most plazas sucking face, and when there’s actual grass these couplings escalate to some very artful dry humping. The Bosque de Chapultepec is the capital city’s largest park, and features world-class art and history museums, a zoo and a tucked-away underwater mural by Diego Rivera. But more importantly for our purposes, a walk in the park can easily go horizontal. I advocate for the eastern edge by Calle Constituyentes for this purpose.
7) Patrick Miller – high kicks and easy access
An inspiring combination of factors makes this Friday-only nightclub in the La Roma neighborhood perfect for Tinder dates. Patrick Miller’s Mad Max-attired regulars in high NRG dance battles are so bizarre and stunning you won’t need to fill in the gaps with “conversation” (also good if you didn’t get the warning about practicing your español.) Sufficiently crushing crowds equal insta-snuggles with your companion for the evening. At 30 pesos each, the cover and your beer (no liquor here) will be super affordable. Check the documentary VICE made about the dancers to get an idea for vibes.
Caitlin Donohue is the founder of www.4umag.com and a freelance writer based in Mexico City. She writes for publications like The Advocate, Lucky Peach and iD Mexico, In previous lives she was the culture editor at the San Francisco Bay Guardian and staff writer for Tavi Gevinson’s Rookie.