Wheelchair Kid = Totally Obsessed With Me

December 19, 2009


Last week I wrote a blog post about my ongoing obsession with Colin, the wheelchair kid out of The Secret Garden. This entry followed a written love letter I sent to Colin’s work address, with the intention of conveying my eternal affection for him both as a beautiful, damaged child as well as an adult (sort of), in hopes that we would one day meet and get married and have lots of little wheelchair bound babies.

My dream has come true. Finally, weeks after sending the letter, Colin (real name Heydon Prowse) has publicly responded to me via his website Don’t Panic, basically saying he loves me too!!! Well… sort of. He did it in a slightly roundabout way, referring to me as a “pervert” and saying that I’m both “inappropriate” and a “sick and unhinged individual,” but I read between the lines. I could feel the underlying sense of lust in his words, his fervent desire for me. And anyway, those are compliments, right? I’m into being thought of as sick and unhinged. That’s hot. Well, it’s better than “normal” and “boring” anyway.

You can read Colin’s entire post on Don’t Panic HERE. [Be sure to scroll down to see the “cry for help” email he sent the NSPCC. What a joker!]

So, in response to his evasive, love-torn message, I’d just like to say: Colin, if you’re reading this, you don’t have to be shy anymore! I feel the same way! I understand you may be scared to profess your love as shamelessly as I have, but don’t worry, I will be here waiting when you are ready. So please my dear Colin, be true to your heart. This is our time. We’re meant to be together.

And one more thing. Before we take our relationship any further, I need to say something in my defense: I realize that my original letter may have been slightly overbearing, but just so you know, I’m not that crazy. I mean, is it really that weird that I masturbate to pictures of you as a kid? Let’s be real Col—you seem slightly over self-aware these days. I wouldn’t be surprised if you jerked off to pictures of your child self as well! (Also, I resent being referred to as a “hipster blogger.” Look in the mirror.)

So in conclusion, I still love you Colin. I really do. I still dream about you, still fantasize about holding you, licking you, smelling youstill want you inside me (pubic hair or not). You can’t fool me you silly boy; I’m an expert at playing games. I know you’re just playing hard to get. So stop with the mixed messages Colin!!! Are we gunna fuck or what?!?!



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  • Reply Nueve December 19, 2009 at 10:09 pm

    Congrats, Karley! This is good news… the obvious next step would be him publicly declaring his everlasting love for you because, well… because! I'm sure that's what's going to happen. Yes.

  • Reply ELLEN JANE ROGERS December 19, 2009 at 10:21 pm

    I love how he refers to people younger than himself as middle aged.

  • Reply fi December 19, 2009 at 11:38 pm

    You're in!

  • Reply Belittled Bee December 20, 2009 at 2:51 am

    hey if you ever hookup with him, let me know? we can formulate that threesome you were in want of;; it'll be hot. okay thanks!

  • Reply Claire December 20, 2009 at 11:03 am

    he says you saw him and missed him. at least you didnt recognise him?!?! damn

  • Reply sara December 20, 2009 at 7:06 pm


  • Reply dalas v. December 20, 2009 at 10:26 pm

    You're awesome.

  • Reply dominicjones December 20, 2009 at 11:54 pm

    wow he's even more of a little pussy hole now.

  • Reply ersnsny December 21, 2009 at 12:09 am

    MUHAHA! u'd so have him if u recognised him at that so called party! His just a self-cautious pussy that is still disabled inside! YOU GO GIRL!

  • Reply Chelsea December 21, 2009 at 1:43 am

    He is blatantly just pissed that you didn't recognise him at that party. That blog was the same kinda thing as posting pictures of your ex boyfriends cock all over facebook because he cheated on you with someone way hotter.PS.Get on it, he clearly wants it!

  • Reply Nastasia Alberti December 21, 2009 at 4:10 pm

    He's in love this is so obvs. X

  • Reply kirstindale December 22, 2009 at 9:55 pm

    to be honest karley, he must be on something because with a letter and a picture like that, I'd be sold!www.makemymorning.blogspot.com

  • Reply OffshoreOilDude December 23, 2009 at 4:34 pm

    I can't stop laughing about how he tried to report you…. (mind you his FB friends are weird!). I tell you Karley I'd fly to you if you made me the offers you've made him – you're hawt!

  • Reply boo December 23, 2009 at 8:27 pm

    I think he does want you he just hasn't realised it yet!

  • Reply boo December 23, 2009 at 8:35 pm

    what I don't understand is why evryones failed to mention this boy's haircut its slick!

  • Reply ELLE January 1, 2010 at 10:17 pm

    Haha after I read your previous posts on him, I happened to walk past him outside Liverpool St Station.

  • Reply caisa January 13, 2010 at 8:10 pm


  • Reply Sarah A. May 5, 2010 at 12:09 am

    dickon was really doing it for me back then but i did, however, name a hamster after colin…a friends little sister later threw that hamster at me and paralyzed him. sick fucking irony.

  • Reply Ml October 15, 2010 at 9:06 pm

    he removed the letter! what a looser! It's been a while but do you have a screen shot or copy of some sorts?

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